[unaluna]

In terms of what they would LIKE you to do, as far as reaching out to them, for help in meeting your goals?

My t said yesterday - somewhat ominously, it seemed to me! - that he would be thinking about me over the long holiday weekend. Recently there have been a couple of things that caused me to go catatonic (loosely speaking) and not be as productive as i could have been during time away from him. I always promise to call him if it happens again but i never do. So this morning i did text him that i accomplished some work we had discussed, and asked if it was alright if i kept him posted so we dont have a big sad surprise on monday. He texted right back (wow!) very encouragingly. So i feel like i turned a corner. But i still have a shytload of work to do here.

[ChavInAHat]

Not at all. It is something I am going to talk to T about when we go back on the 5th of Jan.
She says I can contact her if I need to, but I feel we need an understanding and boundaries around it


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[justdesserts]

He's always extremely responsive when I reach out, but he never encourages it, so I have no idea what he wants, if anything. I think his attitude is more that he will be there if I need help, but he's not going encourage me to rely on him.

[atisketatasket]

I'm not totally sure I understand the question. You mean things clients mean to do on their own, but might need a little help with outside of session when they actually go to do them? And what the therapist wants them to do in terms of contact to get that extra help?

If I'm understanding correctly, this is what that scenario looked like in my therapy:

Me: I'm planning to do X.
Them: I think that's an excellent idea.

(Next session)
Me: I did X.
Them: Good, I think that was a good thing for you to do.

The one time I reached out was when I was having trouble getting something necessary done because a doctor's office was giving me the runaround. I asked one of mine to call as a fellow professional and say, "she needs to talk to someone about this." I was very hesitant to ask, but it was fine with her to try to intervene.

I probably could have reached out to both more than I actually did. So I think my answer is, I don't know them very well in the respect you're asking about.

[stopdog]

I don't know why it would matter to me what the therapist would like me to do.

The second one will ask why I did not call after I recount some things. I don't not call because of the therapist, I don't not call because I have not found contacting her all that useful.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

My therapist wants me to call her if I really need her or I am in crisis. She encourages me to email also to get thoughts out and let her know how I am doing. She is always relieved when I reach out because she knows that I only call when its something big and she knows the emails really help me as well. She does also encourage me to reach out to others and to use my coping strategies.

[unaluna]

I remember being in eighth grade and i was probably having PMS blues? I was home alone and feeling scared and crying etc etc etc. My parents were three blocks away playing cards at a relatives, it was a friday night, not even a big saturday party night where they would stay out until 2. Anyway i called and asked my mother to come home because i wasnt feeling well, and she said she wouldnt because the host of the card game would get mad at her. So i never asked again. I shut that sucker down. Sucker being my feelings. Now it seems to me that t is trying to get me to open that sucker back up, so to speak! with him being a safe place to do it. Its all on me, i cant blame his unwillingness or unavailability or awkwardness or anything, dang him!

I've been seeing this therapist over the past year--not a solid year because I need to take time off, anywhere from a few weeks to four months at a time. It's just the way I do therapy--work a little, take some time off and then re-engage again to do more work. She's okay with that.

When I first started with her, she gave me her cell phone number "if I needed to call" and her email. I hate the phone. I would use her office number during the evening hours if I needed to leave her a message; I knew her office wasn't open and my call would go to her answering machine. I didn't want to get her, I just wanted to leave a message. Recently, I used her email to let her know something that bugged me during our session. I expressly asked that she not respond, that I'd discuss the issue when I came to my next session. She listened. I like that. She gets me and my need to be in control of the flow of information. She understands that I'm not looking for out of session contact that involves her active participation. I really appreciate that she and I have reached an understanding of how things are going to work during this process.

I am glad that your t is open to communication and encouragement outside of sessions unaluna.
I am not sure what this new t wants or allows but she has contacted me outside of session last two times. Old t would always respond, usually I would send her an angry text threatening to leave at least every month.

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I always knew exactly what my therapist wanted me to do in regard to when to contact him for help (generally more often and/or faster than I usually would).

[YMIHere]

Originally Posted by unaluna

In terms of what they would LIKE you to do, as far as reaching out to them, for help in meeting your goals?

My t said yesterday - somewhat ominously, it seemed to me! - that he would be thinking about me over the long holiday weekend. Recently there have been a couple of things that caused me to go catatonic (loosely speaking) and not be as productive as i could have been during time away from him. I always promise to call him if it happens again but i never do. So this morning i did text him that i accomplished some work we had discussed, and asked if it was alright if i kept him posted so we dont have a big sad surprise on monday. He texted right back (wow!) very encouragingly. So i feel like i turned a corner. But i still have a shytload of work to do here.

This is the first time I've ever had a therapist that said it was OK to contact them. I just made a thread about this elsewhere (kind of crushing on him a bit), but he's the first one to ever tell me if I needed to reach out to do so. And it was a small goal, but uncomfortable so I told him I didn't know if I could pull it off and he told me I could reach out. That was stunning. It's weird though because I'm SCARED to reach out because I FEEL like I burn people out. I feel like I'm a lot to take sometimes and being in therapy, not only am I getting help I need, but I also have an outlet so that I can give those close to me a break from my meltdowns.

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

I've been seeing this therapist over the past year--not a solid year because I need to take time off, anywhere from a few weeks to four months at a time. It's just the way I do therapy--work a little, take some time off and then re-engage again to do more work. She's okay with that.

When I first started with her, she gave me her cell phone number "if I needed to call" and her email. I hate the phone. I would use her office number during the evening hours if I needed to leave her a message; I knew her office wasn't open and my call would go to her answering machine. I didn't want to get her, I just wanted to leave a message. Recently, I used her email to let her know something that bugged me during our session. I expressly asked that she not respond, that I'd discuss the issue when I came to my next session. She listened. I like that. She gets me and my need to be in control of the flow of information. She understands that I'm not looking for out of session contact that involves her active participation. I really appreciate that she and I have reached an understanding of how things are going to work during this process.

It is so much easier for me to WRITE. I've been journaling since I'm 15 and for years that was my ONLY outlet. As I just stated above, I'm trying to make sure I don't overstep any boundaries but I can definitely relate to the not wanting the contact RIGHT NOW. With people I KNOW and I'm close to I can be on the phone all day long, but when I'm feeling bad or NEEDY I really want to hide and not talk to anybody. Swallowing all that usually leads to a conversation of me melting down on my sis.

OK. Ramble over.

[junkDNA]

my T supports me thru texts and sometimes emails with my goals. like i update him if i did something hard for me (like today i went to a doctor ((i hate doctors)) by myself. T said "yay!! #adultingishard"), or if i accomplish something (like right now i am looking into becoming a medical coder and i signed up for classes at my school)

[YMIHere]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

my T supports me thru texts and sometimes emails with my goals. like i update him if i did something hard for me (like today i went to a doctor ((i hate doctors)) by myself. T said "yay!! #adultingishard"), or if i accomplish something (like right now i am looking into becoming a medical coder and i signed up for classes at my school)

Where did these therapists come from? Never had these experiences before. Though maybe it took me almost 45 years to be so bad off that they offer lol.

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