[justdesserts]

I've been seeing my t twice a week for about a year and a half. When it started, I was deep in crisis and needed to see him twice a week for safety reasons. Things have gotten better and worse over the past year and a half and right now, I'm not in crisis. Tangent: Even if I have crisis feelings, I wouldn't share with T bc of how he acted last time it happened. He stopped seeing me as a person and only saw me a problem to solve, to cover his assets (at least that's how it felt to me). We've talked about and he's apologized and said he would do things differently, if there were another time./End Tangent

All of that said, the reasons I see him twice a week are because things in my life outside of therapy stink, including my marriage, my family, and my work. I also have very few friends and no family. I also have a lot of childhood trauma that has come to surface in the past six months that I have adequately grieved or even really talked about. I also have some deeply heald core beliefs that I'd like help changing. We've worked on these issues some, but not adequately for me to feel the growth I'd like. There is sill a lot of stuff that I want to fix in therapy.

Some days are still crisis days and days I feel like giving up or not going on. Those weeks, the second day is life preserving and helps me find strength to forward. Other weeks, the second visit is just a comfortable place to talk about hard things.

Therapist asked me if I thought the 2nd session per week was warranted and told me that I was his only client with whom he had that arrangement, He said we could talk about it next time. I got really emotional and told him it wasn't fair to drop something like that on the way out the door. I was so caught of guard by his question, that my initial reaction was to quit all therapy and give up. Then I wanted to agree with him and quit seeing him twice a week and not talk about it. Now I'm not sure what to do. I don't know why I feel hurt and rejected by his suggestion. I am capable of going a week between sessions, I just don't want to. Please help me understand myself, my feelings and the situation. Is t rejecting me or trying to get me to go away? Does he have an ulterior motive? Am I bad for using therapy as a place to through things? Any and all comments would be appreciated.

[Rive.]

Of course you’re not bad for wanting to go twice. If you can afford it and it is helping you, by all means keep going.

As for not knowing what to do. You write explicitly that both sessions are helpful for you (help you find strength, life preserving & comfortable - to use your words). So, please don’t give up on therapy nor on the 2nd session.

As for T’s true motives. Hard to know what is really in someone else’s head but from the conversation you reported here, it doesn’t seem like T wants to get rid of you. Instead, he seemed to be checking-in with you as in: ‘am i / is the second session helping you?’ From this perspective, if you tell him - and confirm - they are indeed helping, i don’t think he’d take this away (as that would be cruel)...

I would still discuss your fears with him though (i.e. the perceived rejection and ensuing feelings of hurt this triggered within you).

[Lauliza]

I'm sorry you feel rejected. I don't think your T is trying to push you away at all, but either thinks you're doing well or if not, trying to gage just how much therapy is helping you. The goal of therapy is that at some point you will want to go less - that is a sign of improvement, not a rejection by the T. It could be considered unethical for a T to keep a client coming twice a week indefinitely if the client doesn't need that level of care. So he may either think you're ready for less sessions and if not, wants to check on how useful he actually is for you. Has your therapy been goal directed? If not maybe that would help you feel like you're getting more out of your sessions. I would also tell him exactly what you said here. If you have these goals clearly outlined maybe you will get more out of your sessions.

[NowhereUSA]

I think talking with him about why he wants to go to one session a week would be useful. I don't think it's fair he dropped that at the last minute although perhaps he wanted you to think on it and see if you came to your own conclusions.

I saw my T for two times a week during a very very painful time. We probably did less therapy and more just support during that period. It was rarely working through things and more me sobbing uncontrollably. Once I found proper medical treatment, I've now gone to weekly again. If I were going twice a week now, I'd say it wouldn't be helpful and he might not think or realize that it's helpful to you.

I would think about why you're going twice a week and outline the reasons you find it beneficial. His goal is to help you and if he's concerned that twice a week isn't helpful then perhaps he's trying to get you to a place where he thinks therapy is effective.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Why are you upset with reducing the sessions down to once a week when you say you don’t need it? Is it fear of rejection? Abandonment? Might want to explore that with your T.