Chair or Couch? Sit or Recline?

Well, I had a new thing happen in couples therapy this week regarding the seating arrangement. It was our third couples session. The first two times, I sat in my usual place on one couch and my husband sat on the couch opposite me. T sat in his mobile therapy chair at right angles to us both, equal distance from each. This worked. Then last night, T did this for a bit, but by that time of night, he often moves onto a couch in my individual sessions to get a stretch and loosen up. So he did this last night and chose my husband's couch (which is the couch T usually sits on when I am there). Anyway, I remember thinking he did this very deliberately, sitting next to my husband on the couch rather than next to me. I saw it as his way to not appear to be "on my side", which it might have appeared to be if T and I were on the same couch facing off against my husband. My husband has to contend with the fact that I have been seeing T individually for 7 months and have a strong attachment and working relationship with him. I think T has really tried to make my husband feel "welcome" and not like an interloper into an already established therapy. I was not bothered by T choosing to sit next to my husband but certainly noted it strongly to myself.

I love this seating discussion thread.

Sunrise - I think it is interesting that you choose to sit in the same place for couples and individual. I am the opposite. My T just has one couch and her chair is opposite. But, for individual I sit on one side of the couch and for couples I try to sit on the other. That doesn't always happen, but lately I try to make it happen that way. It somehow helps me compartmentalize between the different dynamics/experiences of the two different types of sessions.

Yeah, this thread has taken on a life of its own.

The few times my husband and I were in T's office together, I deliberately sat on the couch with hubby in my therapy chair and T in his usual chair across from husband with me at a right angle to both of them. I did this deliberately so my husband could feel what it was like to sit in the proverbial "hot seat."

You guys are making me feel better. So your husband doesn't sit next to you on the couch either? I was thinking the first time we came in, that T must think we are so dysfunctional (well, that part is true) because we won't sit next to each other.

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Sunrise - I think it is interesting that you choose to sit in the same place for couples and individual.

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Lemon, I don't hear well out of one ear, so I always need to have my good ear towards the other people in the room. So I always try to be on the far right with people sitting to my left side, so I can hear them. If I switched places in the therapy room, I might miss a lot of the conversation!

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I don't hear well out of one ear, so I always need to have my good ear towards the other people in the room.

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Hey Sunrise,

This is true for me too. I lost much of the hearing in left ear do to Meniere's syndrome.

I also tend to arrange my seating for maximum hearing but come to think of it, that time in T's office, my deaf ear was toward my husband--uhoh analyze that!

Add to that, the dog chewed my hearing aid! (LOL)

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sister said:
that time in T's office, my deaf ear was toward my husband--uhoh analyze that!

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That is priceless!