Something else about my last session

Yes I have talked about the concept of the hormone with them. I do not look at them much and certainly I do not stare into their eyes.

My therapist and I would, countless times over the years, silently stare into each others eyes.

It was silent communication of affection, trust, truth, warmth, pain and an incredibly warm bonding. She knew me and we connected on a very deep level. Far more than I ever experienced with my own Mother.

I am the primary caregiver for my 94 year old Mom. I take care of all her needs. But, for me, it is an obligation, a responsibility. Not an emotional connection.

Thanks, Soccer mom. Unlike you, I get jealous of other people too, and I often wish I had what they have. It's more extreme with my T, though. When I saw that she had more than 50 likes for her photo on FB, I wanted that for myself! I can only get about 15, even with pictures of my grandkids! I know it's silly, and it's because a lot of my FB friends and relatives are irregular FB users. T says she goes on FB about once a year so maybe everyone was glad to see her photo. It just triggers my not being popular during my childhood. Old stuff, ya know.

It's not the same with my H, either. If oxytocin rises with bonding with a dog......LOL.

Stopdog, what did your T say about oxytocin?
Gavinandnikki, I don't remember bonding with my Mom like that either. I'm sorry you don't feel anything for your Mom. It's commendable that you're taking care of her anyway.

Rainbow8; Quote: "T knows about that(transference) but there's nothing more to say". I would say that unless you're doing short-term, pop-psychology therapy, there is a lot more to say in the Transference, way more! It's actually what therapy is about, and is the source of the strong, confusing emotions. But there's so much fear in it from your inner child's problems or your past difficult relationships, that the unconscious throws up every detour it can to get you and T off track. I hope you will stay, as it sounds like the therapy relationship is getting itself going. And talk about it as much as you can even though it's nervewracking.

Another thing....it happens that my T is a deadringer for an actress some time back (i'm afraid to say, as she might read this...crikes!) Not one of those sexbomb types but a good dresser and always good to watch. With a lot of guilt lurking, I looked up a movie she (the look-a-like actress) was in on TV, and was totally awed by my little-girl love for her. Anyway, in the movie, she got in a cat fight with another nasty female, and after seeing that I felt like crying for days afterward.I couldn't cope with my mommy figure getting so mean. Really....I don't know if that was a good idea for someone like me in deep therapy. I've never read or heard about patients watching movies where they identify with the T they are in transference with. It doesn't sound like a safe idea, but I'll probably do it again.

Thanks. Restin. I posted that there's nothing more to say about the transference because my T and I have discussed it for 5 years! We used to do IFS, parts work, so we talked a lot about my different parts who had feelings for her. We still talk about it when it comes up, if I want to. I didn't see the point of telling her last week. More honestly, I think it was that I thought I was " over" the attraction to her so I wanted to ignore it. We've talked enough about it: wanting her to be my mother, friend, and partner. Are they sexual feelings or not? Etc. But you're probably right. I had a crummy session anyway, so I should have told her. She may have known when I said "You look good."