Last session before a break

Just got home from my last session before T's first break. Stopdog, I should have listened to you! You'd said you usually cancel the last session before T goes on break....I should have! I thought about it.... and didn't. Then the urge was real strong last night and this morning, but she requires 24 hours notice to cancel. (unless it's an emergency, but I'm not one to lie).

I thought of you, Stopdog, during my session even. You said you don't feel the need to go to that last session only to be reminded that T is leaving. She hasn't talked about it at all. Today she talked about it a lot. How she understands feeling abandoned (I'm not), how I'm not going to see her for TEN days (I didn't count), and actually, this is her first break where she told me she wouldn't be around on Email while she's gone. Usually she's nagging me to Email her to check in. But it sounds like this time, there's no contact. That's the way it should be! (although I wonder if it's because she's doing that for herself, as she should, or if her boundaries with me have changed further). I learned my lesson. Next time, I'm canceling the last session so I don't have to sit through that. It's really kind of pointless to me. You can't really get started on something just to have to let it sit while you miss a couple sessions....

It's strange how bad Ts are at reading their patients.

Thank you. I somewhat feel like I wasted this session.... but we have had some pretty heavy sessions lately, and I needed this one to be more light hearted. On her behalf, sometimes she's really good at reading me. Other times, she's way off in left field. I've gotten pretty good at telling her when she is.

But just sometimes, I hope. I mean, no T is gonna read their patient right everytime. If they are wrong a lot, that'd be a problem!

MusingLizzy - we are all here for you while your T is gone!

The thing is - if you don't go to the last session then the previous session will be the last session and you won't be able to get started on something then. Is it the things she said to you about the last session that pissed you off - if that is the right word? Is it the fact that she told you how you felt rather than asked you? And also taking away email contact seems a really big thing.

Brown Owl, I was going to say the same thing. There will always be a last session before a break - you just decide how close to the break it is.

There is a difference for me if I choose it rather than letting the therapist. They won't go on about stuff that wastes my time and money if they don't know it is the last appointment for me. For me, the therapist going away is not a big deal in and of itself. But the way they dealt with it pissed me off, so I take it into my own hands now.

If T doesn't know it's the last session, she will behave normally and the session will go better.

The thing is, if you have some emotion about the break maybe it is better to talk about it?

Ts think so but some patients prefer to set their own agendas.

I wonder if, instead of deciding now what you will do the next time your T goes on a break, you could discuss this with her the next time you see her. Since this was not her normal behaviour before a break, it seems like a good idea to let her know that it wasn't helpful for you. (As we all know, there is no uniform way that Ts think or act, and the good ones are actually flexible and will change their behaviour based on what the clients need.)