Couch 92 Found my shoe

It's a burden, certainly. I don't think it was a mistake, but there can be no doubt we would be richer and more carefree without our daughter.

I wouldn't choose to do it alone.

"should be feeling" is an unfortunate combination.
Let's find out how you do feel.

There is no way anyone can be "ready" for children. You just hold your nose and jump.

I think your daughter would get a lot of lemonade.

That's a great idea!

Changing the subject entirely...

Do you ever find yourself with very little to do and not doing it because then you would have nothing to do?

I suspect pretty much everyone dealing with teenagers struggles in some way or another. The trick is not to personalize it too much. Unless you are blatantly doing something to cause the teenage drama, most likely it is just teenagers being teenagers. They are basically hormones with legs.

I have great boys, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to kill them from time to time. I have found their quirks and errors and attitude rarely have anything to do with anyone but themselves and whatever was rolling around in their brains.

I do see kids at school who are dealing with HUGE family problems, deeply rooted psychological issues, chemical dependency issues, but honestly, those are not the norm. If you don't have those kinds of issues going on, if you are dealing with the typical attitude, occasional irresponsibility kind of stuff, know that this too shall pass. And even the larger issues can be dealt with very successfully if the right interventions and actions are taken early on.

Hang in there. Parenting is difficult at times, but somehow both parents and kids generally manage to survive it.

Hi Mastodon. Cant quite recall how to quote anymore, sorry. The Timeline game that you linked to is the one that I meant. I have played it with groups of 3-6 friends and it has been great fun each time we've tried it.
We typically play Ticket to Ride with 4 people which works out nicely. My friends have a German version of the game and it feels more fun to play that one for some reason.

Quite often I find myself with too much to do, then I shut down out of anxiety while the work continues to pile up, then I go on a "productivity binge" and work for like 36 hours straight, then crash, then repeat the whole miserable cycle all over again. I need to learn how to balance everything better, stat. I won't be able to function like this forever.

Because you get to annex Alsace-Loraine?

First night using a sleep aide. I'm nervous.

Yeah, that's pretty much why I called. I like emailing or texting back and forth in conversation, but for canceling an appointment and wanting to see if there was another opening this week a phone call works better.
I suppose I should be pleased with myself for overcoming my anxiety enough to do it. Listening to his voicemail message kinda spun me for a loop though. Especially the bit about calling 911 in the case of an emergency. I freaked out a bit, but then my son stepped up to the plate, creating perhaps one of the most unique distractions ever and I found myself fielding T's return call while trying to clean pee out of a modem and assure a miserable child with pink eye that I was fixing the Internet. In the end it required a trip to the mall for a new modem. Just as well really, because it stunk something horrid...
I had an Entertaining evening to say the least. Now if you'll all excuse me, there's a box of wine in my fridge calling my name.

I hope these issues will pass. My eldest daughter has cut herself off from her father. She is to be seen by an adolescent psych service. She did this at her own request. She doesn,t talk very much, but thats teen right?
My youngest is yet to start all this moodiness. Thanks for your response.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH.

Therapy.

That's all.

I feel you.

im thinking I will try AGAIN to maybe talk about talking in T . about if she thinks I will ever be able to talk about the things I want to or if it is even a good idea . or if she even wants to hear it .
I keep thinking that maybe I shouldn't be in T any more . I seem to be able to talk to people a bit easier . im doing things , I worry that I will blow things up if I don't go . I don't know

I can assure you your therapist is quite willing to hear what you have to say when you are ready to say it. You've come a LONG way over the last several years. Perhaps you thoughts about not being in therapy anymore is mostly the fear of talking about the really difficult things that scare you to speak about the most. Not going would take that problem out of the equation for you, but I agree with your own assessment that if you don't go, I suspect things would go backward for you. You are on the edge of doing the most difficult work, and that's terrifying. I know that feeling, but the only way out is through the fire sometimes.

thanks chris .your words give me some courage to do this. I want to know if she thinks even talking about my past will help at all and how . I think we may have had this conversation but I don't remember it well. I know what I read here about talking about your past and helping to not give the memories and stuff so much power and all. maybe she can explain it better.

Well said. I'm not even joking!

I think that is a good conversation to have. Different T's take different approaches to dealing with memories. My T's, particularly my current T, have all seemed to have the approach that dredging up memories just for the sake of dredging up memories can be retraumatizing, so he has great respect for doing so carefully and in very small bites, only when looking at the past is helpful to the present. Others have the philosophy that you have to go over and over your history multiple times (my T does NOT like that approach).

From what you've said about your therapist, she's been very careful to allow YOU do bring things up as YOU are ready and has not pushed you to do so before you were ready. I wonder if you interpret her not bringing things up herself as that she doesn't want to hear it when in actuality, she's trying to respect your need to do so at your own pace.

Who wants (needs!) coffee? I'll make a run.

Here's today's bus jam:


I'm digging the dire straits vibe of this song.

Yes. Coffee. So much coffee.

I could have some more coffee, or I could leave the office... and then I could either go straight to the bus, or I could make a stop at a café for some coffee. Hmm. Choices.

im off to buy some sneakers .mine seem to have gotten wet and now don't smell so great

I need coffee whoever does the coffee making here at work, sucks!! Bitter yuckiness! I might go see if I can find a k-cup from somebody and make my own cup, as opposed to the pot that is made.

In other news.. I am off to the allergist today because for the last three weeks I have been randomly breaking out in hives, if I don't take an antihistamine. Go figure, I have got none to show today. Also, I am afraid that they are going to ask to look at my arm.. the last time I cut was either two or three weeks ago- so they look recent, not like scars from a long time ago. I am also afraid when a physician sees them and am afraid of the line of questioning the I will get next.