[musinglizzy]

I'm trying to distract myself from some things going on here at home tonight....

I'm curious, what do you feel you NEED from your therapist, and do you get it?

I'm one who has a hard time identifying and admitting I have needs, it's been a battle my whole life. I honestly am not always sure what I "need."

Thanks for any feedback!

[stopdog]

The only need I can think of are confidentiality and for the woman to stay back. Staying back is serious for me - I could not deal with one who I felt suffocated by.

[yagr]

I need to see a pdoc for sleep meds that my primary doesn't feel confident about prescribing. Having a therapist is a prerequisite for seeing the pdoc so - I need continued access to the pdoc from him.

[Permacultural]

I need answers when I ask, "what can I do about this situation".

Originally Posted by Permacultural

I need answers when I ask, "what can I do about this situation".

I didn't think was part of a Ts job. I thought they were suppose to guide you through the process of finding the answers yourself. After all they are not a friend.

[Pennster]

I need help in figuring out practical ways to deal with post-traumatic stress. My therapist has a lot of suggestions on this and they have been very helpful. My first round of therapy was totally non-directive, which was pretty damaging for me, since the main thing we did was bring up all these memories of trauma and then I floundered around having absolutely no idea what to do with them, and no idea how to take care of myself, and my first therapist seemed averse to even giving me any hints.

I also need compassion from him, which has been surprisingly useful as a means to start being kinder to myself. And I need a lot of space just to express myself and figure stuff out. Plus I need to feel like he's willing to help me, which he is.

[musinglizzy]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

I didn't think was part of a Ts job. I thought they were suppose to guide you through the process of finding the answers yourself. After all they are not a friend.

Mine sort of thinks that way. Rather than "give advice," she'd like me to come up with my own solution, and then we talk about it.

I NEED to feel connected to my T. I don't know why. And I don't.

[Permacultural]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

I didn't think was part of a Ts job. I thought they were suppose to guide you through the process of finding the answers yourself. After all they are not a friend.

Depends on the nature of the problem I suppose. If I'm having PTSD dreams for instance, I need techniques to try, that have been shown to work, without medication, to sleep without the dreams.

Or For instance I might need them to tell me what to do about my paranoid thinking that is getting me in trouble with the law. Can't really wait to find my own direction there, I need answers!

[stopdog]

I never went to get answers about me or what I should or could do. I have asked about what the therapist was doing at me or how therapy worked but as for how for me to live my life is definitely not something I think a therapist has the ability to answer. I guess that would be part of the woman staying back - I don't want or need her opinion about anything having to do with me. I might go so far as to say I need the woman to keep her opinions and answers to herself and refrain from inflicting them upon me.

[ChavInAHat]

I need my T to be real with me (as in tell it as it is no sugar coating ect)- which she is pretty good at.

I need someone to listen non-judgementally - which she does, she is very critical of those that have hurt me, but never of my feelings or my way of thinking which is good

Although a little more support wouldn't go amiss. I emailed her yesterday regarding something big that has happened in my family which may have consequences for me and her answer was actually pretty crap as it was totally unrealistic for me to follow the advice, she herself said, she didn't like giving.



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[ScarletPimpernel]

I need honesty, a connection, for her to listen to me, and to be supportive.

I want her to care. I want casual hugs.

Originally Posted by Permacultural

Depends on the nature of the problem I suppose. If I'm having PTSD dreams for instance, I need techniques to try, that have been shown to work, without medication, to sleep without the dreams.

Or For instance I might need them to tell me what to do about my paranoid thinking that is getting me in trouble with the law. Can't really wait to find my own direction there, I need answers!

Those sound like things the average person would not have knowledge of and would not think to expect such specific solutions.

[RedSun]

Hmmm, my T has asked me this before 'but what do you NEED?' And I think, 'well if I knew that I wouldn't ****ing be here would I?'

I think I need boundaries. I need T not to enact with me the way that others have/do. To show me that I don't have power over others in the way I think I do.

[Gazelle98]

My t has often asked me this and I never know what to answer. I think I need her to listen and understand my view. I need her to understand when I'm having a hard time and be gentle and compassionate. I need her to have LOTS of patience with me and support me to be where I am and not where I think I should be.

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

Those sound like things the average person would not have knowledge of and would not think to expect such specific solutions.

I think that's because the poster who wrote that says he's a therapist, so the examples are one a therapist would give and not a person who is in therapy.

[ruh roh]

I need to have someone to talk to.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I need her to be there for me. I need connection. I need her to listen without judgment. I need to see her words in her actions. I want hugs. Thankfully my T fills all of my needs while still keeping the relationship healthy.

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[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

I'm trying to distract myself from some things going on here at home tonight....

I'm curious, what do you feel you NEED from your therapist, and do you get it?

I'm one who has a hard time identifying and admitting I have needs, it's been a battle my whole life. I honestly am not always sure what I "need."

Thanks for any feedback!

I think my needs are simple; I need to know my T cares about me as a person (not just a client), tries to understand my issues, and recognizes the struggle I'm going through just disclosing some of the issues that brought me to therapy.

[vonmoxie]

What I need from a therapist alliance:
1. Adult conversation with someone who is not particularly ego-driven.
2. Someone with the ability and inclination to respect my statements and assessments at face value, even when they don't agree.
3. Reciprocal knowledge sharing, especially where information relevant to my own mental health is concerned.

Do I get this from a therapist? Rarely. I find I'm better off identifying for myself what psychological intelligence and trust exists in the world around me, and communing there. Perhaps there has been some luck involved. Mostly just keeping my eyes open though, for indications of common experience and understanding. A very few of my friends know about my worst traumas and concerns, but they have been infinitely more helpful in bearing knowledge of them than my therapists have been.

[atisketatasket]

I either need them to offer concrete techniques for dealing with whatever or to get the heck out of my way.

Need her to move back home.

[Permacultural]

Honesty as well

[ilikecats]

I need her to know exactly what my needs are and meet them, without me having to tell her what they are.

[kecanoe]

I need a safe place for my 'littles" to interact. I need reassurance that I am not in this alone. I need consistency. I need t2 skills with EMDR and t3 skills with SE. I need help when something triggers me. And probably some other things as well

[Argonautomobile]

Honesty. Integrity. Wit.