Not Sure What To Think About My T And Sessions

I've been really out of it lately so please bear with me while I try to explain this. This is the first time I've ever been in therapy and I'm not sure what to expect. I've been seeing my therapist for 6 months and I like her, for the first 4.5 months I saw her alone and I felt like we were working on my issues. Little over a month ago I took a major turn for the worse so my husband started going to therapy with me because right now I can't drive myself to session.

He has been going into session with me and things that I had told my therapist previous to him coming in, is coming up again and it's almost like I've never told my therapist anything. Things I know we have discussed, and when my husband tells her she will act surprised like she's never heard it before.

This is really bothering me. Also it seems like all we do now is chit chat and were not working on my issues. I'm at a loss here because I don't know what to expect in therapy. I know my point but I'm having problems reaching it! Bree

(((walk))))

I would hope that your husband would go with you to couples counseling, but not with your own therapist. If he needs to drive you, maybe your T could help suggest he sit in the waiting room (instead of intruding upon your session?)

Your T is protecting you and your information by acting surprised to anything the spouse says. You wouldn't want your spouse to "know" all that you have told in private to the T, trust me. Plus, the T is still YOUR T. YOU are her primary patient, not him, not the both of you...and she is protecting you. (((hugs)))

If you can't bring up the subject of going back to private sessions while your spouse is there, then call her and ask about these things. You have every right to have private sessions without your spouse

WalkFree - I'm sure that others who have more experience with therapy will have some good ideas for you, but I did want to offer one thought. Therapists are really good at compartmentalizing from one situation to another. What I mean is, that your therapist probably doesn't want to presume anything about what you have and haven't shared with your husband. So, things that come up when all three of you are in the room are new in the context of a session with all three of you. It is a new base to work from. She might not want to bring up issues from when it was just the two of you unless you offer them up or directly give her the ok to do so.

My T does this for me because I see her for individual and couples. She never brings things from my individual session in a couples session with out me offering it up. (she may indirectly prompt an idea, but leaves it up to me to fully discuss with my husband in the room). From the sounds of your post you aren't specifically there to work on your marriage, but it may just be that she doesn't want to presume anything with out your direction.

Just an idea.

Hi Walk Free, your therapist is protecting you by acting surprised. How you might be able to avoid this is to talk with her.

I know with my T, when we had couples counseling, he only responded to subjects that he knew my husband already knew. I was amazed that he could remember what to say and not to say...I felt like he was really listening to me.

She might also be trying to get to know what he thinks about whatever you are going through. There is a tactic for almost every word these T's say...and do...it is enough to make you spin for hours

Do you want your husband in the room with you? Does your therapist wish to have your husband in the room with you? Sounds to me like you feel like progress is not being made at this time because he gets in your way???

I would suggest that your husband sit in the car, in the waiting room or go do errands for an hour. Would that be o.k. with you?

I agree that your therapist acting surprised is protecting your confidentiality. That is a good supportive action from your therapist.

Have the three of you not discussed him being in the room? Also if you wish him to have any input sinse you took a turn for the worst he could come in at the beginning or the end but only if you and /or the therapist wish him to.

Time to bring it up to your husband or however you choose to address it.

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SecretGarden said:
Do you want your husband in the room with you?

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Walk Free, I think SG has asked the key question.

Is your T a couples therapist or a family therapist? My T is a family systems therapist so he can help immensely if he sees more than one member of a family. I have recently embarked on couples therapy with him after 7 months of individual. It is amazing what he has been able to do, he now sees so much more of the picture and understands even better our individual work, because he is seeing the family "system." From what you wrote, it sounds like you are not reaping much benefit from doing couples therapy right now, and your main issues to work on would be more effectively taken care of in individual therapy? I hope you can discuss this with your husband and T. Good luck.

My therapist does individual/family type therapy. The reason why my husband started going into session with me was because I lost my memory, I didn't know who my family was, my surroundings or nothing. He was there to fill her in on what was happening with me because I couldn't remember one day from the next.
I have my memory back now but feel totally disconnected from people.
Yesterday my therapist asked if I wanted to come in the room alone and my husband spoke up and said that he didn't think I was ready to be alone in the room with her or anyone else.

What has been written about my therapist protecting me makes sense.
I want to start doing individual sessions again but everytime while I'm in the waiting room I start getting anxious and my husband is protective so he takes that as a sign he needs to go in session with me.

I tell him it's ok for me to go alone but he has this "I need to protect you" mind set and there isn't any changing it! But as long as he is there with me, I won't open up to my therapist, so were at a standstill.

Sorry it takes me so long to answer, but between my memory fading in and out and hallucinations it hard. Bree