Couch 92 Found my shoe

Ive been making cheese and salad herby greens quesadillas in the microwave.

I've been making tons of quesadillas lately, just on the stovetop. I haven't had time to do anything much more involved! And melted cheese is always a treat...

Well, I'm not sure I can phrase it coherently, but I'll try. I read a lot of threads on these boards where people make assertions that appear to be accepted as some kind of general truths. About relationships, and what relationships should be like, and what to expect from a partner, and so on. And I don't think I have ever really recognised any of those things - though that's probably a case of selective memory. I can say that there are many such things that I do not recognise. Note that I am not talking about what I might want from a r/s, or what might make me happy, or anything like that - that's a different kettle of frogs. I just don't live in a world where those things are possible or part of real life outside the realm of fiction.

I know that there is a real cultural difference here - in English (at least in Britain and the US) it is as a general rule much more acceptable to express oneself in absolutes, and to say things like "we want x, y and z from our lives" without actually meaning anything other than "I and my two best friends want x, y, and z from our lives, and I assume that some other people do, too". In Swedish, if you say "we want x", then you mean "people want x" and there is a very strong implication that if you don't want x, there is something wrong with you. (My best friend is driven crazy by this - he is from the US, and even after many years in Sweden he can't get used to the way Swedes tend to look at all sides equally, and avoid saying anything absolute. His therapist, who is English, has told him that it's a very common source of frustration for British and American expats in Sweden.)

There was a former member of PC who kept claiming that everybody in the world except for him had some kind of secret knowledge, and who kept asking and asking how he could acquire that knowledge... sometimes, I feel a little like that, too. I mean, I know that there is no conspiracy to keep me out of the loop, and in fact there is no loop, but it does feel, at times, like I'm missing some kind of essential organ.

Wall of text. Sorry.

Truth is subjective. I used to make a point of avoiding people who think in absolutes, because it would drive me nuts, but now that my boundaries have improved I find I'm much more comfortable around people with vastly different opinions from mine. It's just as well really, I was avoiding the whole world for fear of being triggered.

I give up.

[some serious TMI removed]

I can't recall ever liking myself. I was very unlikeable as a kid, especially to myself.

lol I stopdogged my T last week I think it was lol. not this week though . can you believe I freaking cried .god so dumb . I freaking cried . none of this is going to get better . thank god she ignored it and just moved on . so suck it up and nope I never cried lol

Is it garlicky? If so - it could be Toum a super addictive and delicious sauce which is garlic, olive oil and a bit of lemon juice. I can eat it on just about anything.

Toum - Garlic Sauce
Toum - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

No - I am still all jacked up about how much I hate mds and want to crush them all to keep them from controlling people.

I give up.

I sometimes wish I were not such a complete freak of nature.

Is it possible to be different without being a freak?

I made mac n cheese for dinner. Everybody else's grown-up dinners sound awesome...

I had an LSG/Rule 34 related discussion in T today. It was hilarious, but I have no idea what possessed me...

Theres gonna be a run on the dayglo orange stuff. They are discontinuing artificial color and flavor in the new year. I wonder if it will go the way of The New Coke.

Who's playing?

Watching Giants vs Dodgers right now.