Couch 90 - nine tee - not nine teen.

There was an island nation or something around there which was hit hard by a cyclone, Cyclone Pam. Lots of deaths. Supposed to hit New Zealand but not so hard? Just woke up a little while ago, brain not fully functioning yet.

I was thinking the same thing.

Oh - that is unfortunate. I had not heard of a cyclone.
I hope CE's yurt is in good stead.

I'm with SD. I haven't seen drama between members, just a lot of stuff happening to people from their Ts.

All I can say from my perspective is that reading about other people's struggles with being dropped by their Ts (and I'm not singling out one particular PC member--this is a theme that pops up here every few weeks) makes me very wary of fully opening up to my T. I got some really heavy, dark stuff behind my emotional walls, and I don't trust my T enough yet to give her a glimpse into it, and what if I do and she decides it's too much for her to handle and she drops me? Ugh, this is unpleasant to even consider.

I am trying my hardest to think of it like this... Probably, the majority in therapy aren't having experiences like this, but the people who have had troubled relationships with their t's sought an online forum to discuss it.

I have to admit, that it scares me reading about t horror stories..

The whole forum has gotten into an anti-therapy, anti-therapist, anti-specific kinds of therapy, etc. mode that is not indicative of most peoples' experiences and is, quite honestly, a downer. Not something I need to be around. Heaven forbid someone actually discuss positive therapy experiences right now; you get jumped on.

It will pass, but right now that's the current vibe. I prefer positive vibes.

I think it is good people are aware of the dark side of therapists and therapy. It is just information to keep in mind. I like doing several dangerous things - knowing they are dangerous does not keep me from doing them - I just do them with some awareness of what can happen. I plan on it not happening, and I train for it to not happen, but there are no guarantees. Everything has some risk to it.

I find this site to be, with the exception of me and a very few others, super duper pro therapists and therapy.
Interesting how things hit people differently.

Agreed. My therapy is going reasonably well right now, thus I feel little need to post about my sessions.

It also seems to me that this board seems to slant towards the negative. Positive posts seem to get less responses and drop off the front page a lot faster. Anything that feeds into an abandonment fear seems to remain a hot topic for a very long time. In addition, there seems to be a handful of posters who seem to be here mostly to vent their fear/anger about therapy.

I have been trying to decide if PC is no longer useful for me. It suited me well when I was in a different mindset. It does makes sense that as I heal and change, my needs will also change.

The problem is that I need to find a new discussion board. Maybe I need to branch back out into some of my other interests. What did I like before I became obsessed with therapy?

I think fear and anger are valid things to post about. When people don't know what they are getting into and the therapists don't explain - it is far too easy for people - especially women who are often trained to blame themselves for everything and particularly when dealing with the medical and quasi medical world - to think it is all their fault or that putting up with abuse is what therapy is about.
I am more influenced by how my clients have been treated by their therapists and psychiatrists and in my professional interactions with them than by what people post here.
I have picked two who are not completely intolerable to me, but the ones I deal with for my clients are something else.

Yeah, I totally get what you are saying.

Some people seem to have a negative experience with one therapist and then project that experience on to all therapists, which really bothers me. I also think the use of the word "unethical" is vastly overused re: therapists. Some therapists aren't great at their jobs, but that does not automatically make them unethical.

But that is human nature it seems to me. If you buy a bad car/have bad experience from X car company, you generally do not keep buying cars from that company. You might not give up cars altogether, but certainly most don't rush back in to buy from that one again and often do generalize that X is a bad company.

Why does it bother you? I guess I don't see how it has anything to do with anyone else and I am wondering what it is about someone deciding therapy is not useful from one bad therapy experience that is upsetting to someone else. It has no bearing on others getting something useful or therapists continuing to exist.

I start to find PC uninteresting if the bulk of the posts are about fear and distrust. I do not fear therapy or my therapist. I'm interested in reading about things that are working in therapy. I wish I could find more posts like that.

Totally agree with you.. Therapy is going well for me, it seems that T is really what I need. I guess I don't post about it when things are going well. Or I get afraid that people will trash on the kind of T/client relationship that we have and I don't need anybody doing that. So, I stick to the couch and talk about March Madness, divorcing my husband, and chocolate

I find both what works for people as well as what does not equally fascinating. I am fascinated at how others do it.

You're right.. when I first joined lots of people just wrote about how their T sessions went.. and I found that soooo interesting!!

YES! That is the difference! You're right! I remember that too. I miss those days.

But a lot of people who post re: a negative experience w/a therapist DO give up on therapists altogether. In your example, I can only see that therapists as a whole = cars as a whole.
As for why this attitude bothers me, it's partially because of what Chris said...anyone else who has had a more positive experience and posts about it often gets jumped on by those who can't relate.

Therapy requires such openness and personal risks that bad therapy isn't like a bad car, even if objectively the stakes from a bad car can be higher. If a consumer item doesn't work the way you thought it would, you know it's not personal. If a therapist is incompetent, even if it's just in your case, the fallout can be devastating. I say can because I was lucky, it wasn't like that for me; my issues don't elicit that. There for the grace of something went I.

Also the possibility that therapy is being overused to change what are personal quirks, and the limits of even good and helpful therapy are as legitimate topics here as are topics on good therapy and how to make that more effective.

I haven't seen positive experiences getting jumped on, others saying they have had a different experience is valid I think. But I don't think people have told others that the positive experience they had was wrong. What is it that is wanted when they post what they consider positive?

I have had nothing less than positive experiences so far in therapy. I don't post much about my therapy. I do find it interesting to read other positive stories. I tend to avoid the negative threads as much as I can.

I joined here because I don't know anyone else who has actually been in therapy. I wanted to be around others who are also in therapy. No one I know wants to hear about therapy. In fact, they pretty much avoid the topic or anything that could lead to the topic.

That might be because you don't tend to post positive experiences with therapy so you aren't on the receiving end of it.

What is wanted? What most people want; simply to be heard. Not be told we were just lucky or we have our therapists on pedestals, etc. Not to have our own therapy picked apart simply because its a different modality than others use or like.

When people with positive therapy experiences start not sharing their own experience because they know they'll just get received with cynical and negative responses, then there is something wrong here. And trust me, there are many of us who have just chosen not to share as much because we get tired of having to defend our good therapy from those who insist that pretty much all therapy and therapists are unethical swindlers who are preying on the gullible. It hasn't always been this way here. This IS a change in this forum over the last year or so that just isn't good for me personally. I suspect I am not the only person who has started distancing from this forum (think of how many fear wandering from the couch because only the couch is safe).

I tend not to post because I don't have a major negativity towards my T. I am currently dealing with some negative feelings towards him and yet I don't think in a black and white way so I can say, "I trust him, I like him, and he did X and I feel X about it and I need to chat with him."

But since I know what I need to do, I'm not really going to post about it on PC.