How well do you know your T?

How well do you know your T?

How much do you know about T's personality, interests, background, family life?

How important is it to you to know?

Personally, I don't know much about her and I am happy about that. I think getting to know her well would be anti-therapeutic for me, as one of my problems is being overly interested in knowing and helping out others and neglecting my own self.

I don't know anything and don't know how knowing about the woman would help me. I would not say, for me, not knowing is therapeutic or that knowing would be anti-therapeutic - I am more just not interested. I don't joke with or play with the woman - that is what I do with friends or people I know and the woman, the time I allowed it to happen, was not worthy and abused it. I don't care about having things in common with the woman.

I think my T used some shared interests to build our relationship and it speed up that initial awkwardness and we got a connection through it.

We still make jokes regarding our shared geek interests in sessions which helps me to stay grounded.

We also have one thing in common in our personal lives which means she understands my current stresses as a parent, as she deals with similar

I don't need to know more, I don't think I want to. I'm not there to make friends

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I do know quite a bit about my t's personality, interests, background, & family life and that does make me happy. It is important that I know these things as my t has become a highly important person in my life both inside and outside of the therapy room. I care about her, so I care about the things in her life.

I don't know that much about him - he matches my sense of humour and that's good for me. He's not entirely a blank slate and he's very human and that's good enough.

The only stuff I know about T is stuff I found on Google. I think it's better for me to not know too much about him. I want the focus to be on me.

I know T very well and would have it no other way. It has been that with all three of my T's. They were all very family oriented as am I, and we shared that kind of info with each other. They all kept many family photos in their offices, and a bit of small talk at the beginning or end of sessions was our routine. It was only perhaps a minute, but over the course of years, you can learn a good deal about a person that way.

Knowing a bit about my T's that way is important to me because it helps me relax and reminds me that their lives are not much different than mine. It keeps them very human and down-to-earth for me. Might be one of the reasons I had no problem trusting them; they were always very real and honest with me which made it easy to reciprocate. I also never put them on a pedestal. I never struggled with wanting to know more, or envying them because I imagined their lives to be perfect, or longing for them to be someone to me they could never be. That familiarity kept their role in my life in perspective so that I could focus entirely on my needs and growth without getting caught up in transference issues because I always saw them and their lives as healthily separate from my own.

When I think about it, it is very much that way with my pdoc and even my family doctors. I'm a chit-chatter I guess and find that kind of interaction pretty normal, friendly, and comfortable with the practitioners I use.

I know some things. Not a lot. I appreciate that she doesn't display family photos, knowing how it can appear arrogant and self-satisfied to clients who have none or who don't fit into limited social standards. She's very accepting that way. That's the most important thing I know about her.

I feel like I know T well as a professional--his manner of conducting session, how he'll respond to this or that thing I say/do. How late he'll be. So, no nasty surprises and I like that.

I know NOTHING about my T personally. NOTHING. And it surprises me that I like that.

I know him fairly well in some ways - his taste in books and music, his sense of humour, his thoughts about human language, his opinions on (some) political issues, and some of his hobbies and interests. I know almost nothing about his personal life, whether he is married or has children, for instance, and I would not want to know anything about such things. I know which country he is from and how long he's lived in my country but that's it as far as background goes.

I know some. It doesn't make a difference either way honestly.

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I know very little about my therapist's personal life . . . well actually NOTHING about her personal life other than her age and career (seen on psychology today website). I know a bit about her political leanings because of my own rants in therapy. Personally, I like knowing nothing. I'm not curious and I don't ask questions.

Throughout the years I have learned a significant amount about T. She didn't immediately start telling me personal things. It was more when things related to what I was dealing with at the time or when I have asked questions. It has been very beneficial for me because I often judge myself so harshly. She frequently tells me how amazed at how successful I am despite my early years, how strong I am, and that I am normal. She uses herself to show me how she too struggles with things similar to myself. Also her being open has helped me to trust her when trust is such a hard thing for me and feel not judged by her.

I know No. 2 better than No. 1. It didn't start out that way, but as various crises kept happening to me, she opened up more with a couple traumas in her life.

