Couch 92 Found my shoe

Thanks, Ellahmae. It's just, it's been, what, 12 hours or so since I woke up...

I understand, really - too well. Dreams are not my friend.

I don't think it's sad. It's a pretty normal thing for me to be affected by dreams. I've felt "off" for a couple days from particularly intense dreams; working with them usually helps me get back to normal.

I've got nightmares flaring up again. I mean, I usually have them, I just don't usually *feel* them or remember them in the morning. Blerg.

I go through periods of intense nightmares and it is not fun. I also hate it when sleep paralysis hits - I can go through bouts of that too. And even knowing what it is does not keep it from feeling awful.

I know right?

DBT has a nightmare protocol. I probably should have listened to my T when he offered to get me the info LOL. I thought I could push through. Oh well. I can ask for it next week. Or google. I guess there's google.

I cannot express my hatred for sleep paralysis. I never know when it will come or how long it will last or if it'll be repeated or a one of thing for the next little while. Knowing how it affects and what it is doesn't make it any less terrifying.

Sometimes I am reminded of high school/college flag football rivalries around here (for example we always had an english AP versus calculus AP football match or in college the woodwinds versus the brass in a band-off sort of thing).

Dont make me tell my "never seen chocolate turn white" story again!!

I told t this morning, he ALMOST had a despondent hankster but this guy on the bus and i just got to laughing so hard, my stomach was hurting.

(((Mast))) ?

Thanks, hankster.

Hankster - why were you almost despondent? And what chocolate story?

Mast - did something happen?

Despondent thinking about cousins bridal shower and bridal showers past. They were always lonely and horrible. I was thinking that t doesnt understand how horrible, but we talked about how thats me projecting onto him, my feeling stoopid about not realizing i was being duped.


Found it on couch 51:
*my favorite irl*chocolate*story - 3 or 4 chubbyish ladies at work, and one thin one, and the thin one says, "You know how*chocolate*gets that white coating on it when it gets old?..." and the rest of us LOOK at her and burst out laughing and we all go, "NO, WE DON'T!!*Chocolate*doesn't GET old in our house!!" I wonder what the rest of her story was??*

stopdog, yes, and thank you for asking. I can't discuss it at this moment, though - I am too furious and full of self-loathing. I need to go to bed and listen to something that makes me laugh, I think.

I am not skinny but chocolate/sugar is not my particular weakness in food stuffs. So my chocolate is often white. I was not paying attention one time and found a bag of hershey's kisses I had bought for a party in the spring and took it in for students around thanksgiving. They had a great time making fun of my pastel colored candy offering.

I don't like bridal/baby showers either. I just get bored.

Sorry to hear. I hope you find something amusing and can sleep without nightmares.

I know what you mean. Fortunately my renovations are over for the moment.

I'm feeling ... dissatisfied. Which is silly because everything is fine. Maybe I need a crisis to get my blood pumping again.

So i was looking around where to sit on the bus, and a bunch of people are sitting in the aisle seat with their junk next to them. Really not cool. So this big chubby black guy is sitting in the stroller area seat, but at least the aisle part is open, so i sit down. As i settle in, he goes, "oh youre fine", like i dont have to squish over. I go, "no, YOURE fine!" As in, you are fine! Then it was all downhill from there. Omg. We're chitchatting, and he goes, nice walking stick, and i go, its all i have left of my first husband. Oh - i didnt MAKE it out of him! Braid his hair for the cord... the guy is crackin up. These are all old jokes to me, but i had a new audience. I was like, your mama told you not to talk to strange ladies on the bus! He changed my mood for the whole day. I love the bus. I have always depended on the kindness of strangers!

CE - you could try joining in some of the other threads - it can get the heart rate up.

Hankster - I also enjoy new audiences for old jokes.

So I got on the wrong bus and didn't notice until it merged onto the highway. Had to get out in an entirely different part of the city, after sitting in 45 minutes of traffic on the highway. But there's a fancy schmancy beer store up here, so I spent an obscene amount of money on some local and imported beers! Now I'm on the bus heading back, stuck in traffic. Naturally.

See? No such thing as a bad bus!!

It's raining cats and dogs around here. We are a muddy mess. The good news though is that our lake is full for the first time in 3 years.

I sit here thinking I can actually see the grass growing while it is raining. I just mowed a few days ago and it needs it again.
Stupid grass. Ah for july when the grass will just be burned dry patches. Or a swamp. It is always a coin toss whether we will be drenched or droughted.

We've been in a drought for several years and the lakes have been VERY low, but it has been raining just about every day for a month now and we are completely saturated now. Glad our dead tree fell down in the ice storm a few months ago; it definitely would have fallen in this mush.

While I was in the midwest this week, I enjoyed seeing everything so green - so much grass - everyone's yards are grass! I knew that of course, but it's just so different from the desert (our yards are gravel/dirt/cacti and weeds) that I just couldn't stop staring at the vast expanses of green everywhere. I do not envy them for having to mow it, of course.

Our neighbor is a yard guy and does our yard dirt cheap. Thank goodness. I hate yard work.