Pointless things the therapist says

Omg... I thought it would be apparent that I was joking. I am Really sorry. I enjoy you a great deal Stopdog and feel bad that my attempt to be silly failed.

Stopdog.. I have the greatest respect for you and even if I could, I wouldn't want a single thing about you to change. I was trying to make a joke based on the annoyance you express when some people imply that your Stopdog-way of doing therapy is the *wrong* way to do it.

Not that you need my approval or validation or anything

I suspect stopdog was joking too. Her sense of humour is as dry as California.

She generally knows when she is being teased.

Then she *got* me.. because I'm just freaking out over here!

Omg.. I need my therapist.

OK... so my new response to this isssss:

I feel so misunderstood.

There, There.

No worries.

Whew! I guess I can cancel that emergency apt I made.

Honestly, any time that her response showed she didn't quite understand what I was saying, it was still at least in the same city if not the same ballpark, so I figured it was just me who didn't explain it well enough. She never responded with anything that was SO far off that it seemed she wasn't listening. I'm not so good at explaining myself verbally... sometimes I have to try a few times to get to what I mean to say!

Ridiculous! Mine is an immigrant same as me so she thinks she can relate to everything I ever experience or makes generalized comments that are stereotypical in nature.

It is a stupid assumption that everyone who has moved or even immigrated had same exact experience.

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For real. I thought stopdog is a male. Am I wrong? I often times don't know poster's gender as I typically read posts and reply very distracted by ten different things. I am "gender blind". Lol

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She's a she.

And one of our most interesting folks here.

Thanks, I think that what my T said was a bit ridiculous on a number of accounts. I did think that that T tried to understand me through her own experiences rather than probing me to explain myself.

I know stopdog's posts and enjoy them as well even when we disagree but assumed she is a he lol then I often think he is a she and so on, I don't pay much attention to gender in real life either and often make mistakes assuming people are of wrong gender, don't know what's that's about.

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I mean, how often are you in a situation where you and another person are so invested in understanding each other?

How does it serve you to see your t as an adversary who cant or wont understand you? That to me is just acting out your transference, treating them as a not good enough parent. Quite frankly tho, i had to hit bottom, and remind myself of being there, in order to accept my t's help. There was a part of me that didnt want the combination of me and my t to succeed. It was easier when we watched cartoons - is t the angelic you or the devilish you on your shoulder?

How does it help to not admit or refuse to point out to those people when they fail or refuse to understand you?,the fault is not always with the client and not always (or in my opinion even often) because of transference. Sometimes it really is because the therapist is just wrong.

And I am very pften in a situation where I am invested in the other person understanding me in both court and the classroom.

I know when my ex Thera said pointless things she was trying to be helpful. I became very good at speaking up and letting her know she felled miserably. In the beginning I was hesitant and afraid to contradict, then boldly, but also letting her know she was a dolt at the same time for speaking such nonsense. Then I went back to listening politely, but with a voice that said, "Thank you but you missed the boat."

She has shared with me as a friend that I am very direct after another friend responded in a way that I did not understand. She on the other hand likes my directness. It's a fine line we walk on here and in real life.

I didnt say the t is not wrong. I said i do not treat the t as an adversary. I dont characterize things my t says as pointless - i wouldnt say that about someone who is trying to help me.

As for your 2nd point, i find it much easier to relate facts than express my feelings, so i dont think my communication in t compares to communication in a classroom or a courtroom.

Perhaps the one you see is trying to help you.

I do not see the one I pay as being in that position. I do not view her as trying to help me. She may have knowledge I can use and she may be useful to sit there and act as the other human in the room when I say things, but she is not harmless or innocuous or trustworthy.

I do not just teach or argue facts.

And I find even people I love (the therapist is not amongst them) and I know love me (again - not the therapist) say pointless things all the time. The difference is I am paying the therapist to not say them.

What I wonder about is why pay someone who is not that good. Nobody is perfect and even a great therapist might be doing something dumb once in awhile, but this sounds like she's been saying nonsense quite a lot. I understand putting up with people who say nonsense because we either love them or they are our family or it is our career etc but I don't understand repeatedly putting up with dumb comments from folks whom I hired!

I would give it time and then reconsider or maybe just tell her that there is no point in her comments. I am currently not seeing mine as she started saying nonsense, I am too busy to address it right now but am debating if I should look for a different t or see if this one can stop saying nonsense.

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I am not looking for advice on what I should do.

This thread is being closed at the OP's request.