[Teddy:)]

Has anyone experienced a breakdown in your client/T relationship? If so what did it look like and how did you work through it?

[musinglizzy]

I'm in that boat now. I just go, and try to push myself through it. I have not been able to work through it yet....

["Tilly may"]

Yes but it was one sided. I became attracted to her so much so that i couldn't handle going to therapy anymore. It was not healthy for me. I am a married woman.

Yes. There was this one session where she said something that sounds SO much like my mother that I completely pulled away from her but couldn't admit it was happening. I did admit it during the next session and we talked about it. Talking about it is always the only thing that helps. We had one rupture after which I was miserable for 3 days until I tucked my tail between my legs and called her to apologize for my part in it and we talked it through and our t relationship became stronger after that. Talking through these things with her even though it's hard is the only thing that's worked for me.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Yes it has happened to me. My T said a couple things in an email that really upset and bothered me. We talked about it in our next session. Then she decided to change how we email and that really bothered me. We talked about that as well and now I see that the email changes were for the best and it has made us closer and more connected. She always has my best interest at heart and I didn't see that before.

[Bayblue]

In our most recent session I was telling my T about some difficult memories around my recovery from an accident, and her response to them was kind of pale and automatic. She just said' Oh that sounds difficult" or something vague and not really engaged.

I felt foolish for telling her, like I was looking for some comfort and didn't get it. Made me not want to talk to her anymore. It was the last session before a break, so I wonder if she was just trying to keep things light. I'd rather not have the session at all.

[dapplebay]

My T sent me to psych emergency and I got put on a 51/50 and was in the hospital for two weeks. I lost my trust in her for a minute. It was horrible and it was because i have severe attachment issues and I was having trouble leaving the session and she had a client after me. I remember calling her and calling her like crazy in the hospital because I wanted to talk to her. Ugh I don't even want to think about that. And at that time i was seeing her twice a week and when I got out of the hospital she refused to let me go back to twice a week sessions because she was afraid I would end up having these horrible shut downs when leaving for the weekend and I was FURIOUS. I have borderline and very bad attachment issues and seeing her once a week was not cutting it for me and she wouldn't let me see her twice a week and I was having a break down. Now I'm a little better and at twice a week now but she's on vacation so of course the borderline in me is furious with her

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[ThisWayOut]

I try to talk them through when they happen. If I can't talk about it, I will write it out and give it to t to read, then we talk About it. Just a few sessions ago, I asked t to be a but more directive and "pushy" if I got stuck during session. Then when it happened the next session, I realized I got mad at her. I wrote about it afterward and then we talked about it last session. We'll see where we stand on it next session.

I've found, for me, most of my ruptures happen because I get triggered. I react the way I would have to the abusive people in my life, and I interpret t's words or actions as I would their's. If we can talk about the ruptures, I tend to get a better picture of where they originate and why. I've also had really awesome t's who responded really well to me bringing up my feelings about therapy or what's happening in the room. None of them refused to see me anymore or blew the reactions out of proportion. They have all been willing to hear what i'm saying and to work on it. I know that is not the case with all t relationships though...

[LonesomeTonight]

I've had a couple with my T and one big one with my marriage counselor. With my T, the first time, I waited until the next session to talk about it. The other time (a more minor one), I e-mailed her immediately after the session, she wrote right back, and it was resolved very quickly.

With my MC, it was a several-week process (wrote about it at length on here when it happened). When it first happened, I left a sobbing voicemail, then later that night sent him a lengthy e-mail outlining why I was upset (like I actually included bullet points). Then we discussed it next session, and I thought it felt resolved. A couple days later, I realized I was still upset, so we discussed it more the next session. Again, after a few days, felt upset again. So the next session, I laid out for him more clearly why I was upset, and he finally seemed to admit that he'd hurt me and that he'd made a mistake. I think that's what I needed to hear, so after that, our relationship basically returned to its usual close, secure, safe place.

[ruh roh]

I think I've had breakdowns in the relationship, but they only tended to happen when I was in total despair and my perceptions were colored by how I was feeling about myself and my life. In those cases, I just had to bring myself back around to what I knew to be true about how my therapist shows up for me. There may have been a couple of times that actually had to do with something she said or did that she was responsible for, and she apologized each time, sincerely. I don't count those as breakdowns, though, because they were resolved when my therapist said and/or did something to remedy the situation.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Yes. She pretty much left me after 5 yrs, broke my heart, and I broke.

Never had a hiccup before that. I loved her and wouldn't have argued over anything she said. This is unhealthy I know.