question about your hugs in therapy

Please answer the questions

1. Your gender/ T's gender
2. Have you ever hugged with your T?

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs?
4. In what situations you hug?
5. How long are hug?
6. Do you move your hands?
7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy?
8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment)
9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you?
10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment?
11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it?
12. Do hugs make you feel better?

I know there are many questions but it would be interesting to read your thoughts and answers about hugs which is so important to many of us.

I'm sorry for those who would want a hug but T refuses it, I'm in the same situation. I hope you are not triggered by reading this. I just want to analyse hug stuff a little bit.

1. T's Gender: Female

2. Have I ever hugged with my T? No, though I've only been seeing her for about 4 months. I can't say if I ever will want to or not. I currently barely make eye contact.

1. Your gender/ T's gender

im female my T is male

2. Have you ever hugged with your T?

yes

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs?

mostly me, sometimes him

4. In what situations you hug?

when i ask or he offers

5. How long are hug?

maybe like 3 seconds

6. Do you move your hands?

no
7. Do you feel Ts body while hug?

um , physically i do but im not really sure what you mean by that

8. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy?

quick and easy i guess... ?

9. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment)

no

10. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you?

no

11. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment?

no
12. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it?

no

female.
absolutely not

Just quoting stopdog because my answer is the same, right down to absolutely not.

my therapist hugs me no matter what the situation is only when im upset or no myself in front of her.





Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds : Cymbalta 60 mgs at night
Vistaril 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia

1. Your gender/ T's gender- both female
2. Have you ever hugged with your T? Lots and lots

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs? Both of us. T and I are both very huggy.
4. In what situations you hug? Just about any reason
5. How long are hug? Depends, sometimes their long as sometimes theyre short (a few seconds to a few minutes)
6. Do you move your hands? Not sure what you mean
7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy? Hug close
8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment) love, i suppose
9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you? No
10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment? No
11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it? Not sure of the question
12. Do hugs make you feel better? Yes lots better.

12. Do hugs make you feel better?

forgot this one... no, not really. we dont hug much

1. Your gender/ T's gender : Both Female.
2. Have you ever hugged with your T? : Yes

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs?
T does, she asks, and I say yes (or no depending on how I'm feeling)

4. In what situations you hug?
At the end of session

5. How long are hugs?
Varies depending on the session, but not more than 5 seconds.

6. Do you move your hands?
No.

7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy?
Close, but not creepy.

8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment)
It helps me feel like she really does care and is in the journey with me.

9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you?
No.

10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment?
No.

11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it?
No.

12. Do hugs make you feel better?
Yes. I never thought I'd say that, but I've grown to like them.

]1. Your gender/ T's gender- both female
2. Have you ever hugged with your T? Yes

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs? Initially always T..then it became mutual and nobody asks/ initiates.
4. In what situations you hug? End of every session.
5. How long are hug? Free seconds but really depends.
6. Do you move your hands? No
7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy?
8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment) no...but feel comforted and acceptance.
9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you? No
10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment? No
11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it? Not sure of the question
12. Do hugs make you feel better? Yes lots better.[/QUOTE]

T
1. female/female
2. Only once, a "Christmas hug" initiated by T (she called it that). Otherwise no touch at all. I know she hugs some of her clients (asked about it once), and I asked her about why she didn't hug me regularly. She said because I have some maternal transference, and she was concerned that hugging would intensify it. It hurt at the time, and I've thought about asking for a hug recently after a tough session, but I fear rejection too much.

Marriage counselor
1. Female/male
2. No, probably couldn't even ask for it at this point because of transference issues that have been discussed. He does shake hands at the end of a session, which is at least some sort of contact.

Please answer the questions

1. Your gender/ T's gender - both female
2. Have you ever hugged with your T? Yes - only after she watched me give birth - was in therapy for 1.5 years when that happened.

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs? Therapist always
4. In what situations you hug? When I'm sad, dissociated, end of session. Or when I tell her something great/terrible has happened.
5. How long are hug? Long. 5-10seconds
6. Do you move your hands? Yes - as in I rub her back, sometimes clutch her clothes if I'm very upset.
7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy? Very close.
8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment) I feel held together, it's very healing to be touched when you feel so dirty.
9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you? No
10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment? No
11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it? Stopped to do what?
12. Do hugs make you feel better? Most of the time.

