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  #101  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 03:22 PM
missbella missbella is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by musinglizzy View Post
Just for the record, no one has ever labeled me as having attachment issues. I said that myself, because I know myself and know it's true. I've never even said it "out loud" until this post.
ML: I do my best to stop defining myself with these psych labels. They don't help; they only make me feel broken. Every person I know seeks and needs caring, affection, understanding and a pathway out of despair. So when someone comes along who promises these things, the pull can be powerful and intoxicating.

I heavily blamed myself for my therapists' poor treatment and management. I now don't believe the client's characteristics and vulnerabilities should be blamed when a treatment hurts the client. Smart, together people get lured in by stuff.
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  #102  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 03:25 PM
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ruh roh ruh roh is offline
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I could be wrong, but I understood missbella's comment to be about the way therapists (as reported here) label people. And they do (therapists, that is). At least, that's been my experience. In real life, people don't do that. They say hey--you're crowding me, or pushing me away. Some therapists will treat normal behavior and dysfunction as pathology.

I guess I didn't see it as an attack on anyone here at all.
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  #103  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 03:27 PM
musinglizzy musinglizzy is offline
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My T is also against labels. I guess I wasn't labeling myself, per se, just describing myself as being someone who gets overly attached easily.
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  #104  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 03:28 PM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
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(((Ruh roh))) Im catholic, my t is jewish - we argue over who feels more guilty
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  #105  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 03:30 PM
musinglizzy musinglizzy is offline
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Originally Posted by hankster View Post
(((Ruh roh))) Im catholic, my t is jewish - we argue over who feels more guilty
Ha ha... I'm catholic and my T is jewish also. LOL
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  #106  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 03:33 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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I thought the joke was jews have guilt - catholics have shame. (and the first one I see is jewish and I am recovering catholic. The second one is ex catholic too).
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  #107  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 03:34 PM
musinglizzy musinglizzy is offline
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I thought the joke was jews have guilt - catholics have shame. (and the first one I see is jewish and I am recovering catholic. The second one is ex catholic too).
Yes, actually I should "label" myself as the same...lol
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  #108  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 03:52 PM
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precaryous precaryous is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by musinglizzy View Post
No....she hasn't blamed me for this. She does say it's perfectly normal that I would feel this way. The only thing she said is "I'm sorry you feel this way." Although she has said if I can't move past *this,* I may need to consider if I should continue. Yet when I gave her a quit date later on, she said "don't you dare quit now!" Hey, I know I'm not easy to deal with. Sometimes I feel like I'm too broken for therapy even. Unfortunately I find boundaries hurtful and filled with rejection. That IS my fault that I feel that way.But she hasn't specifically told me this is my fault.
"I'm sorry you feel that way" I think, means- "Not *my* fault"....

I would want her to define exactly what does she think "this" is.

So your T must know you "find boundaries hurtful and filled with rejection." All the more her fault for stomping all over them.
Plus, you are not at fault for having feelings. Feelings are neither right or wrong.

{{Many safe hugs}}
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  #109  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 04:16 PM
musinglizzy musinglizzy is offline
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Originally Posted by precaryous View Post
"I'm sorry you feel that way" I think, means- "Not *my* fault"....

I would want her to define exactly what does she think "this" is.

So your T must know you "find boundaries hurtful and filled with rejection." All the more her fault for stomping all over them.
Plus, you are not at fault for having feelings. Feelings are neither right or wrong.

{{Many safe hugs}}
Thank you Precaryous... you helped me feel better. I need to learn that my feelings aren't wrong. I've spent my life thinking the are....bad habit to break! I hate to lose her over this...I wish she could just see it my way. If she would have just talked to me when she decided to redefine boundaries this all could have been avoided. Because of the way she handled it, I'm just paranoid for boundaries to change now...because I know she may not tell me.
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  #110  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 04:17 PM
musinglizzy musinglizzy is offline
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I agree too, that "I'm sorry you feel that way" feels like "it's not my fault that you feel that way, but I'll say sorry for your feelings anyway".
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  #111  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 06:49 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster View Post
(((Ruh roh))) Im catholic, my t is jewish - we argue over who feels more guilty

Too funny. It is the other way around with me and my t lol


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  #112  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 07:41 PM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
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Too funny. It is the other way around with me and my t lol


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I used to go to t near the detroit meetup - i think theres a lot of renegade ex-nuns there!
  #113  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 07:43 PM
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BayBrony BayBrony is offline
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Originally Posted by hankster View Post
I used to go to t near the detroit meetup - i think theres a lot of renegade ex-nuns there!
Wait are you in Michigan? ? Me too!
  #114  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 07:49 PM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
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Wait are you in Michigan? ? Me too!
No way! I thought you were in san francisco. ?? You better come to our meetup!!
  #115  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 07:51 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Originally Posted by BayBrony View Post
Wait are you in Michigan? ? Me too!

Me too

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  #116  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 07:54 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Originally Posted by hankster View Post
No way! I thought you were in san francisco. ?? You better come to our meetup!!

Hankster I sent you a pm

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unaluna
  #117  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 08:18 PM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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Hm, I'm technically Catholic (baptized, but never went through First Communion or anything) and my marriage counselor is Jewish...
  #118  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 08:39 PM
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BayBrony BayBrony is offline
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No way! I thought you were in san francisco. ?? You better come to our meetup!!
Meet up????
  #119  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 08:51 PM
musinglizzy musinglizzy is offline
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Bay, look at the top of this page, under 20th anniversary forum. There's a link to RSVP to a meetup, and get a free t-shirt
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  #120  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 09:09 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Originally Posted by musinglizzy View Post
Bay, look at the top of this page, under 20th anniversary forum. There's a link to RSVP to a meetup, and get a free t-shirt

Yeah. I forgot about t-shirt. Probably too late

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  #121  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 09:52 PM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
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Doc john said he ordered extras per site.
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  #122  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 10:46 PM
musinglizzy musinglizzy is offline
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I think it's awfully generous that they are willing to send out shirts to those of us who can't make it to one. I'm very appreciative!
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  #123  
Old Jun 22, 2015, 01:33 AM
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BayBrony BayBrony is offline
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Errmmmm am I the only one who isn't really sure I want to walk around with a psych central t-shirt on? ?
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  #124  
Old Jun 22, 2015, 02:24 AM
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growlycat growlycat is offline
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Originally Posted by BayBrony View Post
Errmmmm am I the only one who isn't really sure I want to walk around with a psych central t-shirt on? ?
I thought about getting one and wearing it to a team meeting at work. Maybe not a good idea, but it made me smile for a minute.
  #125  
Old Jun 22, 2015, 07:11 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Originally Posted by BayBrony View Post
Errmmmm am I the only one who isn't really sure I want to walk around with a psych central t-shirt on? ?

Oh no way I would walk around in it lol I would maybe wear at home. I didn't order it anyways

No walking around in it lol or to work on casual Friday. I just see kids asking questions about it

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