[ClaireB]

Okay, here's my problem. Four years ago I was seeing a psychiatrist for recurrent depression. Apparently the psychiatrist was interested in more than therapy because he pursued me outside of the office. We began an intimate relationship, and things quickly went from bad to worse. He told me he was divorced, but he wasn't. It was awful. I finally confided in my therapist who promptly turned him to the state medical board and the district attorney's office. I refused to testify against him because I felt that he had not forced me to do anything against my will. I still feel a tremendous amount of guilt for the fact I did not testify and he is still in a position where he is treating women who are vulnerable (and probably hurting them also).

I moved away, and still have a lot of unresolved issues. My previous therapist had treated people who have been through this situation and knew the things to say (and what not to say). I have tried to find a therapist where I live but I don't trust them. I walked in to one office and the therapist started talking to me about trust, and I never went back. Obviously, after what I've been through I will not be seeing a male therapist, but I have a difficult time even seeing a female therapist. How do I go about finding a therapist who has experience treating people who have been in abusive relationships with previous therapists/physicians?

[MissCharlotte]

(((Claire)))

How about calling the therapist you did trust and asking his help in finding a reputable T in your new town? He probably has a network that he can access to find someone who has a similar approach and is trustworthy. Just a thought...

Personal recommendations are better than going through the phone book or insurance company, IMO.

[lauren_helene]

Claire, you can also check out your states website. In Texas, they keep a list of all suspended, revoked licensees and the reasons why.

It won't list anyone who had a claim against them that was dropped or unproven. Just the facts.

I'm sorry your trust was demolished but there is hope.

[ClaireB]

Sister, thank you so much for responding. I asked my previous therapist and she doesn't know anyone in the city where I live now. I think I'm just really afraid that I'm going to choose badly again, and I can't take another situation like that.

[ClaireB]

Almeda, I actually live in Texas myself. I have looked people up on the Board's website to see if there's any action against them, but I know that's not fool proof (because my former psychiatrist comes back clean--and that's because I'm a coward and didn't have the guts to testify). I worry that people won't want to work with me, or maybe they won't believe me. I really don't know where to turn.

[Rapunzel]

You can check their background and history, and that helps. I think eventually it comes down to you knowing what is appropriate or inappropriate, and knowing what you will say or do if you suspect a T of being inappropriate. It probably won't happen to you again, but even if you do get someone who tries something that isn't right, you know now that it would hurt you to permit it, and you have the strength to put an end to it before it starts, and get help someplace else. I guess you have to work on trusting yourself.

Rap

[ClaireB]

Rapunzel, I understand what you're saying but it's just not so black and white in the beginning. I do recognize what is appropriate and inappropriate. But, if a person doesn't trust their therapist, of course they won't get hurt, but they don't get anything out of therapy either. The problem is when you're being treated by a sociopath who knows your vulnerabilities, then the potential to be manipulated is very high. I wish that he had just invited me to dinner or hit on me in an obvious way when I first started seeing him, but it doesn't happen that way. It's not that blatant. It started with him talking to me about trust, and then slowly and methodically chipping away at the boundaries. Those who do this are very, very good at it. By the time they make their move, it's already too late - the patient already trusts them. I now understand why they've made this illegal in many states, it completely and totally messes up a person's head.

[sunrise]

Claire, I'm so sorry you went through that awful experience with your pdoc.

Claire, you underwent a form of abuse, so a therapist specializing in abuse might be a starting point. Could you ask your regular doctor for recommendations?

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I now understand why they've made this illegal in many states

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Isn't it illegal in all states for therapists to have sex with their clients? Well, maybe "illegal" is not quite the right term, but the T can lose his license for that everywhere, I think.

Good luck, Claire.

[ClaireB]

Sunrise, thank you for your kind words. I'm not giving up. I will not let him ruin my life any longer. I know part of healing is going to involve finding a way to trust another mental health professional, which will not be easy. I've been given some names (from another kind member on this board) and made a phone call today - a very nervous phone call. We'll see where things go from here.

You had asked if it was illegal in all states. From what I understand it's against their code of ethics in all states (they can lose their license to practice- although most of the time they don't the first time. They just get sent to impaired professional camp, pay a fine, maybe have to have a chaperone present when seeing female patients, and get their name in the newsletter,etc.). However, it's not a criminal matter in all states, if that makes sense. In my state (Texas) it's both unethical and illegal (as in he could have been arrested and been charged with sexual assault - that rarely happens, though).