Mixed up

Hello,

I'm sorry in advance as I don't think I know what exactly I want to ask. My counsellor today had to ask me twice to go back on things I said to try to make more sense. I'm just really struggling at the moment and in a bad place. Tried to tell my doctor yesterday and chickened out but I did manage to explain to my counsellor today and she was lovely. But 2 things in hindsight confused me. She asked me once if there are things I have still not mentioned to her or brought into therapy. I said if there are i'm not aware of them. And later she asked if I think I'm in denial (a long running discussion about events in my past she feels I minimise). I said I guess so as it has become evident that I've been in denial about a lot of my problem and she said it was good I saw that. I guess it worries me that does she think I'm keeping things from Her or overreacting...

I hope this makes some sense, I know I'm rambling a bit here but thank you for reading

I would guess she's working with you to help you both understand what's causing you to feel bad. Therapists who do it right don't judge people. The reason they questions is to help clients understand themselves better and find better ways to take care of themselves.

It sounds to me as though she thinks there's more going on with you than is being brought up in therapy, and she wanted to clarify if that was conscious or not. You seemed to answer by saying that if there is, it's not conscious. So she got her answer and you created a new question (re: denial). It doesn't feel like any judgement against you at all. And I definitely don't thinks she sees you as overreacting or withholding anything intentionally.

Sometimes clients do hold things back, especially at first. It sounds as though she may have just been checking in to find out if there was anything major that hadn't been spoken about yet that was important to the work you're doing. I don't think it reflects a belief that you're holding back, just that it would be common human nature to do so. Nothing wrong with not being totally open and nothing wrong with being completely open.

it will be easier for you to 'open up' (oh how I hate that cliched phrase, i'm so sorry for using it) with time. you need to be able to go at your own pace.

The client gets to choose how and when or even if to tell a therapist something. I would not being pressured.

I think sometimes we tell T the endings of events but not always about beginnings or the journeys there. I imagine she is concerned or wants to help you.. and perhaps wants you to trust her to explore things and the unconscious with you.