female T's

Interesting. I have good relationships with both my mother and my father. My earliest abuse was at the hands of a married couple working in tandem (not relatives), so I could theoretically be just as uncomfortable with both sexes. I am 51. My earliest therapy was when I was in college and was with a male therapist so I've always been quite comfortable with male therapists regardless of my age. I was quite open to trying female therapists (gender really didn't matter to me until after so many crappy experiences with female therapists).

I don't really have the luxury of picking either. I drive an hour to see the only therapist I can and that therapist is a woman. My ex-therapist was male and I thought I could only see male therapists, but he hurt me very badly. Then I saw another male therapist and he was a much better therapist. The woman I see now is great though. Not too much disclosure and she doesn't seem overly sympathetic. There are so many different types of personalities within both sexes that I can't imagine now just declaring I would only see one or the other.

Since the reason I went to therapy was because of an obsessive MET for a woman (and this was not the first time), I specifically looked for a male T. I didn't want to have MET for my T...I have enough problems with the MET I already have. I feel like I made the right decision.

No, male Ts can come across just as 'fake'.

This. My first T was a man who was very preachy and new-agey, with advice for eliminating free radicals from my diet (as that was certainly why I was suffering from major depression) who then informed me he couldn't see me because I wasn't "sick enough" and wished me bright blessings as he showed me the door.

2nd T was female, younger than me, fashion plate and stunningly beautiful. I was so intimidated in her presence I was mute.

3rd T was female, very cold/rude, spoke in curt tones, and seemed dismissive.

4th T is female, exudes quiet serenity, speaks rarely but chooses words wisely, doesn't cross my boundaries on touch or empathy/saccharine fake sympathy, and is very easy to open up to/not intimidating or judgmental.

5th T in July of this year could be anyone, hopefully more similar to 4 than 1, ,2, or 3. I don't have a choice of who I'm assigned, but I can (and do!) request transfers if necessary.

I don't really have a gender bias for medical staff, my OBGYN is male and his backup is female, both are great! My family doc is male, kids pediatrician female, ortho male, PT female, dentist male, eye doctor female, on and on. I tend more towards reserving judgment until after the first appointment, at which point it is easy for me to decide "this is someone I can work with" or "no way, not in this lifetime."

Interesting discussion !

My current T is male, but I had males and females T.

I realized that the major problem of T's were their inability to understand discrimination/harassment or seeing everything I have under the psychological perspective, even when I clearly had a somatic complaint (a T insisting about shortness of breath being psychological while it was a symptom of pericarditis).

My ex-T was a female, and even when her diagnosis of PTSD was correct, she was absolutely unable to treat it.
The being victim of discrimination was something she was not equipped to deal with. However, I had to worm the information out of her because she was really reluctant to tell me she was ill-equipped for this problem.

The male T I saw after : same pattern. I left him after two sessions to save my sanity.

Both of them had the perspective about discrimination : "if you had been victim of discrimination, you must be the cause of it".

My GP is female, my ENT doc is male, my neurologist is female, and both pdoc and tdoc are males.
However, I could be comfortable enough to see GP males only after High School.

When I had my medical exam for driving licence with a commission of two approved GPs at 18yo, the male GP was the examiner while the female GP was taking notes. I had to be there because of my hearing loss.
I felt horribly uncomfortable to be examined by a male. The setting added much discomfort to an uncomfortable situation : the high-stake situation of medical fitness to drive, being in underwear only, the place was like a time machine and having had to give up a good sleepy morning for the first day of summer holidays.
The place was like a photo of the seventies or eighties : old brown leatherette chairs, a Formica table, the white and brown tiling, white-yellowish painting, you see the gist of it !

I could be comfortable seeing a male GP only years after that medical exam !

I prefer female ts. I connect better with women, I feel an affinity and understanding of it's like to be female in our society. And, not that it necessarily is related to male or female ts, I prefer an empathic and understanding ear - a warma and gentle soul over a distant and cold one.

I have an emotional, supportive male T. I was intrigued by the concept of internal misogyny, as i am one who prefers male therapists. After much consideration, I believe my preference stems from my relationship with my mother. My parentification instinct with women is SO high that I'm not yet ready to consider getting therapeutic support from a woman. Maybe later, after I do some more work. I still struggle quite a bit with accepting help from my male T. Baby steps, i guess.

Yes, until I worked with a female T and worked through my mother issues.

Random but this reminds me of why people chose male vs female gynecologists.

For me: similar but different. For OB/GYN's, I get the image of the scene from the movie Hand That Rocks the Cradle. So yeah. For that reason I stick with females

Well, that and other reasons.

