[InRealLife45]

I've been feeling off, and I guess outwardly behaving in a withdrawn manner, and got called in to see my program chair. I didn't tell the truth the first time, so I asked to meet with her again the next day, but people here advised me not to share personal info with her, so I decided not to.

But when I went to the appointment, (despite having decided not to talk) when I got there she's all what do you want to talk about?

And I was like "nothing I changed my mind."

So she's all "well why did you come?"

And I said "I don't know. I can leave tho."

And explained that I was advised not to share personal info, but she let it go at first, and we talked about other stuff, but every 15 min she would bring it up again, and she dragged it out of me. It was weird how easy it was to talk to her.

But I guess she was encouraged by me talking bc she got bold and asked me how long I've been cutting- without me having told her I cut, and with me pointedly wearing long sleeves or hiding my arm when directly interacting with her.

She revealed that she noticed my scars in the first day of class 11 weeks ago. Her revealing this led to a discussion about my being borderline, and if in light of that she still thought I should remain in the program.

She said that I still had time, with the right therapist I could work through it and become a dynamic therapist.

She's trying to find me someone she thinks would work well with me, but the one I have isn't going to be able to do it.

Oddly enough, the conversation wasn't as awkward as I expected. And I revealed some more personal things, and surprisingly I felt unburdened afterwards. I really feel better after a one hour conversation.

It makes me sad I can't feel like this with my own therapist, the way it used to be.

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[divine1966]

I really hope this professor would find you right t. Regardless if you remain in a program right t would be just awesome! Fingers crossed

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[Lauliza]

I'm glad your talk went so well and also hope she can help you find the right T. Proper treatment can make all the difference in the world in terms of managing your symptoms. I'm also glad you decided to stay in the program. I think most people in psych programs question whether they are in the right field but when it's really not the right fit I think you can feel it. The fact that you still feel passionate despite some set backs says to me you should stick with it.

[JustShakey]

(((IRL)))
Sounds like your program chair is an awesome T. She's right too. With the right T to work through your stuff you could be a great therapist too. You've been through so much - you have so much to offer

[Bill3]

It makes me sad I can't feel like this with my own therapist, the way it used to be

I think what happened is a very promising development. I expect that she of all people will have an excellent chance of finding you an appropriate T.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by Bill3

I think what happened is a very promising development. I expect that she of all people will have an excellent chance of finding you an appropriate T.

Yea, and she didn't even tell me it wasn't her job, like my T did.

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[Bill3]

Yes!

It sounds like she really cares about you, and her students generally. From the way you describe her, also, I bet you can learn a lot from her.

[growlycat]

I agree that you have the potential to be a great therapist if you can work through your own stuff with a better T. It's great if your professor can help you find a T, but your classmates have a valid point in being cautious going forward what you tell her. She isn't your therapist but considering the program you are in, it's probably fine asking for her help. I hope you are closer to finding a better T!!

[iheartjacques]

That's encouraging !

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I agree that you have the potential to be a great therapist if you can work through your own stuff with a better T. It's great if your professor can help you find a T, but your classmates have a valid point in being cautious going forward what you tell her. She isn't your therapist but considering the program you are in, it's probably fine asking for her help. I hope you are closer to finding a better T!!

Huh? My classmates have a valid point about what?

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[divine1966]

Think when you said "people here" it appeared as people in your class. I think you meant PC

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[Bill3]

Something to be aware of is that she has dual responsibilities: to students, but also to the program. Because of this dual responsibility, she cannot ethically be a T for any student in her program, and no student will have automatic, ethically required confidentiality regarding what they say to her.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by Bill3

Something to be aware of is that she has dual responsibilities: to students, but also to the program. Because of this dual responsibility, she cannot ethically be a T for any student in her program, and no student will have automatic, ethically required confidentiality regarding what they say to her.

That isn't true. She has seen students in individual therapy before. She just doesn't like to and doesn't do it often.

