When the first appointment doesn't go very well...

Hi. I recently took the courage to tell my parents that I think to need therapy, and I went to the first appointment with a t, though I was very scared at the idea. I didn't like the experience. I was very embarrassed...I expected it to be hard talking about the things I was there for, but I hoped that while I talked with the t it would have become easier. Instead, it didn't. It seemed me to have told her very much and I was making big efforts, but she always asked me for more details, and I was too embarrassed to answer, so I remained silent and then I said that I didn't remember a particular case or that I didn't know how to explain, but sometimes I knew it, I was just too embarrassed. At the end she told me to think if I feel ready to share more in the next appointments, because it's essential for therapy.
Now I'm wondering: since the first appointment didn't go very well and I was so embarrassed, should I change t? Or should I try again with her, since I've already began and maybe next time I'll feel better? The problem is that, since I'm shy about the topic, maybe it would be the same with another t, and I could feel even more discouraged (that is how I already feel, after that appointment). Or could it be that the relationship between us didn't work, so it's better to change?
What do you think that I should do?
Thanks for any feedback.

Hi Bea,

Could you tell her that You feel shy about sharing certain information and let her try to help you with that?...If you can't tell her, you could write it out..or revise what you've written here, print it out and hand it to her.

Some Ts are good at helping us to talk. You might want to give it a few more sessions to see if she really is the T for you.

Maybe you would do better with a therapist that isn't so pushy? They all very a lot. I like mine because she doesn't force anything. I can just share photos I've taken, or talk about other things and she doesn't prod me to talk about anything painful. She knows we'll get there when we get there.

If you do go back, you might ask her if she can slow down or if this is her process. Then decide based on that whether or not you go back. If you decide not to, keep looking for one that takes a gentler approach. Some can be too "soft" in that they will let things meander endlessly, but others have a nice balance without being pushy.

In my experience, a data dump of information doesn't do much good.

Hello,

In the UK, the first session is an 'introductory' or 'intake' session. This means they are different from the usual sessions and its more like a short interview. These can feel quite 'snappy' fast and unusual if you've never seen a therapist before. It was also your t's space to explain therapy briefly, contracts etc etc so it may have felt like info overload.

The next session is likely to be a little bit more calmer. It is your choice to talk about what you feel 'embarrassing' in your own time and when you are ready and your t will understand this.

Be proud of yourself, you made a big step.

I would just be honest. Tell T that you're experiencing difficulty talking about these things. You want to talk about them, but you're embarrassed and having a hard time.

I've gone through this and still struggle with it in regards to a certain issue, but I'm always honest about how I'm feeling while trying to talk about things.

I think you should give it a couple more sessions at least. As others have mentioned, the first session is often more of an intake, with them asking standard type questions to get background about you. If you feel more comfortable being asked fewer questions, then say so. Or say you're not quite ready to talk about a certain topic. Ts can often vary their technique depending on what feels comfortable to you. If after, say, a couple more sessions you still don't feel comfortable, then consider trying someone else. Good luck!

Thanks to everybody. I'll think about it.