I know there are many questions but it would be interesting to read your thoughts and answers about hugs which is so important to many of us.

I'm sorry for those who would want a hug but T refuses it, I'm in the same situation. I hope you are not triggered by reading this. I just want to analyse hug stuff a little bit.

I agree with this so much so! Exactly how I feel too!

My gender female. Therapist gender female.
I begged for a hug.
Pleaded for a hug.
Crying sobbing for a hug.
Offered extra money for a hug.
Said I would do anything in the universe for a hug.nope. No hug, ever, in 5+ years of 3-4/week therapy.

NO HUGS.

"I don't hug my clients".

😰

1. Your gender/ T's gender-- both female
2. Have you ever hugged with your T? Yes

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs? I initiated the first one, but usually she stands there with her arms open before I walk out the door. Sometimes, when I'm a bit dissociated, she'll ask me to stand up and give her a hug to get me moving.
4. In what situations you hug? at the end of every session
5. How long are hug? usually about 10 seconds, but up to 20-30 on somewhat rare occasions recently.
6. Do you move your hands? No
7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy? I guess so
8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment) not really
9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you? No
10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment? No
11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it? Stopped hugging? Yes, more times than not she is the one to end the hug
12. Do hugs make you feel better? Yes

1. Your gender/ T's gender both female
2. Have you ever hugged with your T? Yes

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs? I asked the first time, the 2nd and 3rd were mutual and just happened.
4. In what situations you hug? The first one was to say goodbye before she moved away. The 2nd/3rd ones were when she visited here this past May and we had a visit.
5. How long are hug? Short, I guess, I have no idea as I didn't time any of them.
6. Do you move your hands? Yes I tend to pat people on the back when I hug them, I don't know why that's just me.
7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy? Not sure I understand the question.
8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment) I think mostly acceptance.
9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you? No
10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment? No
11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it? Don't understand.
12. Do hugs make you feel better? Yes.

We are both females

No, no hugging. Not interested. I am a hugger though with friends family and romantic partners. Not with t

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

1. Your gender/ T's gender I'm female; T's male
2. Have you ever hugged with your T?yes

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs?It's kind of mutual I guess. Never really thought about it.
4. In what situations you hug?A variety of situations. Nothing specific or particular.
5. How long are hug?Typical hug length I guess.
6. Do you move your hands? Not that I can remember.
7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy?Never really noticed.
8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment)No
9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you?No
10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment?No
11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it?No
12. Do hugs make you feel better?Sure, I'm a big hugger.

[QUOTE=lunatic soul;4662654]Please answer the questions

1. Your gender/ T's gender
Female/male
2. Have you ever hugged with your T?
Yes

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs?
T
4. In what situations you hug?
End of every session
5. How long are hug?
I don't know... Never really though about that. Normal hug length?
6. Do you move your hands?
No
7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy?
He feels like a warm blanket honestly. It's quite lovely. I've never felt warm like that...
8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment)
Safe and warm...
9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you?
No.
10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment?
No
11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it?
No
12. Do hugs make you feel better?
Usually, sometimes I'll be too closed off to feel them properly.

Interesting questionnaire LS. Though provoking. Thanks.

1. Your gender/ T's gender : Both Female.
2. Have you ever hugged with your T? : Yes

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs?
Usually I do. I'm certainly the one who asked the first time. Now that we always hug at the end of sessions, if I don't initiate that, she will typically ask "Do you want a hug today?" However, a couple of times, when I have left the session upset (but she didn't understand that), she has hugged me anyway and I have kind of brushed her off.

4. In what situations you hug?
At the end of every session. Sometimes during sessions when I'm crying, I'm discussing something really difficult, or, at our last session in July, when she said she was sick and showed me her IV marks.

5. How long are hugs?
Short

6. Do you move your hands?
We will usually do a quick pat on the pat. No wandering hands!

7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy?
Close, but not creepy.

8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment)
They reinforce my maternal attachment to her.

9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you?
No.

10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment?
No.

11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it?
No.

