"Manipulative" ~ WARNING: Strongly candid posts within

I am so sorry your son had to deal with that. I really am. I don't really have words to express how sorry I am. I can't imagine what that would be like.

You are right. (Read this as sarcasm). I use the word manipulative to describe my husband of 28 years, the father of my three children, the love of my life, the man who I have stood by through thick and thin, because I "can't be bothered thinking about [his] problems any more," and I "want to write [him] him off in a way that will make other people suspicious of [him]." My use of those terms as descriptors clearly tell you all about me.

( end of sarcasm). Your use of your words is offensive to someone who has worked patiently and tirelessly to remain supportive and understanding in the face of those kinds of behaviors. I have written off no one. You may or may not have meant to point those words at me, but they were stated as absolutes without exception rather than your personal experience or possibilities, so I am bringing to your attention the fact that your broad statement is not universally true.

I don't think I have ever been called manipulative by a T. but I have been called the M word by less educated house staff in the residential program I was in . it semed to be the standard go to response to unwelcomed behavior.

Was brought up earlier in the thread and yes Suicide can be used as a form of manipulation, especially if used repeatedly. refer that person to Emergency if there a boyfriend or friend best to end that relationship or stop contact and, if there family member or friends set form boundaries and limit contact. Someone who uses that to control you is sadistic.

And real people in distressed and who are ACTUALLY suicidal can get over looked.

I agree calling some manipulative may not be good, but you can point out to someone that their BEHAVIOUR is, people with good intentions can have manipulative behaviour (that they learned growing up) that could end of being very detrimental for them because that's not a healthy was to communicate you needs or interact with others.

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Does manipulation come from the intent of the actor or the perception by the other? It seems a tendency to place the focus on the perception of the other when dealing with clients (oh that behavior of the client felt manipulative to me and so client is manipulative) and the intent of the actor when looking at therapists (oh it is not manipulation because the therapist intended X and they are such good caring professionals it is mean and wrong to call it manipulation)