[Cinnamon_Stick]

I was wondering if its ok to give your T gifts? Have you given a gift to your T? What did they say?

I want to make a bracelet for my T. She is such a good T and has helped me and changed my life. I want to make something or give something to her.

It varies from T to T, so you might want to ask first so that you don't hand it to her only to have her tell you she cannot accept it.

I did give my T a gift, but I already knew what his stance on gifts was so that really wasn't an issue. He was very appreciative.

[musinglizzy]

My T's policy is no gifts....although she will accept things I make myself, or something that I don't have to go out and buy. I've given her paintings I've done, and pieces of plants I grow, to grow her own in her yard.

[PinkFlamingo99]

I gave my old T a gift, something I brought back for her from a trip. She loved it and has kept it in her office for years. She used to say she looked at it multiple times a day and thought of me, sent me love and good wishes.

If I could go back now I wouldn't have given it to her. She hurt me so badly that I don't like the idea of a piece of me sitting in her office.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

I gave my old T a gift, something I brought back for her from a trip. She loved it and has kept it in her office for years. She used to say she looked at it multiple times a day and thought of me, sent me love and good wishes.

If I could go back now I wouldn't have given it to her. She hurt me so badly that I don't like the idea of a piece of me sitting in her office.

Im sorry she hurt you. I hope you are in a better place now.

[junkDNA]

i have given my T gifts.. drawings..ive bought him toys for his office, like magnetic silly putty, stuff that ppl can play with while they talk...stuff like that

hes given me a few things too like a calvin and hobbes book and random things

some Ts might not accept gifts and some might and want to talk about what they mean for you

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

I was wondering if its ok to give your T gifts? Have you given a gift to your T? What did they say?

I want to make a bracelet for my T. She is such a good T and has helped me and changed my life. I want to make something or give something to her.

I've given my T birthday and Christmas presents. She accepted appreciatively. I've also sent her a few other items, a book, a cd, a movie, but those were for us to share in session.

She said things like the gifts were wonderful and thank you.

I love gift giving, not just to my therapist, so it's a pretty normal part of my relationships. I did not expect her to reciprocate, I think that's important to keep in mind so we aren't inadvertently hurt when they maintain professional boundaries and don't. Also, some T's definitely don't accept gifts, others don't accept expensive ones but may allow home made or inexpensive ones... I think your T will very much appreciate thought, especially as it's homemade, and hopefully they can accept it. But if it's against their rules, I hope you won't take it personally, I'm sure it's not!

I love to give gifts and have given lots of them to my T. Some home made, some store bought.

I wrote 2 poems for her that I gave her (one was about 4 or 5 months into therapy, the 2nd was back in May when I got to spend some time with her again finally). And right before she moved out of state I crocheted a doily that I starched into a bowl, and gave it to her at my last appointment. I did ask her first if I could give her a gift. She said as long as it was something small and hand made it would be ok. Which it was, so she happily accepted it. Every now & then when we're having a phone session she will say "I'm looking at the bowl you made for me." I always like to hear that she remembers I made it for her.

[MusicLover79]

I told my t I wanted to get her a gift for Christmas but I knew I couldn't and she said yeah don't buy me anything. But over the past year I've been seeing her, I've made her a bracelet, colored her pictures, bought her stuff from the zoo, have given her little things I've bought that were really inexpensive and written her letters and made cards for her and she has loved them all. So I would say ask but I think it would be fine.

[ScarletPimpernel]

The only thing I've given new T so far is a box of tissues simply because she didn't have any for 2 weeks. She told me that she normally doesn't accept gifts, but she'll accept the tissues. I told her she needs to loosen up a little because even my Pdoc lets me give her gifts. She agreed that she would accept gifts that had no monetary value

I have given my Pdoc a survival kit and a jar of marbles (in case she "loses" hers). I gave ex-T a painting, a crocheted blanket, flowers, and a survival kit.

I do not give gifts for holidays or b-days unless I'm expected to. And otherwise, I don't usually give gifts. I also hate receiving gifts. But when the desire is there, I go ahead and give a gift.

I once gave a former T a hardcover todolist notebook because she'd said she'd like one but couldn't find a store that sold them. And for her birthday I gave her nuts and a pastry (both bought).

I love giving gifts. I do it all the time with my family. I don't expect anything in return - if anything, receiving stuff makes me feel awkward.

