Is there a difference with feeling safe inside yourself or with the therapist?

Is there a difference with feeling safe inside yourself or with the therapist?.

I was just pondering the idea of feeling 'safe' in therapy; its something I have never achieved to the point where I feel I can just say whatever, and it will be OK. When I told T1 I didn't feel safe, I think he was at a loss to know how he could make me feel safer and couldn't understand it was nothing he was doing wrong or that he could do better. I haven't yet told T2 I don't feel safe in therapy with him, though I suspect he already knows it.
But you raise a good point: do I feel safe inside myself? No. And there are several subjects I am scared to raise to my own awareness. I just don't feel safe and I don't know where some of this will take me mentally. I don't think you can feel safe in therapy without feeling safe in yourself to some extent; for me, the two will have to grow together.

"safe" and "within myself" are not concepts that go together in the same sentence for me. I'm not being facetious - I don't understand what it means.

[edited to add: I do feel safe when I am alone - more than at any other time, including when I am in T's office. Is that what you mean?]

I generally feel safe wherever I am and whomever I am with now. It hasn't always been that way, but it is mostly true now.

I once was terrified no matter who I was with. Then I found safety in therapy. Eventually I finally could even trust myself. Took a long time to get there though. It isn't always 100%, but I have faith that even when I am not feeling safe, I have the resources now, internally and externally, to manage through until I feel secure again.

Deep. This requires a lot of thought. Hmm!

I do feel safe within myself. I know who I am and I like me. I would not want to be anyone but me
I do not feel safe with the therapist- particularly not the first one. It is more medium with the second. Others are iffy. When I know the situation or the type of role and where I fit, I am fine, but there are those where I am not safe at all if others are involved. And not because of the others hurting me, it is not that usually (it is that with the therapist)

Ah. Those things are not true for me. I don't know who I am and I don't like myself at all. I would be equally hopeless regardles of who I was, though.

I feel safe with my T, in the sense that I trust that he will a) keep my confidence, b) use his best judgment to help me, and c) be on my side. I also find his office a calming place in itself. I sometimes picture it when I'm feeling anxious - usually not with T in it, though.

I picked other. I feel safe within myself, I feel safe with the therapist, and I feel safe with certain other people as well. Like you, I like myself, trust myself, and feel safe by myself. That safety extends to the people I trust-- T, close friends, etc.

I cannot reconcile the idea of Stopdog paying to sit with a therapist weekly who hurts her. Or did I misunderstand something?

I picked "other." I'm not sure I know what safe feels like, but I do know that I feel comfortable with my therapist most of the time and mostly comfortable with myself when I'm working or asleep.

The woman intentionally mocked me. I now make her not talk and I never play with her.

Mocking someone... especially therapist to client... is incredibly disrespectful. Was she remorseful at all?

No. She admitted it, but was without remorse. I finally got a half-hearted apology but only after quite sometime.
I did walk into the trap she laid. Now I am more viglilent and have gotten better at not doing so.

I'm not sure how to answer this. Not because I don't understand the question, but because I am in a very strange place right now... I'm not sure I feel safe at all... I don't trust myself to fly solo right now, that's for sure. I'm at a huge junction in my life and nothing feels safe. But maybe that's just life and the risks we have to take to live it...
Safe... Is there any such thing I wonder?

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I chose "other." I feel safe within myself around 90% of the time. As I am working on trauma from the past, I sometimes struggle being in my own skin a bit, but generally I like being myself.

I feel very safe with my therapist, and there are a few people in my life-my parents and a few close friends who I feel extremely safe with.

You're more tolerant than I am, I guess. I wouldn't want to be in the same room with her.

I picked other. I do not feel safe. Period. Not with myself, not with others, not with T, not with an armored security truck and german shepherds and. . .well, you get the picture.

I know who I am, I don't like that person, I'm trying to turn that person into someone I can like and who does things that I admire. I can't relax my guard for a moment, or I'll slide further back into that person, and further away from the person I wish to be "when I grow up."

Physically I only feel safe with my children, although I manage to tame that fear most of the time in public. Mentally unsafe all the time.

Good question SD!

hmm... I had to read the responses before I totally understood (or think I understand) what you are asking.
Physically, I generally feel "safe" in that I don't care what happens to me or my body. Well, that's not totally accurate, but I pay very little attention to what happens to me. I grew up in chaos and continue to live in chaos to a degree, so I feel as safe as I can at the moment. There's not much that can physically be done to me that has not been done, or that I have not thought of doing myself.
Emotionally, I don't feel safe all that often, neither within myself nor anyone else. I tend to feel safer with certain people, but even that is not all the time. I had a few therapists I look back upon and realize I was safe in their presence and in communicating with them, but it often didn't feel safe at the time. Definitely don't feel that with current T, but 2, 4 & 18 T's ago I had that, so I know it's possible...

Oh, I generally dislike myself as a person (at least at the moment and in this physical area), and I dislike the path my life is taking. I'm working on changing both of those, though my life-path is the easier one to change, so that gets more effort. I end up spending a lot of time hating myself and fearing others feel the same way (though I would also understand if they did).

I voted other because sometimes I'm only safe inside myself, some times with the t and sometimes not at all

Do you mind if I ask why you bother to see this person at all? You sound like you really dislike her, and for good reason!

i feel only safe with my therapist. i rarely feel safe with myself, and never with others.

I'm not sure I understand what feeling safe within myself means. On one hand I have a lot of regrets about how I used my life up to now; I wish I had more of an impact on things that I value. But on the other hand I did try many of those things and it would've taken either me being a different person or me having had self-knowlege and knowledge about what to do with that knowledge for any of that to have come off. I think. This is where the unsafety comes in. Was it actually my failings, laziness?

But in discrete moments I'm quite often safe and happy. More that way than not.

With other people there's always tension between their expectations and mine so, I'm not sure if safe is the right word but I certainly don't feel like I can be myself without having to fight for my right to have my own opinions, quirks, etc. Too many people think that given time and proximity to their superior way of being in the world I'll come around. This could be a function of where I live, how I meet others, my own filter, or just human nature. It doesn't particularly bother me.

As far as with a therapist: I feel safe in that I'm not looking for validation, just knowledge about who I am, why, and after I choose how I want to change, what roadblocks are in the way for me to get around. I feel safe when it goes that way. I don't feel safe when, per usual, I have to stay on guard to keep it about my goals not theirs.

She does stay back well. I go pay high priced rent to the woman in order to have her do a credible acting job of pretending to listen.
I also consider dealing with her like engaging in a rather dangerous hobby-like rattlesnake milking or cage wrestling.

I am bipołar so whether I feel safe with myself and/ or others varies from day to day. Whether I feel safe in therapy also fluctuates. I went through a period in oct and nov where I was convinced my therapist did not want to work with me anymore. Obviously at that point I didn't feel comfortable.

I don't know which to pick. I'm not sure what "safe" is exactly. I'm not a generally fearful person - I'm assertive and yet I tend to be emotionally withdrawn and very controlled. Perhaps in that sense I don't feel safe because I don't trust easily. Hm. I haven't ever thought of my T as safe or not safe. I do think he's a safe person to open up to as he has always treated me competently and with respect.