How well do you know your T?

Having thought about this question a little bit more, I suppose I do know him very well - as a therapist.
I don't know him at all as a father, a spouse, a friend, an acquaintance or a colleague, but none of those people know him as a therapist either.
So I do know him, but only this very important part of him.

I realize in only a little amount of time I know a lot about my therapist. I don't get a sense he's a sloppy oversharer. but I know he sometimes struggles w/ clients wanting a lot of access to aspects to his life that have nothing to do with their treatment or would bring too many of his own needs into that space. he is open with me but I feel as though he has done tons of work around seeming emotionally accessible without having sloppy boundaries.

I know a few tidbits about her. I know she had a snake phobia and a jack russell who passed away this last summer. I know she likes to hike. Other stuff I know from her website. She doesn't give away a lot about herself and I am okay with that.

Hey, my T has a severe snake phobia, too, and a German Shepherd that passed away last year. The snake phobia stories are pretty interesting.

My t is pretty open...I know about her failed marriage, her son and his wife, her significant other (I have met him a couple of times but he doesn't know I am a client), dysfunctional relationship with her mom and why, she only has contact with one of 4 of her siblings, loss of her father at an early age, medical issues, sports she played in high school, her semi famous step father (now deceased), her colleges, favorite activities, pets, where she has lived throughout her life. Today she told me about a new medical issue that she told a couple of clients. Since I am observant to changes and she knows I worry a lot she wanted to let me know what is happening and made me promise to not stress as prognosis is very good. She said if anything changes she will make sure I know. I also know that she has been in counseling in the past and somewhat why...also I know she has suffered burn out a couple of times (when working in hospitals with child trauma victims

I know quite a bit about my T. She has shared things over the years and shares stuff in sessions when its appropriate. It helps me to feel connected to her. I do wish I knew more about her.

I know my t very well. It is not my business to know everything, though. But she shares a lot with me.

I feel like I know a decent amount about my T considering I've only been seeing her for four months, but I'd love to know more. I have a bunch of questions I've been wanting to ask, though I've only asked some of them. She's pretty open and will talk about herself if I ask a question or if something comes up in conversation that makes her say something about herself. But she doesn't really talk about super personal things, like when I asked why she got divorced she didn't tell me the specific reason. And I understand, but I also really want to know.

My previous T's have been very non-disclosure type of T's, though one was more open than the other, I just never saw her that much.

This T surprised me with her open-ness. She has shared various things about her life (husband, kids, some past family stuff), but it has always been in reaction to something I was telling her. I once told her that I am extremely boring and have nothing interesting to say, and she responded with "Well, how on earth could we have hour upon hour of therapy if you had nothing to say?" I told her that she did a lot of talking, so that helped, and she replied with "Yes, but I need things to draw upon." I thought about that a lot, and realized she did tell me a lot about her own life, but it was always drawn upon whatever I was saying.

Just today the woman decided to tell me something about herself. I have no idea why.

I know a lot about all of my ts, it depends ion their approach to therapy too, some share more than others.
Ex t would share a lot about her own childhood but it was always to validate me or so I could relate.
New t tells me a lot too but they trained at the same school and so are thought to be honest and open with clients.
New t is very different though as she shares sexual experiences. I am always quite shocked by that.


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That is funny. Yes, her snake stories have been interesting. I am thankful I am not afraid of snakes.

I think that I knew a lot about my old t as far as personality and interests and background. I'm not so sure about family life, but I knew a little. I always wished that I knew more about her personal life but not about her family, if that makes sense. Hearing about her own children would always make me feel jealous almost.

I didn't know anything about this latest t.

It is important for me to know about my therapist outside of simply her job. It makes the therapist seem more like a real person to me. It comforts me to know that she is more than just a doctor, that she has feelings and worries and hobbies just like me.

I don't know much about him, just surface stuff.

He tells me I have to know nothing about him so he can be a blank slate. I know enough that he is not a blank slate. Not enough that he could be a friend.

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I know quite a lot about my T. We were close back in the day. He may have forgotten all the things he told me but I haven't. He was important to me. Therapy was working until he betrayed me. I don't know how he could do that to me. He turned against me out of left field. It was a complete 180 degree turn around.

I know more than I wanted to about my ex-therapist.

I don't know that much about him, and I'm unconcerned about knowing him better in particular; I'm neither happy nor unhappy about it. However, what I do notice is that his tension around making sure he doesn't disclose even the most inconsequential details of his personal life frequently corrupts our exchange, and that does end up being frustrating. When something I've stated as a normal part of conversation causes him to feel prompted to share some or another personal detail, he gets like a threatened cat with his hair standing on end, and then it's weird, puts a vibe into the room as if I'm trying to know him better so I can stalk him or something, which I have literally zero interest in. Despite having been given all his phone numbers I have used ever only his office number, only infrequently and with regard only to appointment management.

He doesn't even manage to come out of it, stays hypervigilant with that frightened look on his face for minutes following, and then never reunites with whatever calm he had exhibited previously.

It's an exhausting example of his counter-transference that I am apparently in no position to help prevent, since anything I might say to try to assure him of my true lack of interest in his personal life is perceived as another attempt to make him feel relaxed so that he lets something slip.

I know him very well - background, current family life, taste in music, books, hobbies, religious beliefs. We talked a lot about just stuff like that and we have a LOT in common. It helped me trust him but it didn't help my transference issues.