I'm hoping that I'll become more secure over time, I'm wondering if this has happened to others?

[JustShakey]

Short answer. Yes, I have.

[SkyscraperMeow]

Yes.

(And eight more characters.)

[AllHeart]

It took a while, but yes.

[ruh roh]

Yes. It surprised me to realize this, but I can see how it's helpful to have something stable to build on for real life outside of therapy. I have no idea how it happened, though.

Most definitely, yes.

Definitely. I'm still not 100% there yet, but I have already become immeasurably more secure in the relationship than I was in the start.

[stopdog]

I have come to limit woman to what I think she has the best shot at being useful and I restrict her from areas she tends to screw up - does that count?

[Gavinandnikki]

I think that whenever we pay for a service, we have to think was it worth it.

My 5 + years of psychoanalysis was pricey. In many ways, I would say, no, it wasn't worth the financial price.

But, I learned so much about why I am the way I am and why and how I think about myself and my relationships. I'm not sure what price or cost can be tied to that knowledge.

I'm not really sure.

I was very close to my therapist. Very secure in my relationship with her. It just took me a very long time to realize that I wasn't going to have the relationship with her that I thought I wanted.

It was very complex, for me.

Yes, true for me.

[LonesomeTonight]

Yes, for both T and marriage counselor, but there have also been things that happened that made me take a few steps back and feel less secure. But those were dealt with, and ultimately, I'm definitely more secure with both than, say, a year ago.

[spring2014]

hi brown owl,
I would yes .my relationship with my therapist is very secure since I been seeing her for a year now. I feel that my relationship with my therapist is helping me to cope better than I was last year. even though I would call her from time to time to help me with a problem or s feeling that I have inside of me that are bottled up ,she lets me express my feelings with her to help me to resolve the issues at hand .









Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds : Cymbalta 90mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by Brown Owl

I'm hoping that I'll become more secure over time, I'm wondering if this has happened to others?

I would bet you'll become more secure over time. I know I did.

I read an article once, "Finding a therapist is like finding your soulmate," and wondered if there was something wrong with my T/ with me because I didn't have some mystically good rapport or whatever the therapeutic equivalent of 'love at first sight' is.

Now I'm glad I stuck it out. I mean, human relationships are kind of messy in general, right? And if you have trouble relating to people in general, why would it be radically different with your T?

Anyway, I found that navigating difficulties actually strengthened my relationship with my T. Alliances are built over time.

Of course, if your T actively creeps you out or anything like that, you might want to shop around.

Take care.

[NowhereUSA]

Yes.

The long and the short of it was that getting my depression (after 20+ years) properly treated helped correct my distorted self-perception. My T has also done a good job of helping me realize that for the most part a T is a guide, not a miracle worker. I may be very attached to him but anyone competent can sit in his chair because I'm the one doing the work. And so, while I would be quite wounded if he dumped me tomorrow (because hey, it's been nearly seven years), I know what I need and I would seek out another therapist to help me complete my journey.

For those relationships that are enduring (friendships and my marriage), I've come to see that my depression made my missteps and mistakes bigger and my contributions smaller. In truth, I give and I take just as my friends and my husband do as well and we all have to work at relationships.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Yes, it took me a long time to get there though.

[ejayy78]

Yes. It took a while, and our relationship is always improving & becoming more secure.

[feralkittymom]

I don't think I'd characterize it as more secure because I never felt it was insecure. I do think the relationship grew deeper, intellectually and emotionally, and that continues post therapy.

[laxer12]

Yes and it's still a work in progress.

[PinkFlamingo99]

With my old one, I got worse and worse over 5 yrs as the stakes (the possibility of getting hurt) grew. I kept trying to get over it and then she left and broke my heart anyway.

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

With my old one, I got worse and worse over 5 yrs as the stakes (the possibility of getting hurt) grew. I kept trying to get over it and then she left and broke my heart anyway.

That's kind of what happened with my ex-T - it got worse over time. I saw her for a period of months not years.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I have come to limit woman to what I think she has the best shot at being useful and I restrict her from areas she tends to screw up - does that count?

I'm not sure that it does. If you were feeling less anxious now about going that would count (I remember you saying you feel anxious about going).

Originally Posted by Gavinandnikki

I think that whenever we pay for a service, we have to think was it worth it.

My 5 + years of psychoanalysis was pricey. In many ways, I would say, no, it wasn't worth the financial price.

But, I learned so much about why I am the way I am and why and how I think about myself and my relationships. I'm not sure what price or cost can be tied to that knowledge.

I'm not really sure.

I was very close to my therapist. Very secure in my relationship with her. It just took me a very long time to realize that I wasn't going to have the relationship with her that I thought I wanted.

It was very complex, for me.

I've been wondering if I want to go twice a week (it might help me to be more secure), but I'm not sure if I'd consider it worth the price, it feels like a huge amount to pay, is the therapy going to be helpful enough to make it worth it?

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Brown Owl

I'm not sure that it does. If you were feeling less anxious now about going that would count (I remember you saying you feel anxious about going).

I suppose I am somewhat less anxious because I have gotten the woman contained to an area where I understand what she is doing and where she screws it up less than before. I no longer throw up every week before appointments. But I believe therapists are wily so I remain vigilent.

[AnxiousGirl]

Not 100% but from 0 to 60% in a year.

I think we only become secure 'within ourselves' as we work through our issues that caused us to dred insecurity.