[Raging Quiet]

I recently begun seeing a new therapist after leaving my old T, whom I saw for 10 years. I've seen other therapists in the last 10 years, even for one off sessions, and always replayed the session or parts of the session in my mind and processed it in my own way.

However I have seen my new therapist for about five sessions and find myself leaving and not thinking about it until my appointment time the next week. It's strange I seem to leave and not process anything. She is psychodynamic so presents a blank frame, however it feels weird for me.. Like it isn't helping.

Can anyone relate?

I've been talking about some personal things to her and yet don't feel like it's affecting me at all. I sort of miss thinking about a therapy session and learning insights from my reflections of it.

But your post here shows you are thinking about it.

Yeah, that's what it was like with my exT (as well as with my first T, as far as I can remember - that was 13-14 years ago.) I did not think about what we said, at all, from the moment I left until I returned a week later. I never felt that our conversations were very meaningful and interesting, and she talked too much and gave me advice, very well meant I'm sure but never very useful or relevant.

It was almost a shock to come to current T and realise that therapy could in fact feel interesting and meaningful. And much of the therapy work I do now happens between sessions, without my T. He is psychodynamic just like exT, but neither of them presented a blank slate approach as I understand it. ExT was not at all incompetent, just a bad match for me. Do you think something similar could be true for you?

[Petra5ed]

Do you think your prior reflections could have been motivated by something less pure say, like self-consciousness? I only ask because this is one of my standard mental states actually, LOL, it's the state of self-consciousness after social interactions which only comes up when I really care what the other person thinks of me, where I berate myself for all my little mistakes, and wonder if the other person liked me. I think I do this with my therapy sessions! I'll leave and drive home in this evaluation state and think of what I should have said or how I should have been more open or said thank you or whatever. However, it is also very possible that I could have a social interaction with a person I completely don't care about and walk away and not think of it again.

For me having a blank slate therapist would allow me to share a lot more, but there is something that would get too cold feeling about that for me.

[stopdog]

I have no odea what processing means. But I rarely think about the appointment unless the therapist has screwed something up.

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

But your post here shows you are thinking about it.

More so about the insights, revelations etc I've learned. Obviously I acknowledge that I attended therapy. I suppose I'm talking about processing the session material.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I have no odea what processing means. But I rarely think about the appointment unless the therapist has screwed something up.

For some reason that word drives me mental.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

My memory is awful. When I am in a really bad state of mind its even worse. I record my sessions and then later on that night when I am at home, I listen to them again and write down everything that we both said in my therapy journal and then reflect on it. Its helped more than relying on my memory.

[Favorite Jeans]

RQ do I remember correctly that you have a little baby?
You might just now have the mental real estate to devote to mulling over your last session if you're sleep deprived and constantly looking after a baby.
(And sorry in advance if I mixed you up with someone else and you do not in fact have a baby

[unaluna]

I just try to work really hard and be very present for the time i am with my t. If i feel embarrassed to say something, i try to push myself to say it, etc. And just really engage with him.

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans

RQ do I remember correctly that you have a little baby?
You might just now have the mental real estate to devote to mulling over your last session if you're sleep deprived and constantly looking after a baby.
(And sorry in advance if I mixed you up with someone else and you do not in fact have a baby

FJ, yes, you are right! That may be it. Baby is feeding every two hours and been a major source of my anxiety.. Lots of sleepless nights. Seeing t is the only hour I actually brush my hair! I miss being away from the baby whilst I'm there.

Thank you for your help.

[iheartjacques]

I think I think way too much in between sessions. Sometimes I'm glad it's a couple of weeks apart so I get to get it out of my head and get on with things for a few days.

[Favorite Jeans]

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

FJ, yes, you are right! That may be it. Baby is feeding every two hours and been a major source of my anxiety.. Lots of sleepless nights. Seeing t is the only hour I actually brush my hair! I miss being away from the baby whilst I'm there.

Thank you for your help.

Congratulations on the baby! It's kind of a foggy time, those first few months. I'm sure you're a very loving mom and your baby is getting all they need. It doesn't help to tell you not to be anxious but it might help to remember that all that anxiety is some weird evolutionary mechanism to ensure your baby is well cared-for. It's not personal. It's not a reflection of your shortcomings.