[withit]

My friend just told me she takes her digital recorder with her to therapy and tapes each session. She hasn't told her to about it.....I was so surprised by it I wanted to post

[Perna]

That is surprising, especially that she didn't first discuss it with her T. I don't think her T will be happy about that, it's a breach of trust/honesty. I feel badly for her as I can't envision it going well, either the therapy or her telling her T ever (or not telling and having that "secret").

[MissCharlotte]

I would think that if someone wanted to tape sessions then a conversation with the t would be the appropriate starting point. Why is she taping? So she can remember details? Or does she not trust her T? If she doesn't trust T, then that should be a topic of discussion or she should consider asking for a referral to a different T. This feels counter productive to me.

[sidony]

Wow. How can she stand to do it without telling the therapist? I would feel like such a traitor if I did something secretive like that. The guilt would eat away at me.

I love my therapist's voice, but I doubt he'd want me to tape a session. I'm not even sure I would want to do that (I think I wouldn't) so I'll never ask. I suppose if I'm desperate to hear his voice I can call and listen to his answering machine. Usually I can make it to the next session though.

Ask your friend how she can stand to keep that secret! I'm curious!!!

Sidony

[SecretGarden]

Doing this without the knowledge of the T is like a major disconnect.

Whoa. I cannot even imagine doing something like that. A definite disconnect. I cannot imagine taking something as personal as T's voice and insights, home, and not telling him about it.

[withit]

So we're all having similar reactions.....I myself wasn't sure whether I was horrified or happy for her that she has it. She has told me that her previous to had told her it was ok to tape the sessions. She hasn't yet asked her current t.....she does it so she can review the sessions....she tends to space out during sessions....

[sunrise]

It would feel so dishonest to me to tape without my T's knowledge and permission. A real breach. An action that is not consistent with a strong and trusting therapeutic alliance. AAAACKK!

[OliviaC]

When I began seeing my psychologist, I mentioned taping, but then changed it to taking notes and she quickly agreed with me. I don't think you will find too many therapists who want sessions to be tape-recorded, IMO

[January]

I don't want to seem rude or judgemental, but I wonder if your friend is dishonest with her t in other ways.

Jan

[bipolar_bear]

I can't imagine not asking permission before taping anyones conversation let alone something as personal as a t session. At a minimum I would consider that a breach of trust. I am sorry that she has not been up front with her therapist.

BB

[withit]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
January said:
I don't want to seem rude or judgemental, but I wonder if your friend is dishonest with her t in other ways.

Jan

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

She doesn't seem to see it as something dishonest. She is using it to help her review the sessions.
BTW, she's more like an acquaintance than a friend. Funny, I'm remembering now how it all began...She's been betrayed by her previous t....long story....recently she began seeing another t and before going for her first session she called me to chat about what she would talk about in session. In passing, I said, gee, if your session was taped I could give you some feedback...
Though I think that her having been betrayed by her previous t has made her a bit untrusting....
And as I'm writing I'm remembering her former husband was quite an abusive personality, and there were many many instances where he said things and later denied having said them....he said he was going to throw her down the stairs, so she called the cops and when they came her husband denied having said anything....I think the idea to record stuff stems from having had so many experiences where her reality was denied. The recordings are a safety net for her. Once recorded, no denial.

[MissCharlotte]

It seems like there are huge trust issues here. I know it takes long time to develop trust in a therapeutic relationship. Your friend needs to discuss this with the t and allow the trust to develop over time.

The whole idea is emotional honesty. She might want to discontinue the taping and talk to her T about trust. It can take a lot of talking about trust and during the talking about it... voila... trust may begin to build.

[SecretGarden]

It sounds like this individual does indeed have some trust issues. By virtue of making you aware of this she has let you in a bit to her trust zone. This is a compliment.

You have gotten many comments here about the recording being something that we would not do without the T's approval. That is also something that speaks of trust and openness. I think that she can be gently told, if you care to go there, that she might wish to discuss this with her T. You may encourage this.

In a gentle way the trust she has for you and your opinion may be helpful to the trust she is developing in therapy.

Just a random thought early this morn.

[Calm]

With my previous therapist and current therapist, I have recorded our sessions. I only did so after receiving their permission and explaining to them my need for it. In my situation, it wasn't a trust issue for me but a tool to use to help me process my sessions afterwards. I experienced a huge problem with remembering our conversations in the sessions which left me feeling quite frustrated and scrambled. The recordings helped a lot. I was able to go back, listen and process the material that was discussed. With my current therapist, I stopped recording the sessions a long time ago mainly as a test to see if I had progressed in my ability to recall our therapy dialogue. There was improvement but I still have difficulty at times remembering some of our conversations during sessions.

I, for one, would not appreciate being recorded or videotaped without my consent and believe a therapist should be given the same respect. Overall, taping sessions can be a very helpful therapeutic tool for a client.

[Perna]

If you talk to your acquaintance about this, you might suggest, if she wants to get back on an even keel to take and give the tape to her T? At least not keeping the tape would help a little in the equation of taping without permission in the first place.

I don't know that the T will be "worried" or anything were she to learn she'd been taped; I doubt she feels her words can be "used against her" or anything, it's mostly just a trust/politeness issue. I would think she'd be angry (which might be misunderstood) but I think it's more the surprise and unexpectedness that is hurtful.

I know lots of people who save PM's and e-mails, etc. and the people sending them don't realize it nor do the people who save such things think anything about saving them but it's a similar issue. It's not being given the opportunity to decide how you feel about the other person "keeping" your words that makes the differerce, not necessarily the words themselves.

[allthegirls6]

This whole thing just seems so very wrong. If it was the other way around im sure it would be illegal