Need T, but don't trust her

I don't like the idea that she "owes" her therapist something in the same way as I owe my boss something. She "owes" it to herself. The therapist is there to help her get there.

For someone who has a tendency to be a little hurtful with your words, I find it odd you consider this "nitpicking."

I don't think of it as argument - just play.

Good luck. I think not reacting and trying to sleep is a good plan.

Pink, thank you for calling me out on this. I hope this explains stuff to you and others about what i post and why?

It was not my intention to be hurtful when i suggested scarlet contact her t AFTER doing some DBT on this. I was just imagining how my t would react to such a call or text from me - he would not welcome it. So i tried to phrase it as tactfully and helpfully as possible, taking from my experience.

I felt betrayed when scarlet did not mention until later that there was an argument at brunch. She made it sound like stepdad banned her from the wedding out of the blue. If i didnt sufficiently hide my feelings about that, well, what can i say. I did try. I think we owe it to each other to be as honest as possible to each other here, and as kind as possible.

As for the work metaphor, i dont think a person "owes" their boss or their therapist anything. The more a person puts into either endeavor, the more she gets out of it. You are your own authority. I was upset that you didnt see that this was the point i was trying to make, and seemed to think it was more important to just contradict me, with a cliche. That detracts from the overall worth of this site, imo.

Maybe nitpicking isnt the right word. I do try to choose my words carefully. Maybe its more like flaming. I dont think its "playing". If i disagree with someone, i dont try to simply negate thrir post by saying the opposite. That seems like a lazy way to do it. One, negative one. Put some thought into it.

Eta - if y'all still think im being hostile, then i do apologize and i will certainly back off.
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I'm for that. You said you were discussing concerns about her this morning? Are there new ones?

Oh, on phone calls...one of mine charges after 5 minutes. The other is the more standard 15.

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Oh. Nope Just didn't want an argument to keep going and have my thread closed, so I was trying to change the topic back to me. That's all.

Wow, after 5 minutes?!? I haven't really had too many long calls with T and MC. I've had a few 30-minute calls with each in the past 6 months or so, but others were 10 minutes or less. I suspect if I was having a long call with them on a weekly basis they could start charging (or just say we'd need to discuss in session). I'm just glad they don't charge for e-mails, like someone mentioned--I often use e-mail as a way to sort of process things after a session, though if they respond, it's just a few lines. Maybe the ones that charge write more.

O.M.G.!!! T was supportive! There is hope!

I sent an email to T this morning asking her for support. Earlier today I got an email from T asking to switch appt times, but she didn't say anything else. Nothing supportive about my situation. I was upset. My fiance called her and left her 2 msgs.

Here's the email I got from her in response:
I responded:
She responded back:
I'm so proud of her. She listened to me and she gave me exactly what I wanted and needed. There is hope for her after all I'm happy.

That is very good news!

How do you feel about your fiancé, and not you, calling her? Does he normally do that?

That's part of the reason why NO ONE knows my T's full name, or has her contact info. She has emergency contact info... but I would not want anyone contacting her on my behalf. Even my husband wouldn't know how to contact her if he felt the need (which he wouldn't).

Did you ask your fiancé to contact her?

Yes, I asked him to call her. I was too afraid to call her myself

I don't feel that any one person is the 'good guy' or the 'bad guy' in this situation. It seems like everyone was being unreasonable and it got out of hand.

Off topic.