I've had female Ts I liked, female Ts I did not, as well as male Ts I liked, male Ts I did not.

Honestly I haven't been able to find any patterns in male T vs. female T behavior/attitudes.

My current male T is great. The only thing I have found him lacking understanding in is body image/weight issues and dieting, etc. I wondered if this had anything to do with him being male, but I suspect it's a combination of things.

I'm a female and I refuse to see a female T. I don't trust them.

I found that in general male T's work best for me but I don't care who gives me a gyn exam as long as they make it as quick and painless as possible.

I prefer ob/gyns with small hands And I speak from experience when I say that doesn't necessarily mean female!

I don't usually go to any md but if I do, I always choose to see a female one. Also female dentists, accountants, and eye drs.
I will hire any gender plumber or electrician who I believe will not flood my house or burn it down.

I've seen 5 female Ts and no males. I always thought it would be too distracting to have a male T because I would be attracted to him. I didn't know anything about ET then, and learned it could happen with women Ts too.

I also chose women because I knew I could never talk about sex and physiological issues with a man. It's hard enough with a woman!

I've seen mostly female Ts. It used to be because men intimidated me but now I don't know, I'd consider a male T just to see what it was like.

I'm the opposite. I will only see female professionals. Female T, PCP and Pdoc. I have such a bad history with men and when I am in the hospital and a male doctor touches me it almost makes me sick. I've had very bad experiences with females too (mostly my mother) but generally I find the female professionals to be more comforting and compassionate.

The very first t I tried many, many years ago was male, and a big jerkwad, and I walked out on him during the first appointment. T2 was female, although I didn't have any success with her either, at least my attempt with her lasted longer than one session, a few months maybe? I don't think either of them had anything to do with why I refused any of the male t's my pdoc tried to refer me to, I really think it was because I was afraid of men pretty much. And possibly (?) very subconsciously, I may have known I had deep-seated "mother issues".... Or maybe it was just the compassion I saw in my t's face just in her picture on psychologytoday.com? I dunno. But after I started talking with her, I knew pretty quickly that there was no WAY I would open up to a man the way I did to her.

I deal much better with male therapists. I have not had good experiences with female therapists. I am distrustful of other women due to my relationships with my mother and sisters, and the female Ts I saw did nothing to help my issues with women. They were either erratic, did not understand me because I did not fit their gender stereotypes, or simply did not take me seriously because I am quite funny. One yelled at me over something I said to my husband. I have met male therapists who did not suit me either, but the only ones I have found who did work for me were male.

I prefer a female therapist because I don't have a mom and I find it healing to have a T who feels "maternal" to me. I do not, however, confuse maternal with overly sentimental or saccharine. My T Is the opposite of the "gushy" stereotype that some posters seem to associate with female T's. My T is 20 years older than I am and she has kids so she understands what I'm missing-- but she is also very direct, straight forward, honest and authentic. I also will only Ts who are LGBT because that is a part of my life I need my T to understand on a personal level. I need a T who "gets it" and I need my therapy to be a place where I don't always feel "different" and have to explain myself. I get that enough in every other aspect of my life; I don't need it in therapy, too.

Outside of therapy, I relate equally well to all genders. My friends are pretty diverse and I have a wide circle of male and female friends as well as straight and LGBT friends. My preferences are specific to therapy, and they are entirely about my needs and what makes me feel comfortable. I do not believe in perpetuating stereotypes or making gendered assumptions. I agree 100% with stopdog' post. I find it both problematic and offensive when people make broad assumptions about how women are and how men are, or how lesbians are and how straight women are. Those statements reveal nothing about women/men/gay/straight people; they only tell you about the person making the statement. I encounter quite a bit of internalized misogyny and homophobia from people around me, and I think we could go a long way towards living in a better world if people would simply stop making stereotypical assumptions and, instead, get to know people as individuals.

None of the 4 female therapists I have seen over my lifetime have been gushy.
The only therapist I ever even met who came close to gushy was a male - a sensitive touchy feely I am so hip and caring sort of guy. I despised him within seconds.

The first one I see now brings to mind the term ice queen.

I much prefer male Ts but its just a matter of personal comfort. I dont think i would get along well with a woman therapist. I've had several traumatic experiences involving women older than me so that plays into it. I'm trans and i identify more with males anyway...

I see female t. Last one was a woman too

. I generally am very neutral in terms of gender in many aspects of my life. My ob/gyns are always men so is always GP, dentist is a woman a referral from a friend many years ago so gender wasn't a matter, hairstylist is a woman but one for many years before was a man etc

i did want female t though. But would go for a man if I knew he was good

"Gushy" lol mine isn't and previous wasn't either

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