Dear T: I need to tell you something but I don't know how Part XIII

I don't want to go tomorrow. I feel like giving up. I don't think I can overcome this depression. I'm a waste of your time.

dear T,

I am so happy that I am going to see you today! I hope it'll be nice.

You're pretty damn good, in my humble opinion.

Both of you. Just wow. I thought of the two of you, one would come through.

I am screwed.

I was just thinking about you and broke down...and I don't even know why.

I knew there would be a legit reason for you not contacting me. It's not like you at all to disappear just like that. Unfortenately it's because of personal circumstances. I hope you're okay! I'm so sorry I wrote you that angry email. If I'd known I wouldn't have off course! I hope you don't have to cancel on me tomorrow, but if you do I'll understand. Take care.

YOu keep breaching your client's confidentiality and disrespecting them. Go ahead and continue. See how long it takes before it affects your pocket. Don't go crying to me when you can no longer afford the fancy homes, cars and vacations. No one will give you any sympathy for having disrespected your own profession

Never take your clients for granted or think you will pull the wool over their eyes and get away with it. That is just inhumane.

Dear T,

The last time I talked to PreviousT, I told her about how I was upset that I can only tell you pieces/fragments of memories sometimes. We talked a little more about the things that went on regarding PerpPsychiatrist.

She said, "You are really brave, do you know that?"
She said it in a most heartfelt way....it made me cry.

I mumbled something.

T, I don't feel brave. I didn't know what I was getting into. I feel witless. I didn't know what I was doing throughout all three of the lawsuits. I didn't know what things were important to tell my lawyer. I didn't know which things were "evidence." The police said he could go to jail for 2-6 years. I thought he was going to jail. I thought I would win the civil case. I told the lawyers I wanted my $5,000 back that he took from me. The lawyers told me they wouldn't take a case worth only $5,000..... But they would take a case worth $500.000. They made me feel I would win.

I was never prepared for what to do if I lost.

No, I don't feel brave.

I can't tell you but I'm all ❤❤❤ for you.

P.s. not in a romantic way

T,
I'm scared.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Dear t

Im feeling absolutely awful, im anxious about seeing friends bc i made plans today and im scared i dont want to see anyone i want to hide in a hole and cry

Dear T,

I can't do it. You think I can, but how I am now... no I can't. I know I'll stand still woth that. But really, I can't. I don't want to disssapoint you. I think you think I can do more than I can. Maybe you're right. But seriously. I'm feeling terrible. I can't concentrate. I can hardly come out of bed.
I don't know what to do anymore. I know we kind of talked about this today. But I haven't told you everything. Maybe I'll send you an email. But then I'll be afraid that you'l think it's better to terminate. And I don't want that even thought I just want to give up on therapy.
I don't want to feel like this anymore. I can't take it anymore. And I don't know what to do. Therapy can't make me feel better right away. This medication isn't working. And it takes time for another to know if that one will work. I can't seem to find anything that will make me feel less bad. Nothing works. And I hate myself so much. I don't know what to do.
Telling you this won't help either. You can't make me feel better.
I just want everything to go away.

T i feel so bad

Please don't cancel our appointment. I need to see you and be near you. I need it for closure.

T, I was thinking after our appointment today that you are effing awesome. Then I stopped myself and thought that I shouldn't think that. Now I'm thinking that it is okay... For now. The reality is that I didn't feel like my parents cared about me most of my life so when someone does, well that person is pretty darn awesome in my opinion. In my mind, if my own parents couldn't be bothered with me but you do care about me...

Doc,
Am I going to survive this? Feel like we are ripping off a tourniquet with simply a cursory glance at the mangled limb inferior. I know I have to do something other then just block off blood flow, but I fear I may bleed out prior to repair. Are there enough blood products on hand to prevent poor outcome? Is it possible to replace the tourniquet if necessary?
-lost

I am attatched!Please don't hurt me!

MC,
H and I were fighting again tonight. I know you say it should feel safe but it doesn't. I'm not sure how to fix that. I do know that you make me feel safe. I miss you. Please be there Monday.

Darling T -

Yes, I believe it wasn't by sure luck I stepped foot in your office.
I'm confused & I'm hurt but I'm thankful you're by my side to help me get thru this.

~EM

Not that anyone is keeping score but…

psychodynamic T 1
CBT T 0

This addiction is driving me crazy! Can I talk about this with you?

Had my hospital appt at last. The Dr was reassuring and the whole thing was less triggering than I thought. The Dr thinks it is nothing sinister which is a big relief.

Thanks for the last session. I feel much better now and I know its thanks to you.
I have so many emotions inside during sessions, but I I can't cry. I don't know why, but I know I feel stressed when I see you, although I really like our meetings.

seeing you today ^_^ don't know what we'll talk about, maybe anxiety, i've had so much of it.

Dear T1, I'm missing you today. Don't know what's brought it on but I just miss you.