Attachment issues

My extreme attachment to my t is going in waves. Part of the day I feel like I don't need her and I don't think about her and I am happy she is not always there. Then the other part of the day she all I can think about and I feel like I need to talk to her all the time. I don't know how to deal with this. It sucks. It's making my spiral into a deep depression.

Thank you all who responded to my post. Yes, it hurts very much. Her exact words were "that is reserved for my private life and would not be genuine if I said it." So the times she signed her Emails "Love, T" or told me she loved me too meant nothing. The healing hugs stopped too. The comfort. Even through all of this, how can I still feel so attached to her? I don't get it..... but cinnamon, there are way more people who have had good results....and in my case, it was more disclosure than that. She was talking about her daughter practically during every session, and I told her I found it triggering . I think that's what did it, not the admission of my attachment. Sad thing is, she's hurt me a great deal with her words and actions, and I'm STILL attached.

You are very strong Lizzy. I am so sorry you have a therapist like this. You deserve a better person. Have you decided if you are going to stay with her or move on?

No therapist should ever, ever discuss their children with any clientt who is struggling with attachment or maternal transference issues.

I mean, really!!!
Hello???

My gut tells me to leave....but my heart says stay. I'm trying to prepare myself to leave. It hurts too much to stay with her.

Yes, and it is when I finally said something that things changed. She was going through a very rough time with her teenage daughter. Canceling, delaying, rescheduling sessions, I could tell her mind wasn't completely there with me.....she was very stressed. I finally told her I found it "triggering," and she pulled away pretty much right after that. Went from loose boundaries to locked up tight (in my eyes).

I think it's best to go with your gut feeling. If she makes you feel so bad and you can't trust her then how can therapy help you?

A good T, wouldn't or shouldn't terminate you because of that. It's basically your feelings you had as a child reflected onto your T. It's in my opinion, the key into solving your problems. If your T doesn't use this to help you, let alone reject it completely, don't keep that T!!! If your T is a good one, they will not terminate you because of transference, especially if you don't want to be. I think these horror stories are on here because, like Red75 said, they are atypical.... And I'm not sure if most clients with a T has this strong of tansferrnce. I really doubt most people who have T care that much about them. I.m not sure. I want to see a statistic of how many people have considerable tansferrnce with their T vs. not. And I also am in the Same situation as you... I have mother transference to my T. I posted about it. Now I'm waiting for pysch central to post it!!!

My T is amazing. She is really helping me through it and is helping me understand why its happening and how i can cope with it. I hope to not have it as bad some day.

I was just rereading this whole thread I posted and I can't believe how much things have changed in almost a month. I am so glad I told my T about my attachment. I now have a healthy attachment to my T and its only intense at more rare times. She has helped me so much and it has actually made us closer and our relationship so much better in a very healthy way. I feel closer to her than I did before but its a healthy form of close where as before I feel it was pretty unhealthy.