Pushing it down, Pain Springs Forth

I keep having these cycles of pain that revolve around therapy. I usually feel so disoriented, and in pain after sessions. Then a few days later I push things down, so by the time therapy rolls around. I'm "Fine" and don't feel a thing. Then we talk about some stuff, and right after sessions I feel in total shambles. What is the deal?!!!

I'm doing the exact same thing! I don't know why, but 2-3 days after I'm a mess. And right now I've pushed things down really deep so I'm doing ok, but I'm not sure if that's good because I do kind of think it needs to be up so I can deal with things.

Gee, this sounds like a topic I should raise with my T tomorrow.

This used to happen to me a lot, I would actually feel worse after a session. It just means you're working on some hard stuff! It will pass.

I think that often in therapy we are encouraged to increasingly let down our barriers and defenses. During and after therapy our emotions are a bit raw sometimes and we are (I am) contemplative. I think that somehow we continue to need our safety or think we need our defenses so up they go up again between visits. In time the defenses for certain issues become less needed as we work things through... Then on to the next thing... all over again...somewhat. It can vary with the issue and with the level of trust we may have with our therapist....(or even with ourselves.)

this happens to me as well. I had therapy on Monday but ths afternoon I spent 3 hours in bed exhausted & thinkkng abou stuff. I think that this happens because we can only deal with certain feelings little by little and not in one big heap (which is what probably got us into therapy in the first place). As Secret said, in our relationships with ourself and our T we begin to be able to manage the feelings according to how safe we feel. I was thinking about this issue this week because I had a dream about feelng safe, and I was wondering if my connection with my T would get stronger if my connection with myself got stronger. hmmmmm

Thanks you all. I emailed my T. She gave me some CBT stuff to do. Strangely it made me feel worse. i think i have a dependent personality or something b/c sometimes i just want someone to take it all away so i dont feel so alone with it like i did. i hate feeling alone.

((((hugs)))) It's called therapy... it's called healing.

((ev)) I agree with sky. Take care.

It's hard to get to the point in which you can actually feel that pain in therapy, and have your T share it with you. I think a lot of defenses come up in therapy to prevent us from having to confront that pain. But-- however strong our defenses, we cannot help the fact that emotions get seriously tossed and turned during our sessions-- so we feel it afterwards. I believe the goal is to get to a point of safety with the therapist, so that the emotions can be dealt with in the room. It sounds like you're doing great so far-- you are obviously opening up enough to get that jolt of emotion afterwards. Definitely share your experience with your T!

(((((((((((((((((EV)))))))))))))))))))))))))

I can relate. That's how my sessions usually turned up at the end.

(((((((((((((((( EV )))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((EV)))))))))))))))))))

I know the feeling ... do you journal at all about how you feel after your sessions? That can help sometimes ... or just writing stuff down afterwards that you want to make sure you bring up with your T next time ...