No I don't have automatic confidentiality, that's true, but I asked if she had to tell anyone or write anything in my file about what we discussed and she said no.

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[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by InRealLife45

That isn't true. She has seen students in individual therapy before. She just doesn't like to and doesn't do it often.

No I don't have automatic confidentiality, that's true, but I asked if she had to tell anyone or write anything in my file about what we discussed and she said no.

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She sounds like a good resource for you and I'd be shocked if she told anyone or put something in your file/wrote down what you said. It's a great to know you have the department on your side.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by InRealLife45

That isn't true. She has seen students in individual therapy before. She just doesn't like to and doesn't do it often.

No I don't have automatic confidentiality, that's true, but I asked if she had to tell anyone or write anything in my file about what we discussed and she said no.

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I am really surprised she saw her own students for individual therapy? I would never think it is appropriate. Unless you meant she just casually talked to them. That's different. Like if I talk to a professor requesting extension on the exam because my family member is ill it's not individual therapy. How does she provide therapy to students?

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[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I am really surprised she saw her own students for individual therapy? I would never think it is appropriate. Unless you meant she just casually talked to them. That's different. Like if I talk to a professor requesting extension on the exam because my family member is ill it's not individual therapy. How does she provide therapy to students?

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Didn't ask the ins and outs of it but she's said in class that she has. And regretted it. Bc the student was as crazy as she suspected and ended up threatening her.

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[Leah123]

I think it's terrible that she shared that!

How would you like to be the student who in the future she described as "that girl who cut herself and _________" or whatever.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by Leah123

I think it's terrible that she shared that!

How would you like to be the student who in the future she described as "that girl who cut herself and _________" or whatever.

She didn't identify the girl and I've come to accept that we are all stories. Some of us are cautionary tales.

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[Leah123]

Doesn't sound like she's avoiding dual relationships, if she grades students who are also her clients, wonder how she gets around that? I am glad you felt supported though and hope she finds you an excellent T!

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by Leah123

Doesn't sound like she's avoiding dual relationships, if she grades students who are also her clients, wonder how she gets around that? I am glad you felt supported thou

Girl was in practicum, no more classes. And dual relationships are not always avoidable, and are okay in certain situations.



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[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by Bill3

Something to be aware of is that she has dual responsibilities: to students, but also to the program. Because of this dual responsibility, she cannot ethically be a T for any student in her program, and no student will have automatic, ethically required confidentiality regarding what they say to her.

I've heard of psych professors doing individual therapy with students before. It's a little different when you're studying to enter a profession. More is expected of you and I think it's a matter of course that you are not going to be sheltered from seeing the 'real-life' version of your T or having other students know that you are in therapy and with whom.
I suspect that giving up some confidentiality with regard to your own personal issues is part and parcel to being in a program like this. After all, they are trying to educate quality Ts, and in order to be a quality T you must face your 'stuff' and not hide it out of shame.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by Leah123

Doesn't sound like she's avoiding dual relationships, if she grades students who are also her clients, wonder how she gets around that? I am glad you felt supported though and hope she finds you an excellent T!

Ethical codes for counseling have changed a lot over the years for this very reason so it's possible this situation could have existed a decade ago.

Its also not unusual to give case examples in class, which would always consist of former clients (if not their own then someone elses). Former students would fall into this same category. The majority of clients are never discussed and if they are, so much information is altered besides the names that identities aren't revealed.

[JustShakey]

My T does talk about other clients - not in any identifiable way, but where he feels it might be helpful to my process. He tells me he uses my story with others too. I'm completely fine with that. It's good to hear how others have gone through or are going through similar stuff, even if I'll never know anything more than a vague anecdote about them. And honestly, I'm quite proud that he thinks my story is 'good enough' to share.

[divine1966]

Omg girl who threatened her professor planned on becoming a therapist ouch

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[divine1966]

My t told me that she has many clients in very bad and often abusive marriages. I don't know her clients so it is general comment. We were discussing marriage so it was on topic. Not identifiable

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