Has anyone done this? How much detail did you include?
When I last emailed with T1 back in May he said "let me know how the studies progress (if you want to of course)"

Of course I really do want to. I think it's too soon at the moment because I'm only two weeks into my course and I don't have that much to report yet, but I'm already thinking about what I might write. I don't know how much detail to include about how I am personally, my current therapy, or whether I should just talk about the studies.
Have your experiences been positive of contacting a therapist after therapy with them has ceased? Anybody been disappointed by the response? He invited me to email him so I hope he will respond positively!

Any input on what I should include/omit would be greatly appreciated.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I had a T I would write to once a year for 10 years. This year is the first year she didn't respond back That's okay. I can let her go now.

Anyways, I wrote to her about everything. The only thing I did was to not seek support in anyway. She still cared, but I had to remember she's no longer my T.

I'd say write whatever you'd like. Don't just whine and complain about things. Don't ask for anything in return except maybe a reply. But feel free to include how you're doing in your daily life: good or bad. You can even tell him how grateful you are to him. You aren't strangers. Just remember he's not your T anymore either.

Thanks Scarlet. That's a good point about not using him for support. I'm kinda glad you think it's ok to talk about how I'm doing because I do want to update him, but I don't want to be like "look how well I'm doing with my new T compared with you!" because I am doing much better than I was then.
I really would like to say I miss him, but I don't know whether that would be inappropriate?

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

Thanks Scarlet. That's a good point about not using him for support. I'm kinda glad you think it's ok to talk about how I'm doing because I do want to update him, but I don't want to be like "look how well I'm doing with my new T compared with you!" because I am doing much better than I was then.
I really would like to say I miss him, but I don't know whether that would be inappropriate?

I don't think it would be inappropriate - it's the truth. I imagined be he'd be touched to hear it?

[Favorite Jeans]

I think he'd be happy to hear that you're doing better. I doubt that he attributes how you're doing now to your current T just as he probably didn't attribute it to himself when you were doing poorly before.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Saying you miss him wouldn't be inappropriate. And your T would love to hear you're doing well. Therapy only works if you put in the effort, right. Your successes are yours, not your Ts.

You might also want to be polite and simply ask how he's doing.

[Soccer mom]

I asked my T. if I could tell her when two things occur: when I forgive my mom and when my dad passes away. I asked if I could text her and she asked why would I text that when normally I would call. So, she said to call. I want it to be awhile because I think the call could actually be hard for me.

I've also thought about writing her a letter after a year to let her know what has happened so far. She expects me to make more progress with the next T. so I don't think it's inappropriate to say how you've improved.

[Petra5ed]

Several months ago I did this for the first time. I found out my first therapist had retired, and I was kind of sad about it because I had in the back of my mind I might go back and see her again. I found her email online and wasn't sure if it was even a good way to contact her anymore, but I wrote her anyways.

I sent a short and sweet email, of course I wasn't sure if she would even get it so I might have spent more time if I knew she certainly would. I thanked her, told her what she meant to me, and gave her some updates on my life all of which was big picture stuff. The entire email was only 3-4 paragraphs I think, not long. I sent it and forgot about it.

Weeks later she did reply to me and said she didn't check that email frequently but she finally saw my email and was happy to hear from me. She gave me several short and sweet updates on her life as well, like she moved, that she was retired, etc. She also said that I had thanked her before too but she still appreciated it. It was a nice email and made me feel cared about, and happy that she remembered me and thought enough to reply. I replied to that one with another paragraph or two and a couple pictures. She replied back quicker this time, and said thanks for the pictures and wished me well. So in my experience it was pretty short and sweet. This was a therapist though that I had only had a relationship with for about a year, and only maybe 10 or so sessions since I was pretty wishy washy about needing therapy then.

Oh, and I did say I was with a new therapist and that I was in love with him, LOL. She said she figured as much and was happy for me .

Thanks, it sounds like it can be a positive experience. I'll have to do it a day or two before therapy in case it brings all the transference rushing to the surface! I don't think my feelings for him have lessened at all over the last 10 months, only the way I deal with them and how they affect me has changed.

[Leah123]

I wrote to my first counselor 20 years after the fact. I hadn't known how to contact her prior as there was no Facebook or anything when we parted. I wrote her to thank her for her life-changing influence and about my progress in big-picture things- working on my degree, motherhood, etc. She sent me a lovely reply, just a paragraph or two I think, telling me how well she remembered me and complimenting me and it absolutely made my week.

[Coco3]

I have, very recently. When I finished therapy, my T asked me to let him know how I was doing after 6 months or so.

I emailed him last week. I thought about calling, because it would be nice to hear his voice and speak to him, but I can express myself better in writing. And I wanted to make sure to tell everything I needed him to know.

Even though I didn't write much details, it was a long email. I told him I was doing well, that I'm still making progress and learning new things. I also wrote how I struggled the first months after saying goodbye and how I missed him (and that I still do sometimes).

I asked for a reply and I got it the next day already. He wrote that he was impressed with all the progress I made and how I handled the grieving process. He also said he was proud and that he'd always thought highly of me. It was a very sweet email and I was happy to receive it. I got emotional about it too. I'm not that attached anymore, I've almost let him go, but sometimes it still hits me. It threw me off balance for a couple of days.

Originally Posted by Coco3

I have, very recently. When I finished therapy, my T asked me to let him know how I was doing after 6 months or so.

I emailed him last week. I thought about calling, because it would be nice to hear his voice and speak to him, but I can express myself better in writing. And I wanted to make sure to tell everything I needed him to know.

Even though I didn't write much details, it was a long email. I told him I was doing well, that I'm still making progress and learning new things. I also wrote how I struggled the first months after saying goodbye and how I missed him (and that I still do sometimes).

I asked for a reply and I got it the next day already. He wrote that he was impressed with all the progress I made and how I handled the grieving process. He also said he was proud and that he'd always thought highly of me. It was a very sweet email and I was happy to receive it. I got emotional about it too. I'm not that attached anymore, I've almost let him go, but sometimes it still hits me. It threw me off balance for a couple of days.

I remember your posts about how hard the ending was, it's nice to hear that he sent you such a lovely reply.