12. Do hugs make you feel better?
Yes.

1. Your gender/ T's gender female/female
2. Have you ever hugged with your T? yes

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs?
T1: She did first time, I did second time.
T2: Her.

4. In what situations you hug?
T1:Only twice before long breaks -- not sure if/when we will ever see each other again
T2:In an extremely difficult session, In the last appointment before termination.

5. How long are hug?
normal hug length? hah ... when I hugged T2 for the first time in that tough session I guess it was longer...maybe a few seconds?

6. Do you move your hands?
...I don't think so?

7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy?
close

8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment)
I wouldn't say "feelings for" but I do think it demonstrates a bond and level of comfort

9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you?
never

10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment?
never

11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it?
Kind of? With T1 the first time she hugged me could have been the last time I saw her because I was leaving for a while, but I ended up coming back. That first hug didn't become a routine so I guess you could say it stopped. Nothing unexpected though.

12. Do hugs make you feel better?
Yes, but I am always too nervous to ask for one. I come off as very closed off but I really do like hugs (if they are meaningful). Especially if I am in a mood where I just feel really alone and need to be comforted just knowing someone is there really helps me feel safe and less alone.

I just got a new T so I am going to go through this whole guessing game again about whether she is pro or anti hug because I am too much of a wimp to ask straight out.

1. Your gender/ T's gender
female/male
2. Have you ever hugged with your T?
yes. tons

if Yes please answer the following questions:

3. Who initiates hugs?
T does. sometimes I do but it's rare.

4. In what situations you hug?
beginning and end of session.

5. How long are hug?
I don't know. long enough to facilitate connection but not long enough to feel unsettling.

6. Do you move your hands?
oh god no. I ain't about a "pat pat" hug. gross.

7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy?
i don't understand the question.

8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment)
not really. I like T. I like his hugs.

9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you?
no. I don't actually feel anything but safe. my brain shuts down.

10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment?
????

11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it?

12. Do hugs make you feel better?
absolutely.

I'm sorry it seems that it's hard to understand what I meant, English is not my native language and sometimes it's hard to make right sentences.

I will try to explain.
"Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy?" - I mean that sometimes we hug person for a few seconds and it's very quick, sometimes we dont even press our body against the person but sometimes we hug close that we physically feel person's body, I didn;t mean anything dirty by this, I just didn't know how to ask the question right to say what I think.

"Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it?" I mean that maybe T hugged you before and then one day s/he said that s/he won't hug you anymore or rejected you. I had that situation so I wanted to know about others.

Both of my therapists are female, and so am I. I've never hugged either of them, and I don't think I ever will. I'm not a big hugger, anyway, mostly because I've grown up in a family where physical affection really isn't a thing.

1. Your gender/ T's gender:
Female/Female
2. Have you ever hugged with your T?
Yes
3. Who initiates hugs?
The first two were initiated by her, by asking if I could handle it, if I would be okay with it. Then it transitioned into me asking, and now I don't' have to ask, they are always there if I want/need them.
4. In what situations you hug?
She hugged me at first when I needed that connection (looking back I think the first one was more for her which she has admitted to) now I ask for one if I feel I need that little bit of a reminder of connection, to feel her close, to know it's okay, to know I'll be okay, to know she still cares.
5. How long are the hugs?
Sometimes a short normal passing hug, other times it's a bit longer. If I ask for a hug when I'm highly emotional still or feeling very lost I'll cry on her shoulder and she'll hold the hug until I gather more of my wits.
6. Do you move your hands?
No. Just a tight bear hug. She'll rub my back.
7. Do hugs are close and you feel Ts body or quick and easy?
Very close.
8. Do hugs initiate feelings for T? (like attachment)
Yes and No. They don't initiate the feelings of attachment, they help to ground the attachment and let me know it's okay and it's reciprocal.
9. Do hugs initiate sexual feelings in you?
No, not at all.
10. Have you ever felt hug sexual while it happened at the moment?
No.
11. Have you ever had situation when T hugged you and then stopped to do it?
No.
12. Do hugs make you feel better?
Yes, most of the time. Sometimes they hurt because I'd like her to hug me forever and when it ends I have to walk out of the door and face the big scary world on my own.