[Leah123]

Hello all,

It's been a while since I saw a thread like this and it's so easy amidst the difficulties of therapy to lose sight of the positive, I'm starting one again.

If you want to share something positive you've done for yourself, something you've gained, something you've made peace with, etc. through therapy, this is the place.



One I noticed the other day was that when my husband Skyped and asked me how I was doing, I told him the truth, even though the truth was that I'd been having an anxiety attack and struggled to get things done because of it.

It dawned on me later that two+ years ago, when I was starting therapy, I never would have let myself be vulnerable enough to do that. I was so scared to talk about any negative feelings or experiences I had, that I always wanted to make everything sound perfect and under control. An insecurity and fear based response. Being able to open up to him in particular, which has been a process, has been really... illuminating and rewarding.

[RedSun]

This is a nice thread, thanks Leah

So, I realised today, reading your post, that I have actually been off antidepressants for 8 months! And I'm okay! I'm sure so much of that is down to therapy...though obviously I'd rather poke myself in the eye with a blunt stick than admit that to T

[Leah123]

Wow, that is awesome!!!!!!!!! and nah, don't give her the satisfaction, it can be our secret here on the forum.

I also begrudge sharing progress with my T at times, lol.

[DelusionsDaily]

Handling the nerves of a new job orientation tomorrow...pretty well. Definitely because of therapy.

[Leah123]

Congratulations!!!

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Therapy has helped me so much. I used to have such a hard time communicating with people and getting my needs by people met. I know communicate very well and talk about my needs. I put so much effort into my relationship with my T, so I put the same effort in with my husband and other friendships. I keep a journal so I can track my moods and how I am feeling. I never used to track anything. I have learned to think about saying something that could be life changing. Therapy has been one of the best things to ever happen to me.

[Polarbunny]

Depression test score is a bit lower from 69 to 60. Started exercising with fitbit. Walked my legs off the weekend and won my first challenge.

[LindaLu]

Good thread, Leah.

Despite an ugly rupture with T, I remain grateful she got me to "test reality" with certain people and situations. Sometimes I was right, other times she was, but the exercises were worthwhile and she was supportive when I felt weak or foolish.

[Daystrom]

A few months into therapy, I made the decision to extricate myself from a bad situation I'd been living with for years. One day, all of a sudden, a light clicked on over my head and something told me "you don't HAVE to do this anymore." I look back now and am startled to realize how I could have taken care of this problem any time I'd wanted to. I like to think therapy helped me dig up some long-buried perspective.

[divine1966]

I've met a man who is nothing like my father. I know it probably sounds stupid but my whole life I attracted men who are clones of my father, which is pretty much bad.

Through therapy and help of my t I finally figured out what's wrong with these men, learned how to recognize it and how let it go early on. As t says growth starts with awareness.

When I've met this guy I told my t that I finally met a man who isn't like my dad and we laughed about it ( a bit of inside joke)

I don't know if he is the one but at least I know there are men who aren't like my dad! When I was ready to give up t kept saying that there are healthier men out there and I'll meet them. Also t is the only person who knows the issue

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[PinkFlamingo99]

Thank you Leah!

Today I went to see my opthamologist for the first time in a long time and was completely honest about the compulsive SI I do to my eyes. This was at the encouragement of my new psychologist.

She said aside from badly scratched corneas and scratched/swollen eyelids, I haven't done any permanent damage (yet). She was very very understanding and glad I'm in outpatient treatment at thr hospital. We're meeting again in 2 months to see if the scratching/swelling is gone and if so she will give me prescription eye drops to get rid of all the "goo" in them from years and years of trauma (close to 20, but worse in past 3-4).

I'm making enough progress with stopping doing it to try to heal them now. Plus seeing her in 2 months is added incentive to not do it. It was very hard to tell her about this, esp as she is not a MH professional but she was kind and understanding.

[divine1966]

All of Your posts on this thread bring tears to my eyes. Hang in there guys. You are all so strong.

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[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

Thank you Leah!

Today I went to see my opthamologist for the first time in a long time and was completely honest about the compulsive SI I do to my eyes. This was at the encouragement of my new psychologist.

She said aside from badly scratched corneas and scratched/swollen eyelids, I haven't done any permanent damage (yet). She was very very understanding and glad I'm in outpatient treatment at thr hospital. We're meeting again in 2 months to see if the scratching/swelling is gone and if so she will give me prescription eye drops to get rid of all the "goo" in them from years and years of trauma (close to 20, but worse in past 3-4).

I'm making enough progress with stopping doing it to try to heal them now. Plus seeing her in 2 months is added incentive to not do it. It was very hard to tell her about this, esp as she is not a MH professional but she was kind and understanding.

TRIGGER******
You were cutting your eyes? How?

[Leah123]

Awe, I just had a sweet one come up-

my daughter was in the dining room, picked up a jar of money and said we should donate it-

the jar, now dusty, was what I labeled our "learning to be loving" jar, my version of a swear jar,

and I had to reflect that it was really progress that we weren't using it anymore.

