[virgill]

Hi everyone

Hopefully you can assist me. I made appointments with two new therapists today. I intend to probably meet both of them to see how it feels.

I am a bit anxious about this ( and funnily or not my issue has to fo with returning anxiety).

Anyway I had a therapist in the past who helped me lot and was my go to person in times of crisis. It ended pretty badly and left me feeling vulnerable, hurt and angry. I had been seeing her for over two years and trusted her very well. Anyway we had a in my opinion a minor confrontarion she got mad and fired me. Now I am terrified of making my self vulnerable to another T. I am afraid of allowing my self to give that much trust to someone who is seeing me as a professional.

I need to feel secure enough to be allowed to show doubts and disappointment towards the T. It is very important for me to feel like I am not giving to much authority to the T. I dont know whether this makes any sense but if you can give me some advice about how to deal with this I would be grateful.

Another thing that worries me is that I need to talk about how I feel about the way my last therapist treated me in this final session. I live in a fairly small town and I know there is a high likelyhood that they will know each other.

What should I do ?

[virgill]

Any advice people

[TangerineBeam]

I know how it feels. I am in a kind of similar situation right now. Recently I terminated with my T after she my outright ignored me in session, and now I'm choosing between two other therapists. I've already met with both, and when I did I explained what happened with my previous T (without mentioning her name of giving any details). I also explained what made me angry and hurt, what works for me and what doesn't, and how hard it is for me to open up right now. Talking about it helped me to understand if my new T will be a right fit for me. I hope this helps.

[virgill]

This helpes a lot. Thanks

[LonesomeTonight]

You could ask something like, "How do you deal with conflicts with your clients?" or something like that. And if they say, "Oh, I never have conflicts with my clients," then avoid that one :-) Normally, I'd say to trust your instincts, but I assume you feel unable to do that because of your past experience.

[Creative ToFu]

Anytime a therapist breaks our trust, it is so hard to open ourselves up to another one. The new ones need to know this because it may take longer for you to open up and learn to trust them.

I had 2 unethical therapists before I found one to work with and it took a long time to trust her. I put her through the ringer too. She understood I was scared and very vunerable like a caged animal. It is SO hard.

Good luck in this, and be gentle with yourself.

What a terrible ending. I'm sorry you had such a bad ending. I think it would help to ask about conflict, like Lonesome says and to mention what your said in your post about the ending. It would help your new T to understand you too.

[iris maybe]

I would discuss all of these worries and concerns with your new therapist, and just not mention the last one's name. You can even say why you're not revealing the name. I do understand all of your fears and doubts regarding therapists. I feel like therapists too often try to force me to erase my personality and turn me into someone I'm just not and never will be. And if I don't agree with a therapist's approach I feel like I'm not allowed to say so or I will be regarded as aggressive and cynical and a "difficult patient. I'm in the process of choosing a new therapist too. Good luck to you!!

Originally Posted by virgill

Hi everyone

Hopefully you can assist me. I made appointments with two new therapists today. I intend to probably meet both of them to see how it feels.

I am a bit anxious about this ( and funnily or not my issue has to fo with returning anxiety).

Anyway I had a therapist in the past who helped me lot and was my go to person in times of crisis. It ended pretty badly and left me feeling vulnerable, hurt and angry. I had been seeing her for over two years and trusted her very well. Anyway we had a in my opinion a minor confrontarion she got mad and fired me. Now I am terrified of making my self vulnerable to another T. I am afraid of allowing my self to give that much trust to someone who is seeing me as a professional.

I need to feel secure enough to be allowed to show doubts and disappointment towards the T. It is very important for me to feel like I am not giving to much authority to the T. I dont know whether this makes any sense but if you can give me some advice about how to deal with this I would be grateful.

Another thing that worries me is that I need to talk about how I feel about the way my last therapist treated me in this final session. I live in a fairly small town and I know there is a high likelyhood that they will know each other.

What should I do ?