Pdoc attachment/connection?

Have you ever felt attached to your pdoc? Or connected?

I have a history of never getting along with any pdoc I have had. I have never gotten attached to a pdoc, nor have I ever felt a connection.

I have had 6 pdocs in 8 years. The 1st was a woman; the rest all men. Didn't matter, couldn't get along with any of them. Even if I start out thinking one is okay, I end up hating him in the end.

As far as my current pdoc, I started out thinking he was okay. He was the first doctor to really treat me with the resepct of recognizing that I am very knowledgable about a lot of the medicines. He was the first doctor in which I really felt we worked together to pick a medication. He included me, and trusts me to have a big part in managing my own medication crap. He was respectful of my extreme fear of going back on meds after 4 years, and never pushed me.

But little by little, he started to annoy the %#@&#! out of me. I grew increasingly annoyed with him until I just hated him. Gets to the point where if I see him, it basically ruins my mood for the whole day. I normally see him right before my session with T because it's much easier on my schedule. On those days, I normally have a very anger-driven session with my T.

Last month I had a session with my pdoc. I couldn't even look at him. Couldn't talk to him. Would only nod or give yes/no responses. Shrugged a lot. Gave him a terrible attitude. (Very mature, I know). Wanted to make sure that he knew I couldn't stand him.

I guess for me, the medication aspect is the hardest part of having an illness, or whatever it is you wanna call it. I feel like if I'm going to be on meds, then they should help. I feel like the meds are going to %#@&#! me up, take away my emotions, flat line my personality. So I take this all out on the pdoc, I guess. He is supposed to wave the magic wand and make me better. If not, then he is the one responsible for me still feeling bad.

Incidentally, I called him last week because I'm having a real problem with my meds. He called me back on Saturday morning, but I didn't hear my phone ring... he left a message telling me to leave him a message back, letting him know when the best time for him to get in touch with me on Monday would be. So I left him a msg., saying to call after 5 PM on Monday. Well............... It's almost Friday. %#@&#!. You'd think I would try to give the guy a break, and maybe just be mature and call back.

So anyway, that was the (very) long answer to my question.

i've never had a good feeling with any Pdoc. Most I have seen have never been much interested in my thoughts...seemed like they just wanted to push some drugs in me and get me out of there office.

i'm not on any medications for various reasons...most of which are connected to me just not "trusting" medications and being sick of everyone pushing them on me like it is the end-all answer.

the most recent Pdoc I went to was because my insurance was making a stipulation of continuing to pay for visits to my therapist (the same therapist I'm working with now). My therapist refered me to him and he did sit down with me to talk about my millions of questions. I was already in my "defensive mode" about medications in general, since I was being forced to see this Pdoc because of my insurance company. The guy did listen, but he was still very very cold to me. I felt like I was in a morgue. It was the most sterile place I've ever been to.

So in general I'm biased againt Pdocs and never had much liking of them...they all have seemed cold and just want to get you in/get you out.

That Pdoc I was refered to basically assessed that my anxiety of medications would offset any potential benefits and just recommended continued work with my therapist.

I agree...if they want to put you on something...they need to work with you. And I cannot ever see myself becoming connected or attached to a Pdoc.

I don't care for my p-doc much. My T gave me a referral to her because I asked him to. She doesn't let me talk really and interrupts me.

She also once was upset that I spoke to my T about certains meds for sleeping. She said 'does he handle medication?' and I said 'no...' and she said 'oh good I wanted to make sure you were following that'...hated her from that minute.

1) she shouldn't diss my T to me 2) not a great first visit with her and 3) she thinks I have OCPD...and my T does not...where she got this diagnosis? I have no idea!

I don't have a pdoc currently because I don't do meds. When I was 18 years old, I had a friend who later became my therapist. He was a pdoc. Great guy. I had to terminate therapy after not too long because of the problem of going from a being his friend to being his client. It was too confusing for me to handle at that age (maybe it would be at any age). Anyway, he was a real sweetie, and I really mourned the loss of our friendship.

Both of my T's have been pdocs. Yes I have been connected....but that is because I have them ...or do they have me...lol.. longer I suppose?

Pink....How does this connect with your desire to even take the meds? It is often said that the success of the med is affected by the relationship you have with the med and the pdoc prescribing it. Do you not like the pdoc because of the med....or not like the med due to the pdoc...OR the med because of the med? The relationship is key to the success...if you do not like the pdoc...why would you like what they wish you to ingest?

Almeda said:

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) she thinks I have OCPD...and my T does not...where she got this diagnosis?

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Apparently, it's not all that unusual for pdoc and t to have 2 different diagnoses. Interesting.

As for me, I like my pdoc. I've only seen him 2 times but so far I like him. I don't have the same expectations of him as I have for T. However, he is very kind and allows me to talk and seems reasonably caring. He is most concerned that the meds are right for me and is very careful about that. He's also my son's p-doc, and he likes him too. It doesn't bother me or son that we share p-doc. This would be a big problem if it were the same T, as it would represent a huge conflict. So, it goes to show you the difference in relationships.