(Also a good reminder to me to keep watching my mouth!)

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

TRIGGER******
You were cutting your eyes? How?

Possible trigger:

I don't cut them. I scrape at them with my fingernails, under the eyelids which causes them to kind of create thick mucus which I scrape off the insides of my top and bottom eyelids and my eyes underneath the eyelids. I pull my lower ones down and put my fingers under them to do this and either do thr same thing or flip my upper ones inside out. Sometimes I Scrape and pick at them for 8 hrs straight instead of sleeping. It hurts really really badly but I wouldn't stop. Before I started working on this I was probably doing it at least 40 hours a week. My eyes were often swollen/infected/so blurry I could barely see my computer at work, I would need to use a warm cloth to get them "unglued" in the morning from all the dried mucusy stuff. Psych said it was kind of comparable to something like dermatillomanis but also kind of more SI.

[junkDNA]

i walked into work to get my schedule and my coworkers were there and they were happy to see me. it made me feel good. it took me a loooong time to finally be myself around them and drop my guard, but now i feel comfortable there. before my good therapist and in my teens i couldnt hold a job more than 2-3 months because i would give up.

[Leah123]

These are great to read!!! Thank you all, please keep sharing.

One for me today was staying calm as my daughter had an explosion, she has some behavioral challenges. I was able to be constructive, accepting and nurturing, imperfect but good, and progress on her part too- she followed my instructions this time and then on her own initiative, called and apologized to the friend she'd yelled at afterward.

In the past, before therapy, her tantrums were more frequent and even bordering on violent, and would often rile me up- I would lose control of the situation, getting so upset or worried I wasn't helping her as well. Things are easier now and I can keep perspective better so it doesn't seem so much like her losing control of her emotions is apocalyptic, because when I grew up, I had to keep all my emotions stifled and I never could fathom acting as openly as my kiddo does.

Originally Posted by Leah123

These are great to read!!! Thank you all, please keep sharing.

One for me today was staying calm as my daughter had an explosion, she has some behavioral challenges. I was able to be constructive, accepting and nurturing, imperfect but good, and progress on her part too- she followed my instructions this time and then on her own initiative, called and apologized to the friend she'd yelled at afterward.

In the past, before therapy, her tantrums were more frequent and even bordering on violent, and would often rile me up- I would lose control of the situation, getting so upset or worried I wasn't helping her as well. Things are easier now and I can keep perspective better so it doesn't seem so much like her losing control of her emotions is apocalyptic, because when I grew up, I had to keep all my emotions stifled and I never could fathom acting as openly as my kiddo does.

I can really identify with what you say here. Since I started therapy when my daughter has a teenage tantrum I deal with it so much better now. I have never discussed how to deal with them with my T. I kind of feel like I've followed my Ts example of how she stays with me when I'm feeling a lot of emotion. And maybe it just doesn't upset me as much as it used to. When I was a kid I also kept my emotions hidden. I think it is a good thing that our kids express their emotions.

[granite1]

these are nice to read

[LindaLu]

I've made friends with a couple neat but oddball people whom I would have otherwise run away from. I told my ex-T that therapy has helped me open up and share appropriately.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by Leah123

These are great to read!!! Thank you all, please keep sharing.

One for me today was staying calm as my daughter had an explosion, she has some behavioral challenges. I was able to be constructive, accepting and nurturing, imperfect but good, and progress on her part too- she followed my instructions this time and then on her own initiative, called and apologized to the friend she'd yelled at afterward.

In the past, before therapy, her tantrums were more frequent and even bordering on violent, and would often rile me up- I would lose control of the situation, getting so upset or worried I wasn't helping her as well. Things are easier now and I can keep perspective better so it doesn't seem so much like her losing control of her emotions is apocalyptic, because when I grew up, I had to keep all my emotions stifled and I never could fathom acting as openly as my kiddo does.

This is great! Your daughter is lucky to have you to help her with these situations!

I followed my heart in June and began training to be a Reiki practitioner. Never in a million years would I have done this if not for therapy! And I am loving it. If I had even had a thought about doing something like this pre-therapy, I would have let all my negative self-talk drown it out. The negative self-talk is still there, not sure it ever goes away completely, but I am learning how to tell it to be quiet, and was able to do that in this case.

Speaking of which. Perhaps it's just my negative self-talk that's making me think I shouldn't be doing this Olympian thing at work. Will focus today on telling that voice to hush up so I can look at things the way they really are instead of how that negative voice says they are.

Thank you for this thread, Leah.

[PinkFlamingo99]

I am keeping my fingers out of my eyes and am using the drops.

I'm following my safety plan and haven't cut in a week and a half.

[Leah123]

It's lovely to see all the strides you all have made. Keep it up and keep posting!

[DelusionsDaily]

Work orientations done....check
Pants and shirts for work purchased... Check
Slip resistant shoes purchased...
Start work wednesday.....

Super excited!!