[Lexi232]

They ask if i SI, if I say no, then i'm lieing... if I say yes, they want me to show them... then when i show them they say I'm doing it for attention... If I dont show them then i'll be told that i'm a lier... What am I suposed to do? It's not for attention... I would rather keep it secret than to show it.
But then... If I keep it too much of a secret, I will never find that bit of info that I need... that will teach me how to cope otherwise..

Lexi, if I may ask, who are "they"? Family members? Doctors? And you are right... if you don't talk about your SI with someone, you may not learn other ways to cope. I just started talking about my SI with my therapist-- after 2 years of seeing him. Are you talking to anyone about it?

[Hopefull]

I don't think a T should be saying that you are doing it for attention unless he/she has a good reason. Is it a T that said that to you? Is it your family? If so, then it could be that they don't know how to deal with your behavior. Is it a guidance counselor? I don't think guidance counselors tend to know what to do it that situation. I hope you find someone that can deal with your behavior in a calm and safe manner for you to talk to and help you work through it. Good luck.

[sunrise]

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if I say yes, they want me to show them

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That is so untrusting. Is it your therapist who is wanting you to show her? Why wouldn't she trust you if you said "yes"? Why does she actually have to view the cuts herself? I would ask her that next time. Sounds like she has trust issues. Usually it is the client with the trust issues. I'm so sorry you're going through this. My own experience with SI was that I wanted to keep it very, very secret. It would have been torture for me to have been forced to reveal it to someone, and then to have them slap me in the face by saying I was doing it for attention--they couldn't get much further off the mark than that. I see your dilemma. It sounds to me like the people who are supposed to be trying to help you don't really know what they're doing. Can you share with your therapist your message here? To make her understand better? And ask her not to demand you show your wounds? That's so demeaning. Just not healing at all. ((((Hugs))))

sunny

[Rapunzel]

I would guess when they ask to see it, they want to assess how serious it is. The comment about doing it for attention is really invalidating though. Therapists are becoming more educated about self-injury now, but unfortunately they don't all know how to work with it effectively.

Maybe you could ask to talk about all of the possible reasons why you SI? Usually there are several. You could go in with a list of reasons why people do it, and mark the ones that you feel apply to you.

aw. everybody needs a little attention sometimes, there ain't nuthin wrong with that :-(

you should tell them 'well, if i was doing it primarily for attention i wouldn't be so reluctant / ashamed to tell / show you now - would i???'

(stoopid peoples)

EMOTION REGULATION. tell them to go read up on endorphins ;-)

[RACEKA]

When I told my T about the cutting he asked if he could see it. I showed him. He only wanted to see how bad it was. Then he told the dangers of it. In sessions after that he only asked me if I cut, and if I did he wanted to know how much. He never asked to see them again. Sometimes I voluntarily showed him. I want him to help me.

[Lexi232]

To:

Pinksoil: they is mostly my T, and then my Pdoc, and then my parents.. but mostly my T. And wow, i've not even seen this one for 2 years yet... I've only seen him for about 2 months, then we took a break until just last week. And I sorta brought up it last week with my T... and he wanted to see... Then my parents re-found out about it today, because we went to the doctor today (a bad reaction to one of my meds) and she was like "let me see your arm" after the doctor left the room. T_T

Hopefull: Thanks ya all of the above. lol.. but I will never go and talk to my guidance counselour ever again.. about 5 months ago she did the "show me, roll up your sleeve! dont make me get the nurse in here!" bit.

Sunrise: ^.^ That's a very good idea I can show him this post ^.^ Thank you so much. and ((((hugs)))) ^_^
I'm wondering if they dont trust me because of how I look as I'm saying it... or how I say it... because I usually have gotten used to holding all my emotions in, so I could basically tell my who life story with no tears, and not even looking like it hurts... Perhaps that was my copeing with the T tearing through me with questions about my life, since a very young age.

Rapunzel: hmm.. true... I've never thought about it that way (that he might just be trying to see how bad it is)... I'll try that also thanks

RACEKA: hm, this is the second time my T has asked... I hope he'll help you I know exactly how it feels to want to get help.

(((((((((((((HUGS ALL)))))))))))))))))))
Thanks so much, ( in case you couldn't guess, I just went down and replied to all of them as I read the replies)

[lauren_helene]

I'm sorry Lexi about how you feel about their questions. I agree that no one should be concluding on 'why' you SI. Making someone feel bad in any way about any emotion, feeling or behavior is going to be counter-productive.

It doesn't matter who does this, it will have the same result.

This is partly why I haven't mention my SI to my T. I only did it the one time a few weeks ago...

[Lexi232]

*notices that you live in Houston Tx*
^.^ I used to live near there... ^^;; weeeell... like 3 hours from there... unless you count my dad's which I stayed during the past summer at... and that was about 30 to 45 mins from Houston.

And thanks
May I ask how did your T respond to it? (u dont have to answer, I was just getting curious)

[lauren_helene]

I haven't mentioned it...so I don't know how he'd respond...

[Lexi232]

*blushes and smacks self in the face*
Sorry, my meds are messing up with how i'm reading things.

I think if it gets brought up again I will just use the suggestion of why would i be so reluclent to show you if i wantd attention.

I'm not too fond of being in the spotlight.