Calling or emailing T

I've been seeing my T for about 4 months now and sometimes I really I want to contact her outside of our sessions. I don't want to be bothersome but I think about what I want to talk to her about all week between sessions and it stresses me out. She never told me whether it was okay to call or send a long email and I don't want to get disappointed if she doesn't answer and waits to bring it up when we meet again.

I'm doing well right now so it's not like I'm having breakdowns or emergency situations, I think I just don't want to feel like the only time I can talk to T is during sessions.

I know the easy answer is to ask her if she answers calls and longer emails but I don't want to come across as needy...

If she has an email address, and it's important to communicate with her, I'd go ahead and send an email. But don't start off asking or saying that you hope it's okay to email. If she answers, you'll know what her preference is. I didn't ask mine; I just did it. Especially if you're going through a particularly hard time, I don't think it's needy at all. I wouldn't see a therapist who saw anyone as needy.

I email my T, she mostly won't respond and we'll read it / discuss it in session. Is this a possibility? I have also arranged a check in by phone once or twice which I pay for as a session. I know talking is hard but it's the only way to figure out what she's open to.

I would tread carefully with this as different Ts have very different boundaries and discovering what your Ts boundaries are can be a difficult experience, and can feel rejecting. I only ever contacted my T in a crisis and after I did it the first time I discovered that this is what she wished. I too used to find it hard to hold onto my thoughts all week, but I did.

I e-mail my therapist when i need to vent and stay connected. I tell her not to respond and that we can discuss it next session. If it's not a true emergency or crisis situation I never look or wait for a response. It's really hard though, especially when therapy is good and you have an awesome therapist. (just can't get enough of them). I agree with Jane and Lickety. Go ahead and send the e-mail but don't get all worked up if she doesn't respond. Try to discuss it next session or if you just really need to communicate with her ask her if shes open to check-ins via e-mail or phone. I hope everything works out for you.

The few times I've e-mailed mine, I've generally just said, "You don't need to write a detailed response to this, but I'd appreciate you just letting me know that you've read it." Once she called in response, the others she wrote something brief. The same with phone calls/voice mails--sometimes I'll say I'm just leaving her an update as an FYI, other times I may ask her to call me back if she has time.

I wouldn't send a long e-mail as the first one, though, unless you've discussed it with her. I'd also suggest writing things down in between sessions that you think of and want to talk about in between sessions. I find that helps me remember stuff that I want to address and stay more focused.

I emailed a therapist for the first time recently. I was nervous but it was a good experience. I too think of things I want to talk about in next session (it drives me a bit batty if I obsess over it) but then I get there and don't talk about any of it!!!

There was something I really wanted to make sure we talked about tho so I emailed her saying that I'd like to discuss it in the next session. I was also asking her if she knew about something and realizing that it could sound like a request for her to do work outside of our session. I just acknowledged that she would have boundaries around doing so and that even tho I wasn't sure what those boundaries were that I respected them. Her response was really positive.

I also re-read the therapy agreement I signed when we started working together and it stated what her response time would be. I think it says something like 48 hrs business days. It helped me not trip out when she didn't reply right away.

licketysplit, "I wouldn't see a therapist who saw anyone as needy." That makes so much sense when I see someone else say it I still feel too needy emailing my therapist but it's gotten better. Just the thought of it still makes me feel vulnerable.

Try to bring it up to T next session. My T lets me text him whenever I feel very sad/upset. He gets back the same day saying he got my text message and would text a longer response or give me a phone call. I always tell him I feel like I am bothering him but he assures me that I am not.

My t told me to call her any time. I told her that I will call on emergency. I haven't so far but I might

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I send actual letters. The writing helps me, but I don't want a response.

I text my T in crisis, but also if I am unsettled & need to get some sh** out of my head. He always gets back to me. He also seems to know what I need from his reply, which is incredibly supportive & calming for me.

This is the purpose for me too. I'm pretty isolated and my T encourages me to reestablish the connection between sessions.

Your responses about emailing a therapist has blown me away a bit. Email? You have your therapists email? I have been seeing this written a lot lately. Maybe it is my age, but I just never thought to ask for an email. well now that I think about it I did communicate with a Pdoc via email a few times. She also had 2 phones 1 for emergencies and 1 for med and appointment stuff. I have recently been thinking about asking my therapist for an email so I can send her a link. I'm not too sure of how I would feel if I had it.

I have had phone relationships with both docs and therapists in the past. I would call in an emergency or in case of medication, medication questions that came up. They all had their own private practices. They had access to my messages at any time. Their call back times varied depending on the message left.

Presently my Med doctor and therapist are with a local community health center. The doctor can be contacted outside of appointment time. This is a text via the community health centers nurse.
I would only attempt to call my therapist during business hours. She recently called my house from her personal phone, but she never technically gave me her number. I am still debating whether to delete the # form caller ID. I actually believe that because she is not in private practice that off hours calls should not be expected as part of my treatment.
My treatment doctor has made it perfectly clear through his behavior that he is only available during scheduled times. He's actually recently been terminated.

I don't know if I am different or if the rules are different. I think of the relationship I have as more business like than before.

I will add that sometimes I call my therapist just to leave a happy positive message. I've spent so many years calling others in desperate emergency situations that I figure I can make up for it by leaving this one a good message now and again.

My T encourages Emails. I can Email or text her anytime I feel the need. I've received responses 7 days per week, around the clock. I was surprised to receive an Email from her a couple weeks ago at like 2-2:30 in the morning. I guess she keeps MY hours sometimes....I'm a night owl.

Just wanted to say that my T's (individual T and marriage counselor) have their e-mails listed on their business cards, so it wasn't a matter of asking. (Business e-mails, not like personal e-mails.)

And in terms of calling, I just leave voicemails on their office phone. I think some clients have their cell numbers, but I feel weird asking for them. (Actually, I may technically have my individual T's, since she called me from there, but I'd feel weird calling it back.)

You really need to talk to her about what her boundaries are regarding out of session contact.

I definitely would not assume that it's okay to email her/him simply based on the fact that you have access to an email account for that person, as someone else suggested. You don't want to be seen as a boundary pusher. It might cause your therapist to put up strict boundaries with you when it comes out of session contact. It's safer to ask first instead of burning that bridge in the first place.

Some therapists don't do out of session contact at all, so be prepared for the answer being no, but hopeful that it's a yes.

I have never had contact with T out of session. I can call and vent to her voice mail but not expect a call back. If I need an emergency session it will be with another T in the agency, not mine.

I think it's strange that it could be any other way. And I think it would lead to all sorts of misunderstandings and hurt feelings if she allowed it but didn't reciprocate or respond fast enough or whatever thousand scenarios we see on PC all the time. And what if she took it away completely after letting me have it?

I'd rather have therapy face to face. Some of the growing comes from being self-contained between sessions, in my opinion.

i used to text mine, but i don't do that anymore because i'm terrified of intruding on her personal life. also, there is not so much of a need anymore as i have learnt some coping skills i can use. i learnt those in DBT.