[rainbow8]

Same subject, probably doesn't need trigger but I don't know.

I'm painting now and suddenly started crying and repeating " I don't want her to have sex with him." I need to say that now and cry about it. I feel better getting that out and acknowedging it. I'm not sure if it's child or adult parts or both. All I know is that have to say that out loud.

I emailed T yesterday something like that and in her email back she just said we'd discuss my email in my next session in 2 weeks. She said she knows her going away is hard and brings up a lot of stuff, and that I should try to nurture myself. She reminded me I have family and friends who love me. And that I have painting! All true.

That part who is crying is glad to have me say it's all right to have that thought about T. We'll work it out in future sessions as it seems kind of important.

[Inner_Firefly]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Same subject, probably doesn't need trigger but I don't know.

I'm painting now and suddenly started crying and repeating " I don't want her to have sex with him." I need to say that now and cry about it. I feel better getting that out and acknowedging it. I'm not sure if it's child or adult parts or both. All I know is that have to say that out loud.

I emailed T yesterday something like that and in her email back she just said we'd discuss my email in my next session in 2 weeks. She said she knows her going away is hard and brings up a lot of stuff, and that I should try to nurture myself. She reminded me I have family and friends who love me. And that I have painting! All true.

That part who is crying is glad to have me say it's all right to have that thought about T. We'll work it out in future sessions as it seems kind of important.

It's great you are taking such gentle care of the crying part, allowing her voice to be heard and acknowledged. Painting brings us in touch with feelings, and this sounds like an important feeling that keeps coming up. Your T sounds very caring and open to hearing your feelings. I hope your 2 weeks will pass quickly, full of comforting and nurturing from your friends, family and painting, and before you know it you will get to discuss everything with T in person. If it helps, I have felt similarly about my T too! but too shy to admit it, it's great you are so aware and able to describe your feelings so well.

[LonesomeTonight]

Just wanted to give you

[unaluna]

I wonder who her and him are. Its like your husband-protector is gone now so you have yo face the question again. Im relating this to my brother tickling me - i was powerless to stop it, i didnt like it, my parents thought that if i was laughing then i was happy. But it was assaultive. This t and past ts always ask, and how did that make you feel? Some things were SO weird that i had to say, this is NOT my life, i am not reacting to this. But now i wonder, like how did i deal with the tickling? It must have been awful.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by Inner_Firefly

It's great you are taking such gentle care of the crying part, allowing her voice to be heard and acknowledged. Painting brings us in touch with feelings, and this sounds like an important feeling that keeps coming up. Your T sounds very caring and open to hearing your feelings. I hope your 2 weeks will pass quickly, full of comforting and nurturing from your friends, family and painting, and before you know it you will get to discuss everything with T in person. If it helps, I have felt similarly about my T too! but too shy to admit it, it's great you are so aware and able to describe your feelings so well.

Thank you, Firefly. Your message is very sweet! I hope that you will at some point be able to share your feelings with your T too. It's taken me years of therapy to be able to do it, and 5 years with my current T. I'm a slow learner!

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Just wanted to give you

. I appreciate the hug. Here's one for you too.

Originally Posted by unaluna

I wonder who her and him are. Its like your husband-protector is gone now so you have yo face the question again. Im relating this to my brother tickling me - i was powerless to stop it, i didnt like it, my parents thought that if i was laughing then i was happy. But it was assaultive. This t and past ts always ask, and how did that make you feel? Some things were SO weird that i had to say, this is NOT my life, i am not reacting to this. But now i wonder, like how did i deal with the tickling? It must have been awful.

You know I relate to the brother stuff. In session T was trying to get me to be angry with him, push him away, and say NO! But I did tell him no that one time he started unbuttoning my blouse, and that was the end of it. T still says I'm protecting him. I've read that tickling can be cruel. Your brother probably wasn't trying to be cruel though. Neither was mine. T said it's confusing because I loved him, so I excuse his behavior.

Who does my T and her bf represent? Good question! My parents? I want Mommy to myself, don't want her being alone with Daddy. But I never consciously thought that as a child. It just seems the most obvious answer.