[Tearinyourhand]

we give each other gifts. I like giving him gifts. they aren't huge things. mostly stuff we're both into. like action figures or comics.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

The only thing I've given new T so far is a box of tissues simply because she didn't have any for 2 weeks. She told me that she normally doesn't accept gifts, but she'll accept the tissues. I told her she needs to loosen up a little because even my Pdoc lets me give her gifts. She agreed that she would accept gifts that had no monetary value

I have given my Pdoc a survival kit and a jar of marbles (in case she "loses" hers). I gave ex-T a painting, a crocheted blanket, flowers, and a survival kit.

I do not give gifts for holidays or b-days unless I'm expected to. And otherwise, I don't usually give gifts. I also hate receiving gifts. But when the desire is there, I go ahead and give a gift.

LOL. Aren't tissues kind of a neccessity?

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

Im sorry she hurt you. I hope you are in a better place now.

It's still fresh. I last saw her in April and she last emailed me a few months ago. I'm not coping well, but thanks

[ThingWithFeathers]

I gave my t a painting at the end of the first year with her and I gave her a letter and home made card at the end of the second year. I will think of something else this year. My t accepted them graciously and sent me a thank you email for the letter.

[Coco3]

I've given only one gift (store bought) to my T. That was at the last session, before saying goodbye. I didn't know his policy on gifts, I never asked. He accepted the gift and really seemed to like it. It was something funny and it made him laugh.

[divine1966]

I think it is ok.

My t gave me a gift, she brought something from her overseas travels. It was very thoughtful. I would bring her souvenir from
Travel as well but I am not traveling this year. Too broke. I am not sure what to give her and if I should unless it is a souvenir from travel.

am thinking hand made stuff is perfect. Like a bracelet you mentioned. It should be well received

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[divine1966]

Originally Posted by angelicgoldfish05

Things I gave to ex t:
jounal (if I remember right, this is what I gave him after our "time together" was up, after leaving inpatient).
Then. ski passes, cards, money, gift card, picture frames, t-shirt, art, letters, poetry, pictures, books, music, food, my heart... you know, the usual.

I am confused. You gave him money? Outside of paying your bill?

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[TheWell]

I asked my T and my group T if I could give them a drawing. I do fairly good, realistic drawings. They both said yes and I worked out with them what they wanted me to draw. It felt good to give each one of them a drawing.
I did frame them before I gave them their drawings.

[ruh roh]

From things you've shared about your therapist, cinnamonstick, I'm guessing it's a safe bet she'll accept your gift. I would just give it to her, tell her it's handmade and that you were looking for a way to show your thanks in a way that's meaningful to you (or whatever it is that the bracelet gift represents to you). Jewelry is pretty personal, so that's why I'd frame it in a less intimate way.

In reading elsewhere about gifts to clients, it seems that the issue therapists have with gifts comes from clients who use them as a way to further a fantasy relationship, to get closer and who might feel entitled to more from a therapist than what they can do in the therapy setting. For some, it fuels an obsession. I would think that a therapist can gauge whether or not it will be a problem for the individual and their therapy.

I haven't given my therapist a gift and so far haven't felt the need to. I show appreciation in other ways (I think), by getting the most that I can out of therapy. In the end, I do think that's what matters to them (well, most of them I would hope). I think you can trust your gut on this one in terms of your therapist.

[angelicgoldfish05]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I am confused. You gave him money? Outside of paying your bill?

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Never mind about it. I deleted my post. But yes, I gave him money. Turns out, you can only "buy love" if you are a patient. I was not receiving a bill at the time as I was not a patient. I then tried to continue to receive his love, care and attention, by showering with gifts and praise and yes, monetary compensation. Although, none of the above worked and he still dropped me. He was an ex-T. Not a T.

[BonnieJean]

I give little gifts I have made for t. Mainly for her birthday or sometimes cards when making them helps me. It hasn't been a problem.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by angelicgoldfish05

Never mind about it. I deleted my post. But yes, I gave him money. Turns out, you can only "buy love" if you are a patient. I was not receiving a bill at the time as I was not a patient. I then tried to continue to receive his love, care and attention, by showering with gifts and praise and yes, monetary compensation. Although, none of the above worked and he still dropped me. He was an ex-T. Not a T.

Oh that's the one. I don't blame you. I think he is out of line and unprofessional accepting all that

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I think it is inappropriate and unethical for a therapist to accept a gift from a client.