Home Menu

Menu


Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #426  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 08:37 AM
NowhereUSA's Avatar
NowhereUSA NowhereUSA is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 2,490
So I've heard twice now that the recommendation is not to hang with one T too long. The first person to say it to me said people start to see the T as the reason they're doing well instead of themselves. Another was a thread here and it was said that one needs a fresh perspective.

That being said, I have a habit of just ending relationships. I moved so frequently growing up and even as an adult (this upcoming Sept. will be 4 years at a single address - I've literally never lived anywhere in the world that long). I won't keep in contact with people and I don't get attached very easily. It's taken me five years just to be able to be entirely open with my T.

I'm a "third culture kid" (TCK) and we have this problem and I realized that probably typical therapy recommendations aren't going to work for me. When you're the one ready to abandon people, you realize you have weird abandonment issues :-/
__________________
“It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
Hugs from:
unaluna

advertisement
  #427  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 08:48 AM
Anonymous200320
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I think it is generally an extremely bad idea to make large changes in one's therapy based on what somebody writes here. All people are different, and nobody can know better than you what works for you.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, Ellahmae, NowhereUSA, ragsnfeathers, UnderRugSwept
  #428  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 08:49 AM
Anonymous200320
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
For me, being 40+ is better than being 30+, and much better than being 20+.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #429  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 08:51 AM
NowhereUSA's Avatar
NowhereUSA NowhereUSA is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 2,490
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mastodon View Post
I think it is generally an extremely bad idea to make large changes in one's therapy based on what somebody writes here. All people are different, and nobody can know better than you what works for you.
Oh the first person wasn't here. It was another T that runs a group I'm part of.
__________________
“It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
  #430  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 08:53 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
underdog is here
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,154
My partner has been seeing the same therapist for about 20 years.
I never heard one should not. Sometimes if someone feels stuck or like the therapist is no longer being of assistance in some fashion - moving on makes sense - but I have never heard of it as some sort of therapy rule or common suggestion.

There may be types of short term therapy/therapists who don't think someone should see a therapist for more than a certain period of time.
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, NowhereUSA, ragsnfeathers
  #431  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 08:57 AM
healed84's Avatar
healed84 healed84 is offline
Young Butterfly
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Posts: 7,574
Morning couch, my kids are in Spanish class and I have nothing to do. Fighting depression.. Not sure why I feeling it Extra heavy today.
__________________
"You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second."

"You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Last edited by healed84; Mar 16, 2015 at 09:04 AM. Reason: Damn autocorrect
Hugs from:
CantExplain, Ellahmae
  #432  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 08:59 AM
Anonymous200320
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by NowhereUSA View Post
Oh the first person wasn't here. It was another T that runs a group I'm part of.
Yes - I referred to where you mentioned a thread here. I think I was a bit unclear.
Thanks for this!
NowhereUSA
  #433  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:02 AM
Ellahmae's Avatar
Ellahmae Ellahmae is offline
Aranel
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: my dark reality
Posts: 4,148
Morning couchies. I'm somewhat hopeful this will be a good week, but it is only 08:00 on a Monday so we'll see. The last time I thought I was going to have a good day it went to hell only 3 hours later and affected me throughout the weekend. Trying to stay positive.

Fear is the the thief of ambition.

((healed)) I hate it when the depression monster rears it's head for what seems like no reason.
__________________
**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**

Hugs from:
Anonymous200320
Thanks for this!
healed84
  #434  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:05 AM
NowhereUSA's Avatar
NowhereUSA NowhereUSA is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 2,490
Well. That helps. I have no plans to ditch my T. He does good work.
__________________
“It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
Hugs from:
Anonymous200320
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #435  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:10 AM
catonyx's Avatar
catonyx catonyx is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,780
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
The only one where you don't get older is to be dead.

This is true. I was hoping for staying stagnant. lol
__________________
Until I fall away
I don't know what to do anymore.
Thanks for this!
unaluna
  #436  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:11 AM
catonyx's Avatar
catonyx catonyx is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,780
Standing in airport security line. Forever long... Zzzz....
__________________
Until I fall away
I don't know what to do anymore.
  #437  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:14 AM
NowhereUSA's Avatar
NowhereUSA NowhereUSA is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 2,490
Airport security. Such a joke. In the US anyway.

