[RoselynKeir]

I have started seeing a therapist who claims to use Trauma-Informed Art Based Therapy. I've had a handful of sessions with her and I'm not so sure that this is the right sort of treatment for me.

I do have obsessive compulsive disorder, it's just something I've always lived with. I schedule things to the minute and organize them to the smallest detail. My therapist can't seem to keep it together. She doesn't know how to use the scheduling on her tablet so she schedules with me, then texts me two to three times to reschedule my appointment.

I know therapists like to put labels on things, but labeled me on the first appointment with post-traumatic stress disorder, dissociative identity disorder and depersonalization disorder within 15 minutes of speaking to me and most of that time was her talking over me.

I've been through a lot. My mother passed away and my family abandoned me. I was homeless for a time, bounced from place to place. I suffered through physical assault, rape and an ectopic pregnancy due to it. She will briefly mention my past issues that I listed on paper, which are the entire reason I am seeking help- 'But we're not going to talk about or go into detail about all that'.

She asked me to bring my 2 year old daughter in to 'see how I interact with her', I explained ahead of time that the appointment was during her nap time, she had just had her vaccinations done three days prior and she was still a little off kilter because of it- clingy, cranky, restless ect. which she usually isn't. She instantly told me her clinging and crankiness was because of me and that my 'issues' were being sponged up by my daughter. She took to telling me I had to do the exercises 'for my daughter', which made me feel like if I failed the exercise, I'd fail my daughter and she'd end up just as messed up as I am. Needless to say, I didn't appreciate it and I left the office more anxious than I entered it.

Another exercise she wanted me to do was a 'safe' exercise. I was to imagine one of my listed safe places and draw the feeling of safety. I did so and took it to her feeling confident with the image, which she said was amazing and more than she expected, but it was completely wrong. She wants abstract. She showed me a bunch of pictures of colorful vomit blobs of paint or crayon by young children and told me to do the same. I do not see things in abstract. I only see definite, solid shapes and images. I was tempted to just let my 2 year old scribble something up and hand it to her.

I agreed to 16 sessions with her, but in my last text to confirm my appointment, I eluded to the fact that I would 'continue bi-weekly sessions until the end of my 16 agreed upon sessions'. I think she took the hint because now she wants me to do an assessment of our sessions as well.

I would not sign on with this therapist. Making those kinds of diagnoses that quickly sends up all sorts of red flags to me. Her comments about your daughter are pretty awful and it sounds like she is using your daughter as a way to hook you into her therapy. If you can back out of this, please consider doing so. Seems like the potential for her creating more problems that you arrived with.

I'd pfind me another therapist.

No real therapist, especially one that
specializes in trauma, could assess -
much less diagnose - within 15 minutes.

Sounds like a hack and a quack to me!

As pfar as art therapy goes for trauma
recovery, I pfound it to be helpful as a
part of my therapy process, but there's
a lot more to trauma recovery than just
drawing stuff ...

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

There is evidence to suggest that the modality of the therapist is less important than the therapeutic relationship between therapist and client. It sounds like the therapeutic relationship isn't strong at this stage and she's not doing a great job of understanding you. Are you obliged to stay for the 16 weeks (in terms of contract or some other binding reason)? If not I would suggest you find another T you can gel with, and who listens to you.

[RoselynKeir]

@Echos Myron - It's 16 sessions that I have bi-weekly, but unfortunately, I have already agreed to them. It was a requirement of hers. I've only gone to about 4 sessions?

I've already looked into another office for therapy. My husband and I wanted to do marriage counseling, but we haven't heard back from the place since our intake to be placed with anyone. I'm going to give them a call today.

[Out There]

I use art in Therapy but I have reservations about this T.

[RoselynKeir]

I didn't have any reservations about it until now. To me, most abstract is the nice way of saying 'this isn't real artwork, it's color vomit'. I took art classes for years to learn how to draw and paint. I'm not going to waste my time on something my 2 year old could do better than I could. lol

[stopdog]

I would not go back to that one, agreement or not. It could cost money depending upon what the contract says, but if it is just that she made you agree to that without more -you actually attending appointments is not something she can make you do.

Agreement or not, I would not make myself
go back and do something that doesn't pfeel
right to me!

This could cause even more harm!

[RoselynKeir]

I'm going to look into it and read back through my e-mails with her. I don't believe it was in the official paperwork, but I remember agreeing to it in e-mail.

[stopdog]

She cannot make you attend if you don't want to go back unless there are outside requirements you attend (like a court order). It does not matter if you said okay in an email or not. She could try to enforce the k, if there was one, in court, but all she could get is the loss of income. And even then in this sort of situation, it would be a longshot not to mention the hassle of doing it.

Do not, I repeat DO NOT! ... Allow this woman to manipulate you!

Even if it is a monetary agreement, I would not go back and would not pfeel obligated to pay for the sessions I didn't partake in!

I'd explain to her why I wasn't coming back and that I was not going to pay for pfurther sessions that I was not showing up pfor.

Again, sounds like a total hack and quack to me, and the likelihood of her coming after you for the unpaid portions you didn't attend to are highly unlikely, especially if she is a pfake, pfraud and pfony!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

I'm sorry, but this woman is really pissing me off!

No respecting therapist I know of would pforce someone to
agree to a set amount of treatments and pay or even sign
a monetary agreement up pfront!

A real trauma specialist would know exactly how tenuous just
such an agreement would be simply based upon the clients' issues
with commitment and trust in the pfirst place ...

Again! ... All kinds of red pflags here! ... Run!

I wouldn't go back and I wouldn't pay her any more money. She sounds awful.

