Couch 88 - let's make it great!

This is me:

Me the other day when T actually said exactly what I had thought at her asking her to say prior to my session:

Grits, if you have not had them, are similar to polenta or corn meal mush. Not exactly the same - but similar. I like the ones I cook best. Not watery and with a lot of salt and pepper. And I like a fried egg added on top. I use the regular kind - often stone ground. I am not a big fan of the quick kind as I believe (perhaps sold by marketing) they do not have as much flavor.

Only one of those pictures does not scare me.

What's so scary about a cat reading?

I may start a phd program in psychology. I can do it for free through my own university (they don't care how many degrees you collect) and have been approved for the program.
I do not want to be a therapist, but I want to know what they are trained to do to clients.

Go for it SD.

I have taken classes here and there in order to find out what those people are doing. I usually just call up someone I know in the department and ask if they care if I sit in.

Sounds interesting.

I took a psych 101 class years ago and lecturer was either batshit crazy or just got a huge kick out of manipulating naive undergrads. I suspect the latter. We all adored her...

I've been thinking of that same thing as well. Mainly because the field fascinates me not because I would want to be a therapist.

I think it will be useful to find out what they are told to do and why. If it does not enrage me so much that I want to destroy them all. I don't find the subject matter all that interesting in terms of how to understand myself or humans in general (that does not really interest me at all) and I have despised every psych class I ever took - but I very much want to know what and why they are told to do things at clients.

Hmm - art, to me, that cat looks exactly the same - COLORS and pose - as your avatar!

So have I. Oh the housing carefree days. Never realized. I have a very rent controlled apartment in a city that is changing at the speed of light. The owner would love to get his hands on it so I have little wiggle room to risk another apartment problem.

I realize I am incrementally zooming in on where I live.

I want to know how and why they "create" certain environments. The reasoning and thought process behind methods and how they 'manipulate' / guide. Not sure that made sense. The mind (not my own) fascinates me.

I don't even remember what I have as my avatar. I suppose I should refresh my memory!

ETA after looking: now THAT was funny hankster!! I am giggling!!!

I suspect it would enrage you Stopdog. Their MO is to keep you at a level of annoyance/upset that you can handle, not too much, not too little. So just when it feels like things are starting to go good it feels like they pull the rug out from under you. And when you don't need or want the rug pulled out from under you anymore it's time to terminate. Can't win with a T, it's all about progress. And there's no progress without struggle, to borrow a quote...

I just want to know how they are told to do it to a client. I never feel like things are going well when I see the therapist - so there is no rug there for me. And I completely disagree about progress and struggle.

I'd never have thought it of my beloved t in the past, but I can't help but wonder now if it is true! Now that I am in this place where I have found my center, and she CAN'T pull the rug out from under me anymore, is why she mentioned terminating the other day. Yes, I wanted her to, that's true. But she never has BEFORE when I've brought it up, she's always said that I'm not done with therapy yet and talked me out of quitting. Is that because she knew she could still disrupt me and make me think? I'm certainly not feeling disrupt-able so much anymore. This is so FASCINATING. Everything about therapy is fascinating. Even when I have hated the whole process, hated t, hated myself - it was still fascinating.

I think thats a great idea. I did a heck of a lot of reading, as you know, and as i know you did yourself, this go-round of therapy. I like getting my questions answered.

Last night i was thinking of asking YOU a question. How do you make black bean soup? Not the recipe - i have a recipe. But you do all these wonderful things in your life, seemingly without question - like make beautiful foods, blow things up, etc - what do you say to yourself before you cook, for example? I think i need a positive role model for doing stuff. I think i never had that. Just depressed grumpy people who told me to leave them alone and to go read a book.

Anybody can answer, really. Who can!

I find their machinations fascinating. I am often amused at things the woman tries that fail ("oh good lord, you really thought that work?") and horrified when I inadvertently walk into her trap - but it is good to know where the traps are when she sets them and I have gotten much better at avoiding them.

I see something - I want to know how that works - let me go read all about it and give it a try. It is only a bunch of beans and water with some spices - the worst that can happen is that I will have to throw it out and try again.
Then when it works or when it doesn't (in all honesty - it is more fun in a way when it does not) I get to examine why or why not and what would happen if I did X instead next time.

I know the traps are there, but I walk in them anyway Hurts so good and all that nonsense. Getting attached to a T has to be the loneliest experience ever...

I told my t i can't tolerate any more rug pulling in my life, that he'd better be nice to me or he's gonna drive me over the edge. Thats maybe why its taking me so long? But i am seeing progress.

I just saw a commercial for a bacon wrapped pizza....what? Ew.