[JaneTennison1]

One of the most disconcerting parts of therapy was the fact T always seemed so pleased whenever I had a big week or a big breakthrough even though I was in a lot of pain from it. I hated this part so much. Please don't be happy at my life falling apart and me feeling as though I am drowning

I hated it and constantly reminded her there was a human being in pain behind every wonderful breakthrough moment.

[ejayy78]

I have a hard time when my t is happy with me. Whether she's happy about a breakthrough or something small like telling her what emotion I'm feeling. I usually just brush it off and make sure we continue rather than dwell on the happiness because, like you, I still feel like I'm falling apart inside and her happy reactions make me feel awkward.

Me too! I think its a pretty sick profession to get so happy and satisfied - to know you have a done a good job when you have made your customer feel so awful.

I've not experienced this with my T. But I experienced my mother's sadistic pleasure in my suffering. I've often relived this with therapy

[Ellahmae]

When I have a breakthrough and insight and T gets all smiley and happy it almost makes me feel worse like it overshadows the fact that I'm still not better, I'm still falling apart. Like she expects me to be 'better' because I thought something through or did a different response to something in my outside life. I guess therein lies the answer "I think she expects". She doesn't. She is happy for me in that moment with that moment but still understands the pain but wants me to see that I can continue to grow and be better in some small, often tiny areas, and still be hurting and confused and in pain. I think I might bring this up with her. Thank you for the thread.

[Walking Man]

I experienced the same thing and it made me uncomfortable, like I should be happy but I was upset. It kind of challenged me because I was owning my negative feelings, then she gets happy and I feel like I need to be happy too. This makes me feel like she's forcing me to be happy (although she's not).

On the other side, if I were a therapist and someone made some improvement I imagine I would be happy, especially if it was something they've been struggling with for a long time.

I've never experienced my T's happiness at my progress as being about being happy I was suffering AT ALL. On the contrary, it was always very clear that it concerned him and worried him and caused him a certain amount of distress to see me suffering. Where his happiness came in was in those times that, despite however horrible things had gotten for me, I persevered, I utilized what healthy means I had to get through that suffering, and I managed to get through that distressing time, often discovering valuable insight about myself and my situation in the process. He absolutely never wanted me to suffer and didn't cause my suffering in any way, but he was grateful that I made it through and beyond that suffering.

[Bipolar Warrior]

I've never experienced this either. The only times I've seen my university therapist pleased are the times when I have acknowledged my problems and we have talked about how to work through them. It has never been during a breakthrough of the painful kind, because those are tough for both of us. And my private therapist is very gentle and kind with all of her responses; I've never seen her have any extreme reactions one way or the other, really. Gives me a sense of comfort, in a way.

I had a breakthrough with my university therapist last week, actually, and it was a particularly difficult session. I was really struggling with something, but when I came out on the other side of it she didn't smile and act happy - she started crying. Told me she was proud of me. That meant a lot.

However, I don't think therapists are happy because their clients come to painful realisations; I think they are happy because change is happening, and that's what they're there for. They are there to make us realise these things that are destructive and cause us pain, and once we do they can help us deal with it and hopefully enable us to move on. And maybe they smile in an attempt to keep our spirits up? Maybe it is meant to be encouraging? Whatever it is, though it's clear that it doesn't always work (lol), I'm sure their intentions are good!

[Cinnamon_Stick]

It drives me nuts when my T gets all happy and excited that I had a good week or that something good was going on. I have to constantly tell her not to get so excited because I am not better just because I had a good week or day or whatever.

[Myrto]

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

It drives me nuts when my T gets all happy and excited that I had a good week or that something good was going on. I have to constantly tell her not to get so excited because I am not better just because I had a good week or day or whatever.

Same. Once in a while, because it's cant be **** ALL THE TIME, I have a somewhat good day. It doesn't mean that suddenly my depression has been cured. Hence why I don't tell my T about those good days or she'll assume I'm not that bad.