Questions for T (assignement from T)

At my last session T gave me an assignment to think of 5 questions to ask her next session.
I told her about having conversations with other people and that I do talk to them if they ask me questions or involve me in the conversation, but if they don't then I'll stay quiet. And so she thought this would be a good and ''fun'' assignment for me.
It's probably a good excersize for me.

I asked her what kind of questions I should ask, about what should I ask. She said I can decide that.
And that makes it hard for me. I can think of several things I want to know/ask. But I'm so scared to ask a wrong question. I'm scared she will think it's weird for me to ask or to ask a question she doesn't want to answer. I'm not thinking about a specific question, I won't ask something that's isn't appropriate. But I'm scared that whatever I'll ask will be somehow wrong.
And that's why I almost never ask people questions. The only people I do ask questions are my parents and two friends. But other then with them I don't ask people with who I'm having a conversation questions.

I almost never ask my T questions. Only when I want her to clarify something she ask (because with some questions I'm afraid I didn't understand it right and then I'm afraid to give a wrong answer). Last session was the first time that I ask her if she's going away in her vacation. I never dared to ask her that, even though I'm curious about it.

Not sure what I want with this post. I want to ask her why she chose to become a therapist. I've been wanting to ask that for a long time. But I'm not sure what else. And it also feels weird to ask her things, because I almost never ask her questions.

That such an excersize can give me so much worry and anxiety.

I understand having trouble asking questions. I rarely ask them because I think it's egoistical/impolite/wrong of me to ask for answers (the way it's impolite to ask for 1000 euros, or for the shirt someone is wearing, or ...). Though I don't think it's impolite when other people ask ME stuff.

The why she became a therapist question is a good one.
Possible ideas:
What's the favorite place she's visited and/or lived in?
Embarrassing moment? (will help to humanize her!)
What she would do if she had a totally free Saturday and could do anything she wanted.
What would be the first thing (not a person or pet) she'd grab from her house if there was a fire?
What would she do as a career if she weren't a therapist?

I like your question about why your therapist made their career choice she did.
You could also ask why she decided to give you this assignment.
What was her thoughts about why this assignment is causing you so much stress.
And for the other questions, sounds like you have things you want to ask, I say ask them, there isn't really a wrong question, if she feels your question is somehow inappropriate she can just decline to answer.

How long before you see your therapist again? You could start with the above questions, then add to them. Add some, take some off until you are comfortable with the five you have.

I thought of some questions you could ask.

What is the hardest part of being a therapist?
What is the best part of being a therapist?
If you could change one thing, what would it be?
If you could conduct a session anywhere, where would it be?

I'm the exact same way regarding asking questions, which makes it hard for other people really. Generally, people like to talk about themselves and when we don't ask questions they, most often incorrectly, think we don't care. I always feel so intrusive when I ask even the simplest of questions. And I think any question I ask is wrong. I guess that's why I'm such a social mess. LOL So I think this is a good exercise. I don't think your t will think any of your questions are wrong and will be happy that you were able to actually ask. (and yep, this would be a hard exercise for me too)

[QUOTE=Cinnamon_Stick;4675955]

What is the hardest part of being a therapist?
QUOTE]

Really good question! I'd actually be really interested to know her answer to this one if you decide to ask it.
Here's some more
-Was she always a therapist or did she have a different career first
-Does she give out this particular assignment often?
-What was it like being in training and having to deal with an actual client for the first time?

Here's one I randomly asked my T
-I never see you take notes, how do you remember everything!!?

Thanks you all for your replies. I see her in 3 days.
Thanks for your suggestions for questions. I'm still not sure which one to ask, but at least I have some more questions to choose from.

That's me too. I'm interested in other people, but I'm so afraid to ask them questions, especially about them. I think of things I should or want to ask, but then I'm so afraid to be wrong and I don't ask anything.

If you're afraid to ask such deep questions about people, you can start with things like: what kind of music do you like to listen to? What television shows do you enjoy? Do you have any hobbies? Etc..

That kind of questions I do dare to ask to people, though not always. But I never get personal with people, so I don't get close to people and I don't feel close to people. But even those simple questions I'm afraid to ask my T. I want to know more about her, but at the same time I'm scared to get to know more about her, I think. And I'm scared she'll find any question I ask her stupid.

I definitely understand it being anxiety-causing asking t questions.... I finally, today, after almost 4 years, asked my t how old she is!! (she's 65, btw)

I've never asked my T anything about her. I've been seeing her now for a total of over 2.5 years, I think. I only found out her age recently because her profile on the website where she now works mentions her birthyear. And she's the age I thought she was.

Wow, I would love this assignment. I would think of the 5 hardest questions possible...

1. Tell me about the last time you jerked off, where were you, what were you fantasizing about?
2. Would you **** me if I wasn't your client?
3. Name one thing in your personal life or past history that you would not want me to know about?
4. What do you like the least about me?
5. Have you ever ****ed a client or ex-client?

I don't think my T would answer any of those questions. I had asked her again if it doesn't matter what I asked, I could ask everything. And she said ''ask me whatever you want''. Giving me no rules made me want to ask an unappropriate questions, just because she doesn't gave me any rule/boundary. But I didn't had the guts to do that.

I would ask mine what she likes least about me. In fact i think i will next time.

Sent from my LG-H345 using Tapatalk

I saw her today and I asked her two questions. There wasn't time for more. That was my fault. It took me ages to finally ask her something. I became all nervous and giggly, because it felt so weird to ask her something. Which I told her after some silence. And she said that is was understandable because she's the one who always asks questions. And after that it took me some more time before I finally ask her something.

That was why she gave me this assignment. She's always the one who asks questions and I don't. And I should ask more in therapy instead of her. Not that I should ask her things about her, but about therapy. Like how I should deal with this or how should I handle that. That kind of questions. I never ask that. I tell things and would like to know how to deal with that or something. But I just tell her my problem/issue, I don't ask how to deal with it. Or other questions.

That's something I would like to know too, but right now I'm too scared for her answer. And I also thinks that if she would answer that question, she wouldn't be totally honest, but she would give me some therapeutic bs answer and not what she really thinks.

I think at this point mine would be honest. I think i know anyway...

Sent from my LG-H345 using Tapatalk