When T says they care do they actually mean it?

AllHeart · Sep 22, 2015, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by qwertykeyboard

There have been a couple of times when my T has said "I care" when I say that nobody cares. But is this just to make me feel better or do they actually care? Can a T really CARE about a client? To me, caring about someone would mean that theyd visit in the hospital if i were sick, send a christmas/birthday card, ask them how they're doing outside of a set 45m session/week. I feel like caring about someone means that you'd want to go out of your way to help someone. How can you care about someone if theyre paying you $$ every week? I just don't understand.

Can a T really care about a client? Of course they can. Doesn't mean all T's do, but certainly some of them genuinely care about their clients. I know my T cares about me because I can feel it when I am with her, I can see it in her actions, hear it in her words, and see it in her eyes. People show their care for one another in different ways. T's are no exception.

As for not understanding how someone can care if they are being paid, I look at the situation like this -- Could someone pay you to genuinely care for someone else? No. True feelings cannot be bought in anyone or in any profession. Yes, T's are paid. They are paid to help people with their problems. I gladly pay my T for her time, expertise, and help each and every week. The genuine care I receive from my T that wound up coming with the deal is a priceless bonus.

Tearinyourhand · Sep 22, 2015, 10:45 AM

my T totally cares. now that doesn't mean it always comes in the packaging I think I want nor does it mean I can always feel his care, but that's what I'm working on as a part of my trauma treatment. when I provided direct services I cared deeply about my clients. even the challenging ones. especially the challenging ones. my heart seem to expand to create space to contain all resistence and i just tried hold the space. I believe my therapist is this way with me. he's said so and I'm learning to accept his care.

Myrto · Sep 22, 2015, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

My marriage counselor recently explained to me that he and my T (and p-doc) care about me, which is why they were considering whether I needed an increased level of treatment. I believe him because I can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. I certainly don't think he cares about me on the same level as his kids or wife, but there's definitely caring there. The same with my T--though she hasn't come out and said it, I can tell in the way she interacts with me and how occasionally she'll tear up when I'm telling her something. Yes, I pay both of them, but I don't think that's what it's about. If I was only a paycheck to them, I think I'd sense that. I feel like people get into the therapy field because they're especially caring and empathic in general. So they're more likely to genuinely care about their clients. At least that's what I choose to believe...

I disagree. Some may care a lot sure and that's why they entered the profession. Others just love the theory and are fascinated by how the human brain works.
They don't necessarily care about their patients, the same way a lot of doctors enter the medical field because they're interested in how the body works, not because they want to heal people.
The idea that therapists are intrinsically empathetic people is false imo.
Some are of course. Not all.

emptyspace · Sep 22, 2015, 05:18 PM

They don't care. They have to practice unconditional positive regard and empathy to build a "relationship." The therapeutic relationship is the vehicle for change.

Some therapists show this regard with actions, some with words, some with both, but it is all part of the game to create and maintain a positive relationship.
Without a positive relationship, therapy would not work and clients would not keep coming back.

Menu

When T says they care do they actually mean it?

My Support Forums