[Lostmarshmallow]

My situation is complicated (guess most people's are) just my babysitter who used to look after my son while I went to therapy can't anymore(moved away), I have known this was coming for 2 months but I guess pushed it to the back of my mind now however I can't find a babysitter to return to T, we kinda left the session mon where I would contact her when I find the time to see her she that was it 😢 obviously not sure when that is going to be so feel really disjointed not sure if I will go back or if she cares to want me back etc

Do you think you can do okay without therapy? I thought I couldn't but I actually was much better off away from the therapist.

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by Lostmarshmallow

My situation is complicated (guess most people's are) just my babysitter who used to look after my son while I went to therapy can't anymore(moved away), I have known this was coming for 2 months but I guess pushed it to the back of my mind now however I can't find a babysitter to return to T, we kinda left the session mon where I would contact her when I find the time to see her she that was it 😢 obviously not sure when that is going to be so feel really disjointed not sure if I will go back or if she cares to want me back etc

I'm so sorry. I would ask her if she'd like to continue seeing you as a client. It's quite likely she does or she would have tried to refer you to someone else or terminate you beforehand.

Can you hire a new babysitter? When I was younger, a lot of high school students with flexible schedules did babysitting, also senior citizens/retired folks in the neighborhood, or sometimes parents would swap with each other to get free babysitting.

[Lostmarshmallow]

I've been trying to find someone but nothing yet, I guess I'm struggling to work out if she cares or not and where I am other than a constant mess or in crisis mode. I've been seeing T since Jan last year where I've gone from wanting someone to offload to, to having ASD, PTSD, GAD dx and returning to very unhealthy coping strategies a lot down to the situation I am in, but how do you measure progress ?

[Leah123]

Well, I did experience being stirred up a lot more when I talked about the trauma that gave me PTSD, and while I was in the middle of sharing it, my symptoms increased, which is typical. But I worked with my therapist on some coping strategies that helped a bit, and after a while, the symptoms receded and I didn't feel the need to work on the trauma anymore. And things got better at home and I continually get better at the items I set as my goals. It is not all linear, I still have days where it's hard to see progress or where I slip up but overall, if I look objectively, I can see huge changes. I've been in therapy a couple years but very frequent sessions, though the thing is, we all have our own pace and timeline.

I am concerned that you are concerned about landing three diagnoses that it seems like maybe you feel do not fit (?) and about whether your unhealthy coping strategies are damaging?

Is your therapist able to help you with distress tolerance techniques and to moderate the intensity of your sessions a bit so you aren't completely overwhelmed? I had to press my therapist for techniques, but they really helped.

I will say, during the worst of my trauma work, I was always afraid of falling apart, but I didn't actually. I would have crying spells, anxious ones, upset ones, etc. but... I did hold down my job, family commitments, etc. So, I think it's about.... balance and if you think what you're doing is worthwhile, if you feel in your heart it's going to help.

Have you made progress on your goals- are you working toward a happier healthier life? Can you see the point of what you two are doing together? I think that kept me going. It wasn't always perfectly clear, and it was excruciating sometimes, but I saw the reason, I was invested in healing through dealing with all the ugliness so I felt... like I had a compass I guess.

[Lostmarshmallow]

I suppose part of it is I am still in the abusive situation where a lot of this stems from and can't escape because of custody rules due to my son (therapist knows this) I suppose I'm so confused as to what is what now and very confused in my avoidance of sorting this issue out sooner as I did know it was happening but I have buried my head in the sand.

Most weeks I can swing from one end of trying to improve and doing steps towards that to complete utter sabotage, I do hold down a full time job although how at times I have no idea. I guess for me I just want some answers about the lies people have said about me and a way to believe that they are lies. Not sure if I have made sense Leah or just rambled on ��

[Leah123]

Well, I will say this, from my experience- it's impossible to accomplish as much healing or progress if you're remaining in an abusive situation. So, that's a huge contributing factor to how you feel and your concern about progress in my estimation.

I'm glad you're taking steps to improve, and they do take time and practice to become routine. Have you had success with the things you've tried? As for the sabotage, are you two working in therapy to understand it and mitigate it?

I'm not sure what you mean about the lies people have told about you because I only have what you've written above, but in terms of helping you build a positive self identity, I would expect therapy to help with that. Therapists are supposed to basically have unconditional positive regard for *us*, even while helping us with problem behaviors that may be negative.