[lightcatcher]

Hi all, it's been a while!

I'm just wondering if people have shared some of their stories of trauma with their T, to look up and see their face in shock? What did you do, and how did it make you feel?

LC

[Elkino]

It happened quite a few times to me. I always felt 'weird' (in a bad way), because I could talk about it without showing too many emotions... while someone who didn't even witness it was shocked by it. On the other hand, I learned that this expression also, in a way, shows compassion and understanding. But for me, getting that part, seems to work better when I'm having difficulties with telling the stories myself.

So, how did it go for you? How did your T react? And what was your reaction to that?

[ThingWithFeathers]

I haven't spoken much about all of it, but I have spoken a tiny little bit. My t looked mostly sad, empathic and with genuine understanding of what was being said and how I was feeling talking about it. She has been slightly 'surprised' once or twice, and openly acknowledged her reaction of being somewhat ataken back about something I'd said that someone else had done or said (something completely absurd - because sometimes abusive things can be totally absurd). And those times we've laughed and laughed about it, and her inability to respond, together with complete understanding of the humourous nature of the moment. I'm not sure how I would respond to complete shock on the t's part, it depends how it was handled.

yes... many times.

[Soccer mom]

Originally Posted by Elkino

I could talk about it without showing too many emotions... while someone who didn't even witness it was shocked by it.

This has happened to me a lot. I will tell someone something about my childhood and their reaction seems overboard. Then, I realize that I have desynsitized myself or distanced myself from the emotions. Or, I'm just "used to it" which then makes me sad.

It actually happened last night as I was talking to a friend about something. Sometimes I'll think why should I go to therapy when I can function fine. But, I'll have one of these moments and think I guess I need to talk about some of this crazy stuff.

No not shock. T has heard it all. But, sadness and emphapy, yes.

Thank goodness, no. That would have really bothered me. At the time, my T's have been attentive, responsive, etc., but not in a shocked way. They kept whatever they were feeling under control. Now, at other times when we've talked and it was in reflection of those revelations, they have told me what they thought about what had happened to me, and that was okay because it wasn't in the intensity of the moment.

[Suraya]

I've always thought it was a look on T's face for show - like she's trained to put on a look to show empathy and such because we've never experienced it or something. I don't know - sometimes it just seems so overboard to me. Maybe because I do tell my stories without much emotion and then she seems to make a big deal out of them.

[Coco3]

No never. I think my T has heard it all.

[lightcatcher]

Thank you for all sharing!
Elkino you asked
So, how did it go for you? How did your T react? And what was your reaction to that?

I know I often talk about my past without much emotion and I have found myself telling T something and then I say "yea that sounds ****ed up" and T would kinda chuckle and agree.
This time I was just getting it all out and then looked up and T had this shocked/horrified look on their face. I said without thinking "oh your face" lol. T was very good, T and I have a strong relationship and I know that there is deep care for me. I didn't feel judged etc.
I did feel weird - like these events seemed normal (they are not normal) in my life, but T was reacting like they were not normal.
I guess the relationship with T, and their care for me, and their reaction made me sad. Sad that of all the people in my lifetime it is T that cares the most.
Then there is the confrontation of my own self - that these events were not normal, they were horrible and cruel. If I am to accept that line of thinking, which T demonstrated, I have to then feel the feelings of it.

T and I talked about their reaction to it. T said that they usually can't contain their own emotions but sometimes it comes out, and it comes out of the empathy and care part.

I guess it's just weird to see someone react to something in your life you have come to file away as normalish.

[tinyrabbit]

I sometimes think I see things on my T's face that aren't actually there. I've found it helps to check it out with him.