[lightcatcher]

I sent T an email a day or more ago, after a tough session.
I think my reasoning brain had checked out. The email was a big blurt of feelings- that if my brain was on would have stayed buried (or I would be working on keeping it that way).
So now I have no control over the email, am left wondering what the heck T will think of it and of me. How do I walk in to Ts office next session without fear, shame and embarrassment. Will it be worse or better if T doesn't even email me back. I don't know.
Usually I am restrained - but I lost it. I gave it up. Now I just feel stupid.

[RedSun]

Oh Lightcatcher, I think most of us have done this, or something like it. Hopefully your T will use it all as 'grist for the mill' and a chance to see whats really going on for you underneath.
I'm sure your T can handle your emotions, and please don't feel stupid. It might be a really useful step!
Xx

[lightcatcher]

Thanks Red. I'm sure T will use it, but will i be able to talk is another question

Been there, done it, got the T-shirt.
It's T's response that comforted.

[ThisWayOut]

Definitely done that before... yeah, walking in to see t again the next time was awkward, but it was ok in the end. T didn't push the stuff I didn't want to really talk about.
Would you be open to trying to talk about any of it with t, even if it's a struggle? Those have generally been better session for me. Sometimes it's good to let the walls down a bit...
fwiw, t didn't think differently of me for letting go at those times.

[Whiteroses02]

I've done the same thing and had the same fears, but my T was so comforting and validating she actually thanked me for writing my unedited feelings. She even told me that while she was reading my email she actually had the reaction of "Ahhh there it all is" meaning that although I've gotten better opening up I still edit myself in sessions. She actually really appreciated receiving the email because it gave her a great understanding of my feelings which in turn helps her to help me.

[LonesomeTonight]

I've also been there, both in e-mail and a long, rambling, weepy voicemail. The wait to hear back is awful, but it's turned out OK in the end each time and improved communication with T and marriage counselor because I was really open and honest.

[Crook32]

I feel stupid after most emails I send to T. Sometimes she answers and sometimes she doesn't. The last on I sent she didn't answer so now I am nervous about going to my next session on Monday. So we have all been there before. It will be ok.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[lightcatcher]

Thank you to all of you! It is nice hearing that others have been in this kinda situation before. It gives me some peace.
thiswayout- I think the challenge is not to shut T out, I would love to keep open to T and this process. In my email I told T I want to push them away- they are too close and know things no one knows and I can't handle that. So it's going to be hard. I'm also at the point too however where im kinda like - well im in it, might as well do it.
I feel all over the place- I thought I was doing well.
Thanks again