I hate the TSA. Not the individuals, I don't know them. Just the organization.
__________________
“It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
  #438  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:16 AM
catonyx's Avatar
catonyx catonyx is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,780
Well... I don't have much with me so it should be quick... Just all the hundred other people with several bags a piece.
__________________
Until I fall away
I don't know what to do anymore.
  #439  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:16 AM
Anonymous100330
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
This past weekend, I was hellbent on buying a new car. A friend asked me why I needed one when I have such a good one already. I wasn't sure that need factored in to new car buying, but it did come down to the fact that I'm depressed, my car needed cleaning and I didn't want to vacuum it. And the radio antenna was funky. She took me out for coffee and a cookie until the spell broke. Damn. I was about to buy an orange car and I don't even like that color. I hate it when other people are right.
Hugs from:
unaluna
Thanks for this!
ragsnfeathers
  #440  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:18 AM
NowhereUSA's Avatar
NowhereUSA NowhereUSA is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 2,490
Quote:
Originally Posted by licketysplit View Post
This past weekend, I was hellbent on buying a new car. A friend asked me why I needed one when I have such a good one already. I wasn't sure that need factored in to new car buying, but it did come down to the fact that I'm depressed, my car needed cleaning and I didn't want to vacuum it. And the radio antenna was funky. She took me out for coffee and a cookie until the spell broke. Damn. I was about to buy an orange car and I don't even like that color. I hate it when other people are right.
Was it going to be sporty?

I always imagined if I bought a car spontaneously, I would buy something sporty.
__________________
“It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
  #441  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:29 AM
Anonymous100330
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by NowhereUSA View Post
Was it going to be sporty?

I always imagined if I bought a car spontaneously, I would buy something sporty.
Sort of sporty (for me). The urge has not fully passed, but I think I will be able to stay away from fruit colored cars for now.
Thanks for this!
unaluna
  #442  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:30 AM
catonyx's Avatar
catonyx catonyx is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,780
lol fruit coloured cars.

Yesterday I was all over a Firetruck red 4Runner
__________________
Until I fall away
I don't know what to do anymore.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #443  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:36 AM
NowhereUSA's Avatar
NowhereUSA NowhereUSA is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 2,490
My dream car is... a Tesla Model S.

I saw one on the road a few months back. I mean, I love hot cars, but rarely does a car actually make my heart start to pound.

I think I'm in love with it. Ssssshhh don't tell my husband.
__________________
“It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
Thanks for this!
Ellahmae, unaluna
  #444  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:45 AM
ragsnfeathers's Avatar
ragsnfeathers ragsnfeathers is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: U.S.
Posts: 661
My dream "car" is a Razor scooter. I see people riding them and drool. I got a free one years ago and took it for a test scoot but was terrified. So if I get one it will be a Big Commitment to learn. Also not an impulse purchase since I exceed the weight limit on the standard adult models sold in the store so it would have to be an online purchase.
  #445  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:47 AM
ragsnfeathers's Avatar
ragsnfeathers ragsnfeathers is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: U.S.
Posts: 661
Note to self: you know you react strongly to coffee. Don't even think about drinking it after dinner again. Even a half a cup.
  #446  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:51 AM
Anonymous200320
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I don't want to derail the other thread where this is discussed, so - what does "sometimes a hug is just a hug" mean?
  #447  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:55 AM
UnderRugSwept's Avatar
UnderRugSwept UnderRugSwept is offline
Introvert Extraordinaire
 
Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 2,184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mastodon View Post
I don't want to derail the other thread where this is discussed, so - what does "sometimes a hug is just a hug" mean?
I think it means that there are no ulterior motives behind it...it is simply a comforting gesture.
__________________

"Take me with you,
I don't need shoes to follow,
Bare feet running with you,
Somewhere the rainbow ends, my dear."
- Tori Amos


Last edited by UnderRugSwept; Mar 16, 2015 at 09:57 AM. Reason: changed a word bc I am not awake yet
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #448  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:56 AM
Ellahmae's Avatar
Ellahmae Ellahmae is offline
Aranel
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: my dark reality
Posts: 4,148
I had to get a monster this morning. The lady at the register told me I look like I need two... that was a fun exchange. Yes I know I'm tired. No I don't need you to point it out. lol :P
__________________
**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**

Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #449  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:57 AM
Ellahmae's Avatar
Ellahmae Ellahmae is offline
Aranel
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: my dark reality
Posts: 4,148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mastodon View Post
I don't want to derail the other thread where this is discussed, so - what does "sometimes a hug is just a hug" mean?
I said that because for me it's not giving me something I'm missing. I genuinely just like the action of hugging. It's a connection to me, a display of the strength of a relationship no matter the relationship type.
__________________
**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**

Thanks for this!
NowhereUSA, unaluna
  #450  
Old Mar 16, 2015, 09:57 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
underdog is here
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,154
I like to drive really fast - but sport cars don't really hold any allure for me. I think because I am rather short - the ones I have been in are hard for me to see over the steering wheel.

I would really like one of the old wood-sided station wagons from the 50's or early 60s - the ones that were sort of square.
In lieu of that, a volvo station wagon or the station wagon I have now - which I chose over the volvo in production at the time. I really like station wagons. I tried an suv for a while, but did not like it.
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Closed Thread
Views: 59634

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:28 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.