[Out There]

Originally Posted by RoselynKeir

I didn't have any reservations about it until now. To me, most abstract is the nice way of saying 'this isn't real artwork, it's color vomit'. I took art classes for years to learn how to draw and paint. I'm not going to waste my time on something my 2 year old could do better than I could. lol

I don't have reservations about art - I have reservations about this T. Just to clarify.

[unaluna]

There have been other clients on here who have said therapists pulled that "you agreed" line on them like you agreed to a second session, when the first session showed the t to be a whack job. They just cancel and that was the end of it. If therapy is a con, a good con man doesnt show the pigeon how the trick is done! We have to WANT to give the t our money.

[Nammu]

Except for the quick diagnosises she sounds like quite a competent therapist, but a bit too much like you. She might not be organized on the outside but she has her way of doing therapy and sticks with it. Despite outward appearance it seems like you two are both set in your ways. I suspect her wanting you to do abstract is to break your ridged patterns but she should be more flexible and understand that people need to move at their own pace. It doesn't sound like a good fit. Can you discuss breaking the agreement based on conflict of styles.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by Pfrog

I'm sorry, but this woman is really pissing me off!

No respecting therapist I know of would pforce someone to
agree to a set amount of treatments and pay or even sign
a monetary agreement up pfront!

A real trauma specialist would know exactly how tenuous just
such an agreement would be simply based upon the clients' issues
with commitment and trust in the pfirst place ...

Again! ... All kinds of red pflags here! ... Run!

Random tangent-but any reason you put "p's" in front of all your f-words?

You aren't under any obligation to return to this therapist. And personally, I'd strongly urge you NOT to return. As you've studied art, you know that "learning" art techniques can be very focused and rigid, but once the artist learns the basics of a technique, art teachers and mentors encourage and support the mentee to be free and true to themselves when expressing their art. I can't believe that she'd tell you that YOUR interpretation was wrong because it wasn't abstract, especially after her obviously not telling you before hand to not use realistic images but instead to be totally abstract. Very invalidating in my opinion.

What bothers me even more is her saying, after your explanation of your daughter's post-vaccination behavior, that there is something that you are doing that is affecting your child! This woman is really very controlling and out of bounds with her labeling, especially as you haven't been seeing her for very long!

I'd just call and cancel . . . .or send an email and cancel. I would add a line at the end of the email that you don't want her to contact you--that's just to save yourself the angst of her emailing back and arguing that you "committed" to so many sessions. It doesn't matter, she can't make you stick to that and you have the right to ditch her. I had a therapist I tried out say that I needed come in for the "final" session because she insists on that. She was a nutbird. I told her "No I don't need the final session. Thanks. Bye."

Originally Posted by velcro003

Random tangent-but any reason you put "p's" in front of all your f-words?

Yes, and I'm working on it.

[RoselynKeir]

I actually just finished my 'short paragraph assessment' that she texted me about.

"-------------,

Initially, I looked forward to our sessions and felt more relaxed than when I entered, which is why I agreed to commit to sixteen sessions.
However, that is no longer the case. After the last few appointments, I left feeling more anxious and distressed, which has me regretting
that commitment and dreading the next session to the point of looking elsewhere for further counseling.

I sought out your counseling with what I now believe, was the wrong impression as to how 'trauma-informed arts-based approach'
therapy worked. I had assumed that I would be able to talk about my past traumas, work through them and learn how to use art as a
constructive method of relaxation and self expression. Instead, I feel as if we briefly touch on the subject of the trauma and follow it
with an abrupt 'but we are not going to talk about that' or 'but we are not going to go into detail about that'. I've had to stop myself
a few times from asking why I am even there if we aren't going to talk about it so that I can work through it and at this point, I
wouldn't feel comfortable enough to do so.

As for my art assignments, both past and present, I think that we have conflicting views on the subject. When you asked me to draw
what 'safety' feels like to me, that is exactly what I did. Safety to me has definite shapes and clear images. It relaxes me to create see the exact
image on paper, that I see in my mind'e eye. I do not and cannot see things in abstract. Abstract to me is unknown chaos. It makes me anxious
and distressed. I do not see abstract as safe or even art, to be quite honest. I have tried- and failed thrice thus far to complete this assignment,
only to give into my aggravation and have to start over- as if the holidays weren't stressing enough. My husband mistakenly let our daughter
color on my assignment paper and I seriously debated turning in her scribbles just to be done with it.

While on the subject, though I doubt it was your intent, I do not appreciate feeling as if my daughter is being used as a bargaining chip
during our sessions. I sought counseling to better myself because I don't want my past trauma to negatively effect her through my parenting,
but the repetitive subject of 'ingrained cellular levels' and commentary about how she has already effected by it, only made me feel like I've already
failed as her parent because I went through those traumas before she was born- willingly or not. I've already set my mind on getting help and
working through my issues. It may take time for me to do so, but I don't find being told to 'do it for my daughter' is a productive way to go about it.

At this point in time, I do not feel that continuing our sessions would be beneficial. I would like to know how to go about terminating our agreement
and when I may pick up my artwork from your office.

Roselyn"

Wow! That's a very clear and powerful message. I hope she accepts it in the spirit it's given.

[RoselynKeir]

Thankfully, she replied last night and said after reading my e-mail, she completely agreed that we were incompatible. I'm picking up my artwork from her tomorrow- no more appointments, and continue to look for another counselor. Thanks everyone.

Great News, RoselynKeir!

Good Job On Advocating For Yourself!

[stopdog]

Glad to hear it worked out easily