Couch 94 - Blowtorches R' Us

Yes, I have felt like that. In fact, I think I did throw a bit of a tantrum on the couch last night. That was when T had quoted another client in my session, and I immediately leapt to the conclusion that he would have preferred her to be there rather than me, and he probably doesn't like me, and waah, my therapist hates me, and all of a sudden I am a mastodon calf.

I completely get the feelings of jealousy.

Ah. I asked because the one I see has said people come back and check in with her all the time even when not regular clients. But not if it would not be useful.

Yes, I pretty much had a tantrum on here recently when it looked like I wasn't going to be able to see my t while she's in town, because of not being able to get off work. My inner 15 year old was stomping all over the place mad and I felt all riled up and sad both. (Of course y'all know that I came home at lunch and called out sick the rest of the day and went and spent time with her and I am so glad I did!) I'm sorry you're having a rough time with your friend seeing your t. Be gentle with yourself (and your little child part)....

I remember the jealous feeling - when I still saw her in person, one day I walked into the waiting room and saw a clipboard with an intake form and business card on the table, t's business card, and I wanted to rip it to shreds and stomp it to bits on the floor yelling "No! My t! My t!" of course I didn't. I don't think I ever told her that.

Mastodon and Artemis, thank you for sharing. It makes me feel less stupid about feeling that way

By the way Artemis, I'm so happy for you that you finally got to see her again in person!

So I have a 28 year history of eating disorders. It's one of the reasons I'm in therapy. Today my T decided to make a poorly thought out comment about how my belly looked in the super clingy cooling fabric tank top I had on ( usually I would have a scrub shirt on over it but I got really smelly horse medicine on my scrub shirt before my session so eveN though I felt exposed I left my scrub shirt in the car so i wouldn't stink up her office)...my normally smart, attuned, sensitive T said some ridiculously inappropriate to say to someone with a complex eating disorder. I dissociated immediately and tried to bolt. She talked me into staying but all I remember is the loud wasp like buzzing in my head. I know I hurt her feelings because we usually hug at the end of session and I said I didn't want to be touched because I felt too disgusting. I'm not upset with her exactly. It was a dumb thing to say but we are also very unguarded with each other. But my head is full of wasp buzzing and i feel like there is slime on my skin and I have to get through a day of farm calls when I feel like I'm not even really here.
Plus our raccoon is still missing. Bad day. I will probably end up doing something self destructive tonight.

Baybrony - ive had that buzzing. Not for the same thing, but where-tf does that buzzing come from?? And the atmosphere gets all ion-y and shiny.

Mast - oh no he di'n't! Thats it, im speechless. And you know THAT never happens. Unless imcalled upon to say something polite to somebody.

Exactly. I suddenly feel like I am in a badly digitized movie.

I've gotten that buzzing thing too - and the world looks like too much plastic surgery and dyed hair on an aging actor... What on Earth is it exactly??

I'm sorry Brony

Come on Brony's raccoon, get your furry butt home already, Momma is worried sick!

It was memorial day weekend when my cat went catting around too.

I don't get the buzzing thing but the white noise machine becomes so loud I feel like I'm in a wind storm and can't hear anything. I never knew anyone else got anything like that.

Ugh. Just sayin'. Feelings are not necessarily facts.

Rain, rain, go away. My husband's and my son's hotels were both flooded pretty drastically. Anything below ground was pretty much a goner. Somehow they still managed to play the golf tournament today, minus one hole. More rain tonight, but then we actually have fairly dry weather in the forecast for about a week (at this point anyway). Hallelujah!!

Our dog is finally feeling better. We've decided she has some sort of seasonal allergy that strikes her in the spring. She did this last year. Just itchy and miserable, losing hair, chewing on herself. Finally yesterday she started perking up again and acting like her usual peppy self. Poor baby.

Mine makes reality seem small and far away, like a show on tv, therefore extremely easy to tune out. I used to call it hiding in my head, until I learned it has a name.

I don't know why I stray from the couch. Is it really supportive and caring to slap down another user becuase they offer a different perspective. (This was not on the psychotherapy forum btw)

I get that buzzing n the ears and the feeling of everything being far away, its the start of me dissociating. according to my T.

I get pounding or rushing sound that rings so loud I can't hear the therapist and I get this thing where I go to speak but no words come out - it is like my vocal cords quit - my brain has the words but no sound comes out.

I get that with the words not coming out, sometimes it feels like my throat is blocked and I repeatedly clear my throat. My T did say what was happening then but I can't quite remember something to with the mind not wanting these things to be vocalised yet. Apparently when I am ready it will come.

Train wreck comes to mind from time to time when reading this forum.

I am at the age where all my friends are falling apart. Found out today that besides my very ill beloved person, one friend is having hips replaced and another close friend has a very serious blood disease.

I'm sorry to read that Stopdog.

I worry as I get older that I will lose more loved ones than I gain. I hope I'm wrong.

(((Growly))) )))Stopdog(((

Thanks! It was such a wonderful visit!! And it appeared that she enjoyed it as much as I did!

I'm sorry to hear that, stopdog.

Brony, any sign of the raccoon?

I hope you're wrong, too. ((((growlycat))))

I keep checking for the raccoon story happy ending.

Me, too.

Oh where, oh where is the little raccoon?
Oh where, oh where could she be?
With her mask and tail, and her nose and feet
Oh where, oh where could she be?