I seem ok so maybe it's time to leave?

Sounds like good material for a new thread, since it doesn't seem relevant to hers if you don't think it applies to her T and she's chosen to take a break.

My T definitely has a plan for all her clients and she's known me a long time and a long time before the transference. I think she was surprised I couldn't climb out of it.
I'm not sure she was threatening referral as much as pointing out this is too hard on me. She said you keep going in cycles. We have discussed with another T I might not have the transference.

I've also realized I never told her what was ok in my life. I was focusing on the negative so I was painting a dark picture. I was so determined to cry with her that I was bringing myself down. I've realized a lot the last few days.

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That's a really great insight.

I was always scared of that in my therapy, getting stuck in the negative, and there was a lot of trauma to work through, but we always focused on the positive and progress and that made a huge difference- being progress oriented and making sure to reflect on all the good. My T was very proactive about saying we can celebrate in therapy too and alternate heavier and lighter material at my pace. On your break or if you leave therapy for good or see someone else, I agree that your insight is worth taking with you!