I would however say that I don't know either that well. I have never asked either about themselves. I am not there to make friends, and our acquaintanceship is temporary, even if temporary turns out to last for years. It works better for me that way.

I am wondering about a definitional problem, though - what is know well to one client might be barely know to a second, and a third might define know well as knowledge of their character, not facts about their lives.

My T has slowly disclosed some stuff to me over the past year but I still don't know much about her interests. I know a little about her family and where she has lived but I don't ask her questions about that kind of stuff and she only tells me stuff if it is directly related to what we are talking about.

For what it is worth - the woman does not know me either in any real sense of how I consider knowing someone. Just because I have told her some things does not equal her then knowing me.

I know very little about him outside therapy, the only things I've gleaned from him are that he's a Grandad, and that he likes film, as well as a bit about his professional history. I also know he likes woodwork but I got that from his amazon author profile.
All I need to know is that his boundaries are good and he can remain consistent and ethical. Nothing else really matters to me.

I know a little about T. From the start, I've known she's married and that her H also used to work in the same practice, that she has 2 kids and a few grandkids. I knew a few things about her hobbies, sports teams she likes, etc. But she gave me very few glimpses into her life outside the office. Over the past year or so (I've been seeing her 4 years), she's been giving me more insights into her personal life, what she's like as a mother, a few issues she had early on in her marriage, and a few things that stress her out. I appreciate the additional insight, because it makes me feel more connected to her. And not like she has this perfect and stress-free life.

My marriage counselor is much more open about his personal life, including some of his own struggles and faults. He shares a lot about things that have happened in his life, as a parent, as a husband, when he was younger, etc. that relate to things we're addressing in session (and sometimes not particularly related!) He's also admitted to having one of the same mental health issues that I do, so it makes me feel like he understands me more because he's been there (T hasn't shared anything like that).

Overall, it's definitely made me feel more connected to him as compared to my T--which led to some fairly intense transference at one point, where I kind of idealized him both as a father and as a husband (at different times). But we've mostly worked through that, and now I see him as the generally good, but flawed and rather insecure person that he is.

I don't know much about my T. The things I know I've found through google. I wish I would know more about her. I want to know more about her. I don't know if it would be good for me, at least not at the moment. I'm already jealous enough on T.

I knew quite a lot about a previous t and found it really difficult. I don't know anything about current t and like it that way.

hi Bill3,
I know my therapist very well. we get along with each other. she knows when I m in crisis she calls me .when I had my surgery over the summer this year , she called me back up the following night to check in on me . last year for Christmas I gave her a pewter angel figurine cuz she is my guardian angel . I have one exactly like her on my desk . the one thing that I like about my therapist is that she is an experienced registered nurse and mother too. she cares for me as her client .I would be lost without my therapist now if I didn't meet her last year .





Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds : Cymbalta 60 mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia with an additional 25 mgs at night for insomnia when up past 1:00 in the morning

I know T fairly well and I am ok with that. T has shared a lot of his life with me, when it was appropriate to share, in appropriate ways. So, that means he shared when it applied to my situation, and he didn't do it in a way that made me feel like I was listening to his problems. However, I have been working with him for 4 years now, so I expect to know a good amount about it. I don't think that I could form a good attachment with me T if he hadn't shared himself with me. However, that is just me.

I used to think I knew T very well but then she called me names and ditched me in a painful way. Now I think I never knew her at all.

T and I have similar interests, histories and taste in superheroes. he has overcome similar challenges to mine and I find what he shares to be incredibly helpful. I like seeing how nice his life is now because rather than make me envious or bitter (which seems a typical reaction to Ts around here) it makes me feel hopeful and gives me the confidence to keep working through my struggles and accept his nurture and care.

Same. I've googled my therapist extensively. I sometimes regret it as it made me find out about her kids, of whom I'm jealous.
Knowing stuff humanizes her on one hand but it also makes it harder.
I've also guessed a lot about her life, based on some stuff I've read so I feel like I know her but in the end, it's probably an illusion as I'm just guessing and projecting my own feelings onto her.